TheWickedTruth posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 7:31am

Great chapter, can't wait for more.

Shadewing posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 4:08am

Hi,

I've been really enjoying your writing, you have a great way of conveying a lot of descriptive information without large paragraphs of exposition, alowing more dialoge and plot through.

During the broom flight you said Harry "did an aileron roll around" Cedric, aileron rolls don't go arround anything as they are just the rotaion of the aircraft around an axis with no vertical of horisontal movement; barrel rolls are a spiral arround an area of space.

Here is an image about the rolls, http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu327/ADayy000/aaaaasdasdasd.jpg

For myself, probably because I am a pilot, this jarred me out of the flow the story had. It wasn't much but I thought I should let you know you might want to check that.

I will close with saying the rest of the chapter was great!

tim944 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 4:02am

from what you have written here, I suspect you have spent some time in a forge , working or at least closely observing a smith. Very nicely done, I can feel the heat and the impact of hammer on metal. Inspires me to go brush off my anvil and get to work.

As alweays, I enjoy your writing and look forward to whenever something inspires you to write. Thanks you for years of enjoyable reading.

kb0 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 3:50am

I really enjoyed this chapter. I can see you setting things up for the end and I think it's coming together well.

Thanks for sharing!

AceofRavens posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 3:03am

KICKA** CHAPTER! I have to admit that you and Bobmin are my two favorite authors here on this site, and I reread the stories from time to time. Please don't let the stories die!

Michael10 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 2:41am

another good chapter...

and Bellatrix's mind was cracked before this. keep up the good work and if you keep to schedule see the next chapter in seven days.

michaelsuave posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 1:55am

I really liked this chapter, and it didn't feel like it had a glaring plothole like the other one with dobby and harry being ambushed and no houseelves being around. The armor description reminds me of what daedric armor looks like in skyrim or the other elder scrolls games. It will be interesting to see how the public takes to the story of Harry's armor. Even without the prisoners escaping, the story is sure to leak out; the wizarding government leaks secrets like a seive adn the aurors have alwasy struck me as undertrained when it comes to protical for keeping prisoners underwraps. I also wonder if Harry will be getting a formal statement of friendship or suchwhat from the Neville or Dame Longbottom? Thanks for the fun read, and I look forward to seeing more of this. Cheers!

Alun Lewis posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 12:59am

I think Shack was underpowering his verbal remarks...Harry just went all Conan the Destroyer on those Death Eaters! And it was Awesome! Honestly, I'm picturing a more Light friendly version of the Witch-King of Angmar or Sauron himself appearing out of the mists and just eviscerating his opponents :O

Ken Warner posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 12:48am

I am not sure how to review this, I had to stop about 1/2 way through the chapter for a prior commitment, and I walked away from my desk chuckling at the awesome power of a description, the perfect turn of phrase that had been used.

Then I was able to finish the chapter now, 6 hours later and I am still just as awed as I was then.

This is a marvelous story, I love the dedication to learning that Harry is showing, that Hermione is learning to channel and balance her life, the comradery of the group watching Harry work at the forge. It ti wonderful and warm and friendly.

Thanks so much for sharing - there are many reasons that Jeconais most frequently the author I use to introduce someone to fanfictions.

warmest regards.

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 7:25pm

I laughed a lot reading this chapter, nice to see the differences in charcters you use for different fics.

Malcho1234 posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 7:00pm

This is a great fanfiction. So far there's only one thing that irks me. Esmeralda. I've yet to meet a Bulgarian girl with that name, and trust me, beong a Bulgarian myself, I've met plenty. The only kind of people around here that would name their daughter like that are those obsessed with the Brasilian/Kubean/other such TV dramas. Or gypsies... And the gypsies around here are nothing like Romilda. Still, apart from that, I love this fanfiction just like I love your other fics.

Davideg posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 6:48pm

thank you for sharing another fantastic chapter as well as for all there time and effort put in to this please continue to update a.s.a.l.a.

sinewyk posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 5:21pm

I don't know why, but this bug hulking dark knight image in heavy armor with a big ass sword give me some good feeling. Just like in https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7402590/1/Deprived. THE FEELS MAN.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 5:20pm

It's interesting that Harry could used elf magic

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 5:03pm

A cracking good read, with a well written switch from fun and games to death and disemberment.

joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 5:01pm

I generally have a high tolerance for *your* Mary Sues, but this is getting tedious. Harry is a 14 year-old BOY. Do you know what teenage boys innovate? Jack sh*t, that's what. *If* a boy has practiced something like piano or martial arts, daily, since he was 5, THEN he *might* have a high technical proficiency by the time he is 14, but he still won't be a master and he still won't be innovating by that age.

Harry is a messed-up boy with only about 31 cumulative months in the magical world, nearly all of that at a school. If there was some kind of magic rules he could be breaking, then 10 thousand other magical schoolkids would have already broke them. That doesn't even factor in that Harry was slacking off his first 3 years.

Do you know how laughable and tiresome reading things like the following is: o-- I’ve yet to see a magical shield that can stop a swinging sword. (True, that is typical of the colossally ignorant and arrogant things that teenage boys say, but that's the only believable part of it.) o-- Of everyone I know, he is the only person who could lose his magic and instantly transfer to the Muggle world and be a success.

There's plenty more but I won't bore you with that unless requested.

I like strong Harrys as much as the next guy. But the growth has to be believable or the willing suspension of disbelief is trashed. The character has to have setbacks and TRUE challenges, or the story drags and the drama seems cheap and silly.

You can do better than this.

BJH posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 4:48pm

Real nice chapter. I take it that the whole life debt/promise thing totally knocks out any chance of a Harry and Daphne romance. Oh well, I've guessed wrong before.

I also liked how you went from Harry as Ironman to Harry as Robocop. I'm surprised you didn't use the line: "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." What's next, Harry as Terminator? I can just see some random accident causing Harry to turn up "Stark" naked in front of everyone and turning to Sirius saying, in an Austrian accent, "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." Or just end the story with Harry saying, "Hasta la vista, baby."

I also really like what you are doing with Amelia, her understanding that she, in spite of being on the right side, is still part of the problem.

BJH

Hytekrednek posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 4:48pm

All I can say is DAMN. I once again have been proven correct in making you one of my favorite authors for Harry Potter fan fiction. So far this story has been kick ass and I can't wait for the chapters to come.

Great work,

james

The Seeker posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 4:39pm

It's hard to focus on just a few of the scenes, since the entire chapter was praiseworthy. Nonetheless, here are some of the highlights for me.

You're showing the girls - Daphne, Astoria, Romi and Hermione - evolving into forces of their own, while they continue to circle and learn from Harry. It's tough to show progression, but you're doing an exceptional job, which these wonderful characters deserve.

We're getting to know Victor (especially), Fleur and a somewhat diffferent but still highly appealing Cedric on a much deeper level. The flying scene was memorable, as were the conversations in the Great Hall and more so in the smithy.

You're descriptions of Harry's smithy work continue to be highly involving and technically interesting. This chapter added the zen like quality the work brings to both Harry and those observing him (some too closely, according to a certain boyfriend). This is a very nice touch and makes me wonder what your hobby is (beyond being a or maybe the premier HP fan fic writer) so you can bring those insights to this story.

Since you defined the cute, cuddly, charming and precocious Gabrielle, it was nice to see her as an over-the-top brat. Hey, the kid has everything and is eight, so it makes sense she'd be a brat at this point. Kudos to Fleur and you for handling her demands so easily.

The Death Eater scene was breathtaking in its eloquence and brutality. The descriptions were precise and your brevity appreciated. What an amazing way to show the genius of Harry's armour.

You've shown an affinity for house elves before, but the relationships Harry has built with them have gone beyond anything you've done before. While the relatioinships are noteworthy and fun, it is the attitude shown by Harry and others who have been influenced by his actions that make this thread so appealing. Treat people well, and the world opens up to you. Wonderful philosphy.

Magic is magic! Thank you for that! That belief is at the center of my thoughts on magic, so it was very nice to see someone of your caliber exploring in such beautiful terms how simple this complex gift is and how it should be utilized. The antithesis is the blatant control the purebloods through the Ministry have used to limit the usages and accessability of magic. Nicely skewered there!

Hermione's revelation was also a highlight. Nice touch showing her epiphany.

You might say I liked this chapter quite a lot, but it actually was well beyond that. Thanks for all you do for us, and to Kokopelli and Luan for their help on this story, especially while K works on his own fic, Conquest.

- The Seeker

motherjenjen posted a comment on Sunday 26th October 2014 4:36pm

I loved this. So fantastic. I love the psychological aspect of harry's armor. And a very fitting end for bella. I cant wait for next week for another chapter of this but ive gotta say im a bit sad that the next chapter of dawn is still so dar away. Dawn is one of my favorite fics ever and youre withholding my fix. BUT this fic is catching up to dawn very quickly with how much I like it. Youre absolutely brilliant. MJ