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Emma Merritt posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 5:06pm

This has been a fantastic story to read, to let you know the absolute truth I wasn't going to read it as I didn't think I'd like it, I mean please; Harry Potter the Gryffindor Golden Boy and Pansy Parkenson the Queen of Slytherin, there was no way that a story about the two of them falling in love would be any good. But I've read your other stories and I've loved them 'This Means War' I've printed out so that I have a hard copy just in case.
So I read the first few chapters and you sucked me in, desperately waiting for the next chapter, and now the last one... and what a last chapter, if I wrote all the praises I wanted to this review would end up looking like I swallowed a thesaurus, but what I really want to do is thank you for sharing this astronomical story with all of us readers. And I'm begging you; please don't write a story where Harry Potter loves Snape, any Malfoy or Voldemort as I don't think I could stand liking any of them.

verahsa posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 5:05pm

Dear Tim (and your beta crew),

First, please write some of those short story epilogues sometime in the future! =)

This was absolutely amazing. Everything came together in a way that I wouldn't have imagined off the top of my head, but made perfect sense in hindsight. Doing so lead us on a merry chase of adventure that easily rivals Rowling's works (if not improves upon, but that's my opinion).

As much effort as you've put into this story, I will make an attempt to make a non-biased review on everything good and everything bad. In doing so, please pardon the length of my response.

First: The Bad.

Pansy. I -love- what you did with her as a character, but it was too much on some levels. She went from being pugnosed to stunningly beautiful. This was a little extreme in the beginning, but became normal over the course of your novella. (more on this, and other points, later)

Ginny. Her abrupt change of opinion regarding Harry, while explained as not-so-abrupt, was still abrupt to the reader. It's hard to fit in such back story and have it play off well. Seeing her in a relationship at the end as H/P/G was a little bit cliche though.

Harry. This was definitely a super power fic. In some places, it was -almost- taken too far. His emotional understanding, again, while not-so-abrupt in explanation, was fairly abrupt to the reader.

Storyline. Some of the changes of point of view were unnecessary, and could have been told from Harry's PoV. There were a couple of, well, "jumps" to the storyline that didn't make sense until later. The only other complaint I have is one of timeline. Seeing things come to a conclusion LONG before the 7th year was expected because you told us so early on, but it's still feels a little "off" to have things occur differently than what canon has pointed to in a general basis.

Subplot. There were places that I felt that the subplot became more important than the overall storyline. This was mostly in chapters 4 and 5.

Second. The Good.

Pansy. Whie her change was abrupt to the reader, you -did- give believable backstory that completely met with canon facts. The fact that you pulled off a Harry/Pansy story with absolute faith to canon astounds me. Everything we knew about her was a facade, and that simple fact made it perfect.

Ginny. Again, the abrupt change was noticed, but you at least gave backstory for it. You also didn't have her immediately "give up her love" for Harry, like so many other fanfics that involve non-Harry/Ginny do. This led credibility to her as a character and as a plot device in and of herself. The ending where it seems that it's going to be H/P/G is also a bonus for emotional reasons on my part. Seeing the three of them together is perfect as I can imagine no one else in canon to match her. It also brings a happy ending that is very appreciated.

Harry. While he -was- very powerful, you kept it within reason, and EVERY point of power was explained and processed. The way you explained it also points to the simple fact that ALL wizards COULD be that powerful with the right inspiration and dedication; well, and the help of the Council of Elves. I also loved that you didn't fall back on the "Harry is so-and-so's Heir from the Founders Era." This is commonly done, and stands so far from canon's statement that "pure-blood mania" is a bunch of shit that I rarely read Harry as an Heir. You avoided that, and still kept it aligned with the story.

Storyline. Your tale of Harry's (and his freinds') rite of passage was masterful. On a spiritual, emotional, and physical level he came to understand his place in the world. You also managed it to beautiful precision in execution. The small "jumps" that you did put in were fully rounded out in later chapters or scenes, respectively. The few PoV changes you used were either from Voldemorts PoV or were at least somewhat necessary to developing and concluding the plot. As far as timeline goes, while it was odd, it felt right in the way you told the story. While canon has painted (with a very undefined brush) a 7th year conclusion, it wasn't decisive, and you made it fit in perfectly. Knowing this, I sincerely hope to see (over time) pieces of what is to come for our hero and heroines. I hop to see that every few weeks (or months, depending on length and how much time you want to spare for it) put up a piece about things as they occur up to what I would consider a final "ending," you know, everything works out; maybe even finish it off with an epilogue that vaguely details the remainder of Harry's life or something.

Subplot. The many intricacies that were beyond the "basic" plot really added depth and flavor to the story. Most of them even had tie ins to the main plot, and that's not always easy to do. You managed it with the aplomb we've come to expect from your writing. These multiple layers of storyline that fit in to the "main" story are really what add believability and entertainment to your writing.

Third. Everything else.

Grammar and other Mechanical Necessities. This is both for you, Tim, and your beta crew. This is, in my opinion, the best of your "longer" stories. (TMW! is a fun piece, but definitely has things that make it a mix between a serious novella and a humor piece.) Speech syntax, spelling, verb useage, everything was spot on. Yes, there were a few mistakes (on the order of about 10 mistakes in all 8 chapters, and I know you've corrected some of them since I last looked), but they were so minor that they didn't detract from the story. Your (and your crews') attention to detail make reading your works a pleasure. So much so that when 8 came out, I started at Chapter 1 so I could experience the whole thing at one time.

And last? What I feel is hoenst praise for a story I absolutely loved.

Overall, this is absolutely the BEST Harry/Pansy fiction on the net. I would rank it in the top 10 of -all- Potter fictions, regardless of pairing. All the things you expect to see from the Potterverse are here. Angst, in manageable levels. Peer pressure. War. Compassion. Magic, explained, but not bemoaned. Re-eductation (and I don't mean classes). Action, adventure, and Everything else. There's nothing that compares to this in regards to believability, and very little that compares for entertainment value and emotional involvement of a reader.

I hope that this review is helpful in your future endeavors. If you have any questions about something I've said, e-mail me, I will respond as clearly as I can.

I want to thank you for writing something that I have thoroughly enjoyed reading, have already saved, and will continue to re-read time and again. Thank you so much for dedicating what must have been hundreds of hours of writing, editing, cleaning up, and otherwise polishing this wonderful piece. Thanks to all of you. I'll have the PDA file for you tomorrow.

To your beta crew: Thank you all for your tireless efforts in helping Tim's imaginative genius appear as flawlessly as it did. Seeing you guys support him (and readers everywhere) by "editing" his works really helps make this something it wouldn't have been. Speaking from experience, the -best- ideas can go flop really hard if there are plot holes, bad grammar, lots of mispelling, canon errors without explanation, or other flaws that are unfortunately commonly found in writers who don't ask for help. As much as I praise Tim for his imagination, I realize that these stories probably wouldn't be near so eloquent or poignant without your efforts; and so I also give the highest accolades to your time and attention to detail. (No offense, Tim. ) Thank you, all of you.


Nicholas Vantrease

Adam Call posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 4:58pm

DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!! That was awseome! I would have to agree with you about this being a bit long, but who the HELL cares! I don't think I've read a better story than this one. Please don't leave too many things unfinished, but with your expertise, I don't feel worried at all. Good luck with your future works, and please don't make us wait too long for your next masterpiece!

Lynsey posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 4:57pm

I love your stories. This one is no different, but did we ever find out what they wrote on the painting in Grimmauld Place?

James Rayner posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 4:52pm

Just when i thought the story couldn't get any better you had to pull out this outstanding conculsion to it. i am glad and sad glad i got to read it all and sad that the trip is over. i am glad you are going to write some short stories in this universe the quiddice match with dobby should be halarious. i lot forward to any more stories you write in the harry potter universe i have read all of your and just can't wait for any more you right

Sydney posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 4:33pm

Wow... that's really just... wow!

Darrell posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 4:28pm



Steven Anderson posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 4:22pm

Good work. I thought the ending chapter felt a little hurried but other than that it was an excellent job.

Crom posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 3:54pm

It's been over a month and a half since the last update on this site. Good to know that it was well worth the wait. Excellent ending, though I'm definitely looking forward to the extra outtakes from this story. Keep up the good work!

Rebecca posted a comment on Wednesday 21st September 2005 3:04pm

I cannot, cannot believe this story is over. When I first saw it, I wondered how in the world Pansy and Harry could possibly fall in love. You did it, and it was serious and funny and amazing to read. Every character had depth and a purpose; they all meant something to the story. Most of all, everything made sense, people acted and reacted perfectly. A great example is Malcolm and Gruoch. They were strong adult leaders, supporting Harry and Pansy, but their parental insticts were still there. I am so glad I found your stories and decided to give this one a try. The short stories in this universe should be great; I'm looking forward to them.

Dan posted a comment on Tuesday 20th September 2005 6:22am

i love your story and the polt is awesome.

chris posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2005 3:30am

love it hope you update soon and i love the way this stroy is going and i can't wait to see harrys reaction to what dumbledore has requested!!!

Rob posted a comment on Sunday 18th September 2005 1:41pm

Great Story. Keep writing. I enjoy reading this story as you carn't find many good Harry & Pansy stories.

FairyQilan posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 8:46pm

I love you! I'm serious. Ihaven't read any stories as good as thisin a long time, except for your other story, 'Wild Horses'. Please please pretty please wrie more?

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Saturday 17th September 2005 3:57pm

Very good, really enjoying this story, can't wait to read more.


TxA_GunFight er posted a comment on Friday 16th September 2005 10:42pm

Really good stuff. What can I say but Brilliant writing.


TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Friday 16th September 2005 7:47pm

Very good chapter, really enjoying this story.


TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Friday 16th September 2005 1:06pm

Each chapter gets better and better. You tell a mean story. I love the tenderness and love, the friends being true friends. This is so much more fun to read than most of the doom and gloom stories. I am hooked, you write and I'm gladly read.


TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Friday 16th September 2005 10:49am

Very good. That was some seriously good writing. Really loveeed this chapter.


TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Friday 16th September 2005 6:14am

Very good. Love the family stuff. Really good story being well told. Nice writing.