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Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 2:43am

That was a fun chapter in a lot of ways and 'twill be interesting to see where the Daphne/Fleur relationship goes, where Podska goes, and how some of hte other aspects develop. It appears that Harry may well have commissions booked well into the future before he finishes Hogwarts, and Tom. I'm looking forward to meeting more of Viktor's family as well as the various events still ahead in the Tournament.

HopelessFan posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 1:06am

Thanks for the update! Sorry to hear about the funeral.

I'd write more, but its 3am

noylj posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 12:45am

What the HELL is Amelia's problem? They AKd Harry. It seemed that he killed those who tried to kill him first. The whole wizarding world is full of bleeding heart crazies.

red jacobson posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 12:45am

Very nice chapter, and Podska does sound like a lot of fun. I'm glad that Fleur was open to Daphne's ideas, and I especially loved the way that Daphne got through to Harry when he was hurting. You've created, in Derek and Cress, parents that almost equal Malcom and Grouch Parkinson in their love and support for Harry, and I'm really enjoying the relationship between them.

I also had to chuckle at Astoria's daydreaming, and wondering if Romi was just as interesting? *GRIN*

See you next week

Red

myredturtle posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 12:13am

That was really sweet, I liked Daphne's conversation with Fleur. And I'm enjoying your Dobby as well. Thanks for abother great installment!

Jason9 posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2014 11:54pm

Really enjoying this story, and it's great to get such regular updates!

brad posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2014 3:25am

This chapter really worked for me, for several reasons.

For starters, I got a really good 'Iron Man' feel out of this one (I assume I'm supposed to do so? :-)) Harry building a new set of armour for the circumstances, striding along the bottom of the lake ... the idea/image worked nicely.

Secondly, the bouncing boots scene was just plain fun. It didn't go overboard or over-length but I could almost see it happening. Good stuff.

And then the Killing Curse attack was quite a shock. And the scene with Lily was lovely.

- “Because we could have killed Voldemort, but I decided it was more important that we ruin his reputation beforehand.”

Good one. So glad he pointed that out.

- “Neither of us wants to be above the other… yet.”

Wondering what will be the outcome of this Crush Competition ... although you've said there's no romance in this story?

Look, I have an easy solution for you, one that avoids the sundering of Astoria's and Romilda's friendship. (You can see this coming, can't you?) GIVE HARRY TO HERMIONE. See, problem solved! Happy to help.

Great chapter, thanks!

Celebrithil posted a comment on Thursday 30th October 2014 10:23am

I really like this story, especially the new take on Dumbledore's mistakes and reasoning. Same goes for Fudge and Madam Bones, it changes from the usual "completely corrupt" vs "incredibly perfect" usual tale.

Romi and Tori also are a welcome spin on canon characters, and their relatives are awesome (especially Derek!).

I do have a problem with one big part of your story, though: swords and armours. Because, yes, magic is magic, but suspension of disbelief only gets you so far. Part of it sort-of okay, explainable with the generic "it's magic" excuse, like the first armour design with the claws that his sword would tangle in, and the gauntlets that makes it difficult to grab something, nevermind a sword, nevermind a broadsword with both hands. Or the composition of his armour, which makes him a very skilled craftsman, but not a smith (who works with metal, not bone or ebony, even magical). Or Harry not bothering with tempering the blades after quenching them when he makes the knives in chapter 6. I can even accept Daphne standing on tip toe in the armour if the height difference is really big, though the only thing she might possibly be "intimate" with are the cuisses.

Others, though, are just screaming "I didn't do my research".

- Chapter 4: “It’s a full tang,” Harry said, “which means that it’s a single piece of steel worked into shape." ...which extends to the full length of the handle. Harry's said to be a good smith now, he's got to know that it would only be a partial tang otherwise. I almost put this with the sort-of okay things, but then realized that some of your readers were probably just going to take your word for it.

- The broadsword again: the position you describe (his sword in both hands, waist high, the blade pointing past his shoulder) is not a very comfortable position to take with a broadsword (that kind of sword: http://www.philamuseum.org/collections/permanent/212015.html?mulR=513045614|1 or, with a smaller hilt (and weight): http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/27924?rpp=30&pg=1&ft=broadsword&pos=8 ). It would be a LOT easier with an arming sword ( http://collections.glasgowmuseums.com/starobject.html?oid=154400 ), which also goes better with the knight theme. I understand that a basket-hilted sword shows off his smithing skills more than an arming sword, but it's just not practical in this case.
And now, the part that pushed me to write to you, also known as "are these Aurors invalids or is Harry the worst smith ever", also known as "swords are NOT supposed to be heavy, for God's sake!".

Yes, I mean the sword lifting scene in chapter 6.

"Harry lifted his sword, and held it at eye height. The tip wavered a bit, but he concentrated and made it still. After fifteen seconds, he lowered the sword, and handed it to the first Auror. She was about five and a half foot tall with pink hair in a pixie cut. She had a friendly smile on her face. “Lift,” he ordered.

She did, and then struggled to hold it up properly. “Crikey, this weighs a tonne!”

“Pass it on,” Harry said.

She did, to a larger Auror. “Give it a shot, Shack,” she added.

The Auror’s eyes widened as he lifted it into position, but could only keep it there for a few seconds."

I like swords, and I use them. I'm also a 156cm woman who's not particularly fit. But I know what a sword weighs, and the answer is: not a lot. Unless we're going with a gigantic Zweihänder - which isn't the case here - 2 kg is really pushing the limit already: http:// jwma.ejmas.com /articles/2005/jwmaart_dawson_0205.htm . So the idea that a grown (wo)man would actually struggle to hold a sword is position is very, very strange to me. But I got a bit curious at that point, and I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt: maybe you'd tried this at home, and had taken the position into account? After all, holding a sword when you're moving it, like in a spar, is almost ridiculously easy, but holding it in the same position will be more difficult.

So I tried it. I didn't have a broadsword on hand because I'm not very 16th century. I had an arming sword, but some broadswords can be heavier than the one I have. So I picked up my longsword (this one, if you want a look at the length, weight, balance, etc.: http://www.albion-swords.com/swords/albion/nextgen/sword-medieval-earl-xviiia.htm ), and extended my arm to hold it at eye level. I lasted 1 minute and 24 seconds. That's from a unathletic, smallish 29 years old woman without any prior experience in doing this, because that's not one usually does with a sword.

So, unless Tonks and Shackebolt are invalids that shouldn't have been allowed out of bed (and one would wonder how they even got to Hogwarts if they're that ill), or Harry is a very strong but awful smith who sharpens railroad bars a bit and calls them swords, this scene just isn't possible. And italso doesn't fit with Romi talking about her knife later: “It’s about fifteen percent lighter,” Romilda stated, “but more importantly, the balance is right,", which seems to indicate that Harry does know that weight and balance are important in a blade.

Now, what would be possible would be to drop the "can't even lift it" from the Aurors but emphasize the "perfectly still" part of when Harry's holding the sword. That I didn't manage completely - the tip was indeed moving a bit, and a bit more after the first 30 seconds. Or you could claim that Harry magically increased the weight of the sword to improbable levels before doing this. But please, please don't go around pretending that swords are heavy. They're not. If you can't lift them with your left pinkie, there's a problem.

And armour isn't really that heavy either. I'm not saying it's light, it's just not as heavy as people seem to commonly believe. The load of a modern soldier seems to be heavier, and it's not necessarily well-distributed on the body, like plate. What Shack and Tonks need is endurance training, because that's what suffers when you're wearing armour.

(And it's just "mail" (or "maille"), not "chain mail".)

Sorry for the rant, especially since I am really enjoying this story and haven't reviewed it before. Please don't take this in any other way that you would take a native Bulgarian speaker offering corrections on something if Viktor was speaking in his native language in the story. If you do have a question concerning the topic (or French), don't hesitate to tell me, I'd be glad to help.

Thank you for writing such entertaining stories!

brad posted a comment on Thursday 30th October 2014 6:39am

> He didn’t think that mentioning that his type at the moment was “female” and “boobs” and after the last day, “his age” would help him achieve his goal.

One HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER satisfies these criteria!!! I'm just sayin'.

:-)

> Astoria felt like puberty chose that exact moment to kick in, as Harry sat up, showing that whatever else he wore in bed, it didn’t come with a shirt.

The 'Harry is suddenly Adonis' is a bit hard to take ... even in a story that includes elves, magical goblets and super!armour. Did you give an explanation that I missed? Did Harry grow up when he unleashed his magic? Pre-smithy-workouts?

> “I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, hereby formally apologise to Harry James Potter for not securing the Goblet of Fire properly.

Wow, that's a first. A recalcitrant Dumbledore! You don't see that in every story.

brad posted a comment on Thursday 30th October 2014 5:26am

You had me worried for a while there that you were going to have Hermione estranged from Harry, and I was ready to curse Romilda for stopping her from going right after Harry as she had in the canon.

So I was quite relieved to read that she caught up with Harry shortly after. Thank goodness, this story would still have Harry and Hermione getting together and pairing up and getting married and --

> That said, there is no romance involving Harry in this. A couple of side characters do get together, but Harry doesn't.

Wait, what? Oh, poo.

The jokes about Daphne were honestly quite funny. As is the dynamic between the two kids. 'The Gypsy and the Brain' ... sounds familiar, like a cartoon I used to watch. :-)

> In the corner of her eye, Ron looked like he was fuming, and she found that she didn’t care.

What she said. Sorry, Ron.

No, wait, I'm not sorry. :-)

> Hermione rushed around the table, and hugged Harry.

Awww. One of the best lines.

A good start to the story, thanks!

dawnstrider posted a comment on Tuesday 28th October 2014 4:49am

Fantastic chapter, I look forward to reading this weekly. I'm curious how Voldemort and the other DEs will react to this, given his willingness to abandon and adapt his plans as they go pear-shape. I'd say it's likely that they'll adapt into using blasting/bludgeoning or area damage instead of killing/cutting. I love the way you portray Gabrielle as well, the maturity from Hope was a breath of fresh air and the fresh child-like driven behaviour in HEA. Like in canon, Harry will always be her - in this case, literal - knight. Anticipating Castles in the sky there as well, I haven't seen many stories that tackle the upper echelons of British Muggle Politics and the Royal Family. Thanks for the enjoyable read.

Fozzie Bear posted a comment on Tuesday 28th October 2014 3:21am

Dang. Just skimmed the chapters again and I realized that yes, I did indeed miss something. This is why I need to re-read chapters when there's a hiatus like this between parts, otherwise I miss stuff and get confused. Sorry for having doubted you. I enjoyed the chapter and am enjoying the story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Fozzie Bear posted a comment on Tuesday 28th October 2014 3:17am

I don't want to be an ass, so I'll ask not complain--did I miss something or is Sirius still alive somewhere and Moody's actions (hiding Pettigrew) have just meant it will be that much harder to declare his innocence? Last I remember was a conversation where Harry tells Sirius that he's going to stop hiding and while the Triwazarding Tournement is dangerous he could concentrate better if Sirus stayed safe where he is.

So did I miss something?

hpfanscs posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 7:26pm

Harry with his armor is very, very scary. I'm glad to see it used to such effect.

Stormwatcher posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 6:42pm

Unbelievable. Death Eaters pissing themselves. New magic. Fantastic. Great work. Looking forward to the next chapter.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 6:01pm

Harry is going to be torn up over the killing of the DEs, but he will get through it and be even stronger...much like the weapons and armor he tempers. I don't think Harry will ever really be lonely with the elves that he has befriended being around.

jchangpa posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 4:18pm

I have to thanks you. Story is getting better as every new chapter pop up. thanks.

rgshea96789 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 3:32pm

Awesome! From the take off, it seems that Harry will fly without a broom.

tcl7189 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 8:21am

Another great chapter...poor Harry is going to need a few hugs!!

TheWickedTruth posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 7:31am

Great chapter, can't wait for more.