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Celebrithil posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 6:02pm

My favourite moments in this chapter were how Daphne comforted Harry, showing that, however much of a badass he is, he's still vulnerable; the question and resulting advice about Sirius between Harry and Derek and Cressida; and how you handled the Horcurx. You could have taken a shortcut and just have Harry curse him in the most humiliating way he could find with Romilda and Nadyia, but instead of taking the easy road, you set it up to still (potentially) have an awesome final confrontation.

I hope Wednesday went well for you.

Patches posted a comment on Thursday 6th November 2014 9:50am

This is a little sad in the beginning. Harry was really upset about the battle he just had and the lives he had to take. I'm so glad that the elf told Daphne that Harry needed her and why. Daphne fills a special place in Harry's life. She is truly filling the position of a sister for him. She really loves Harry for himself and for the role he has in her life. That is very well done. I really like the way the other girls handled the fact that Daphne was able to help Harry when he needed it and the rest also have their roles to fill. Very well done. I really like the interaction between Daphne and Fleur. It actually made sense though I usually don't like gay relationships. This one seems right to me. I will see how it developes. Augusta making an alliance with Harry made sense too. She is very old school and this is a great arrangement for her and Neville in relationship to Harry. Moody is a piece of work in himself. You portrayed him perfectly except I find it hard to imagine Moody saying "ooo, ooo, me, me!" to anything. It works here though. The Podska game was great. I can almost see all 6 of them bouncing around the field in all kinds of ways. A very believeable magical game. I especially like the way that Victor handled the press. Harry's handling of Skeeter with the elves was perfect. Thanks for writing. p

sanbeegoldiewhitey posted a comment on Tuesday 4th November 2014 12:58am

Very, very good chapter. The best parts were Harry's platonic shower scene with Daphne and the Podska game. I felt bad for Tori and Romi. They really wanted to win.

sanbeegoldiewhitey posted a comment on Tuesday 4th November 2014 12:32am

You made Daphne as a gay woman. Brilliant because if she was straight, she will be a threat to Astoria and Romilda in winning Harry. I hope Harry never has to choose between Tori and Romi. And please don't make a sad ending where the reason Harry does not have to choose was because one of the girls died.

bkfriend posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2014 7:42pm

Hi,

Like Jbern you too have now created a new sport. Also, like Jbern it is an enjoyable one. Thank you for enriching my entertainment time!

Brian

Renzo7 posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2014 4:26pm

As always, excellent work. You have such incredible talent, that every chapter has my mood swinging along with the character's.

Podska was fun! I enjoyed reading the game and the interactions. I found it very appropriate that Harry asked Dobby to stay for a while so he could also comment. Getting Skeeter ejected was brilliant! I laughed so hard at that, as well as the "will I get ejected..." from the other reporter.

Your writing has always been incredibly addictive to me. Hope, Hogwart's Dawn, White knight, Grey queen, Best Man, Blue Steel, Perfect Slytherins... You have so many wonderful stories. In Best Man, you stated that Harry/Fleur was your pairing of choice. I hope you have something planned with that ship, because it's one of my favorites, too, and I can see Daphne's got dibs here :P. (I also recall you saying this story wouldn't have Harry paired up). In case you aren't planning on writing a Harry/Fleur story, would you mind recommending a few? I've read many, but most don't have the character depth I have grown accostumed to with your works.

My condolences on your loss (regarding the funeral you will attend). I hope you find strength with family and friends in this challenging moment. Big hug from Honduras!

FeNo posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2014 12:20am

Well first of all: this was grandiose. Very emotional, almost to the amount that the backlash from "feeling" the emotions you're reading about was tiring me out. I guess it's not much better when you write this and it all takes place inside your head?

The scenes with Daphne and Derek were great. Harry is growing and maturing at an enormous rate throughout the whole story and yet it still feels pretty natural for all the weird things happening to him that would be not... I also liked the little Talk Hermione had with Romi... "I would go insane", indeed.

As for Podska... well it might have been nice to deliver the english translation with the bulgarian name and i'm a bit disturbed that the sport you came up with is even more athletic than Quidditch (yeah i know people usually sneer at guys sitting on a broom and calling that sport, but i can't help but think of driving a motorcycle through a 3D parcours at top speed and not having road friction to help with the steering and holding on path... it must take a lot of body work to keep those small twigs under control and do tight spins, climbs and whatever nots. No wonder only a miniscule amount of people even try to play the game for earnest.) and ultimately far more demanding than the older sport.

They really should do something to create "entrance"/ amateur level sporting challenges like the first game of "Tag" they tried out when Harry first made the boots. And maybe even make different kinds of boots for the different levels of adventure people would seek... not everyone will be able to master a firebolt after all, so why should all boots be the same when 90% of the potential customers never will be able to use the top level abilities to their fullest extent? and 100 yard high jumps through the neighborhood could frighten a lot of people regardless of the safety procedures built into the boots.

I'm not saying Podska is a bad idea, just that it needs a bit of refinement to make it playable if you don't have the world's elite sports stars at hand to try a quick game....

A similar feeling creeps into the story whenever you go that much overboard with the praise for Harry's products... yeah i understand it, he is a natural and he gives his all whenever he starts up his smithy. Yet he only did this for what? November to March? five months? which would make him a dedicated and talented noob but still a rookie in everything related to smithing. Where are the things he does not succeed in producing the first time? Where are the things he still is not good enough to try? Declaring every new attempt at smithing something into a work of beauty and have people lining up to buy "something like that" may seem a nice idea on paper, but if you sit down and think a bit about it it just elevates the poor boy into very elated heights, from which a drop would be very hurtful. Where can he still grow if you have him make beautiful, useful and nigh to indestructables items after just having learned how to swing a hammer? It feels rushed and too much too soon when reading it.

Would it really have hurt to make his gift to the Greengrasses a fireplace screen from those warped iron stuff he thinks about when confronted with a staircase he thinks he could replicate? Would it have hurt to make it nice to look at yet not quite perfect and with some minor quirks that future attempts probably will work out with more experience?

Harry now has such a strong personal life with a wonderful supporting group almost like a tight knit family around him, he really does not need to become more superman than superman, better at armoring than Iron Man and better at smithing than Vulcanus/Hephaistos himself... I get that it is not just a hobby but his future profession and something he can live out his ambitions in without ever being rueful or in doubt about it... But he also has got a century to become godlike in his chosen profession and not granting him any faults or imperfections hurts the character as much as the other factors of your story have been good to him.

Sorry for the long ranting, but i guess that really wanted out of my system. I still love the story and your two little heartbreakers are amongst the cutest and most adorable pairing ideas for Harry i#ve ever seen in fanfiction. It's just that some things still tend to drive me nuts when reading them and putting them into context when other things are happening around them... i can't help myself there.

joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 9:42pm

Some extra funny moments, like when Moody got all eager-monkey with the AK.

Entertaining chapter. Thanks for the update.

Wolfric posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 9:17pm

Great chapter. Can I get an elf as well? Thanks for writing. W.

Sanabalis posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:56pm

Your writting is absolutely brilliant! Every chapter is, to me, perfect! I often re-read your stories, and always eagerly await updates! I hope your muse helps you write lots and lots and lots of stories more! And faster! :P

Michael Cornfoot posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:46pm

No mention at all about any weasley. I know theyre not friends with Harry anymore but Im surprised that you havent mentioned Ron starting anything with Harry or Ginny starting anything with Romi or Tori.

Also, in regards to those two girls, I would suggest that both end up with Harry. It would be the easiest way to go I suppose and would be a good way of confusing Harry and him having to learn about unusual relationships. Im sure we both know that Harry has enough love to give and would be more than willing.

Lisagrace posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:39pm

Fun chapter, enjoyed this and the game. Love Dobby's Elves speech.

Tim Sullivan posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:37pm

A great chapter as usual. I was highly intrigued by some of the hints at background in Dobby's speech to that reporter.

The Seeker posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:03pm

The scene with Daphne and Harry, at the start of the chapter, was wonderfully described, especially how well each knows the other and can provide the emotional support needed. Also, the snap shots of Daphne and Fleur, Astoria and Romi, especially in their x-rated thoughts, and of Hermione were written with your usual flair and attention to detail and much enjoyed.

Harry's actions and those of the ICW, along with the conversation between Harry, Albus and Mad Eye showed we're now on the final approach to the end of the story. Funny feeling, since I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing this could last much, much longer.

Harry's conversation with Cress and Derek (can't even type his name without smiling - he's an amazing, one of a kind character and a brilliant creation) was spot on, with the parents going to the crux of the problem and providing appropriate guidance. The topper, of course, was the Greengrass family crest, with the amazing reactions from Harry's surrogate parents. Back at school, the various reactions were entertaining, especially Astoria's incredibly cute business hat, and Viktor's comment about eliminating the middle man was hilarious.

You've got to license Podska and put teams together! I loved how you had the elves create the game and just as interesting, the playing field. Plus, it would be easier for HP fans to replicate than Quidditch. It was a very fun game, and you didn't surprise me at all by having the Blue team win, because we know for Harry it was the fun of playing, a chance to be with good friends and do something that put the elves' abilities center stage.

Your comments about Harry's relationship with Sirius made me think that his relationship with Molly Weasley was similar to that. Harry wanted a family he could identify with so badly and ended up bonding with the Weasleys to the point where Molly considered him another son, despite not having seen Harry very often at all through the first half of his time in the wizarding world. It applies even more strongly in Sirius' case.

Another excellent chapter. I hope all goes well next week and that the funeral is a positive experience. - The Seeker

tcl7189 posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 7:36pm

Another awesome chapter.. Can't wait for the next one!!

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 6:41pm

Another great chapter. This time I especially liked Harry's remorse and how he was helped through it. Well done and thanks.

Pennywise posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 6:31pm

Awesome story so far.

Slytherin66 posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 5:07pm

A good oath by Daphne it was direct and honest.

It's extremely rare for anyone to formally apologise to Harry in 4th year never mind Dumbledore who was a poor Headmaster still it will be interesting to see what happens at Hogwart's. I wonder if the Hogwart's Divination teacher will get the sack.

I like how Harry is Greater and Albus is only Great. I hope House elves collect chocolate frog cards or make their own to collect.

Daphne with a hobby is a rare treat few people in Hogwart's seem to have hobbies.

Hannah was someone who thought Harry the Heir of Slytherin he is better off not dealing with her.

A house elf being asked their opinion would be something new.

A gypsy magic user makes sense but is something I have never come across in fanfiction so cheers for that.

A good idea to be armed by non-magical means the magical world is a dangerous place.

I loved how fast Dumbledore can move when he wants to. The Basilisk not being harvested never made any sense to me in the books the venom and fangs were needed and the carcass worth something.

Magical entertainment seemed rather lacking the cinema would be hard to resist and could be educational for pure bloods.

What was said by those going down the slide was one of the best bits of the chapter very funny.

I had wondered about Ginny in all this any hopes and dreams regarding Harry are gone now.

Good thinking regarding the horcrux much can be done with hair and blood a soul fragment lying about is not very wise.

" We get Malfoy to do a song and dance act proclaiming his love for Voldemort’s trouser snake." very funny to picture. I hope something is done to Snape as well.

"Salazar had plans, but never had the time to implement them." a refreshing change from the fully equipped chamber. I doubt Salazar planned to be banished from the place he founded.

I am very pleased the Dursley's will be punished.

A good point “A lot of kids do it if they are in serious danger.” Apparition would take some explaining by a muggle.

I liked “This wasn’t up for discussion,” as often it seems everything is discussed especially with Hermione around.

A nice end to the chapter.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 3:51pm

great that Daphne helped Harry

Slytherin66 posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 3:36pm

A great chapter.

It's good to see Romilda involved in a fic as she is very overlooked character.

A nice twist regarding Daphne that is very rare.

I liked the banter between Romilda and Astoria.

I wonder if Ron will be in Hogwart's a History as the "smelliest Weasley"

A great line “A bull in a china shop is an analogy, not a guide line,”

Hagrid is not a good teacher even when he loves the subject a bit like Snape.

“Ears of a puma, that one,” I wonder if that is a sign for an animagus form.

Well put "Mum married him in a fit of lust, but he does love her back, and he tries" that is how I viewed Fleur/Bill in the books.

An interesting point every tournament would expose loopholes or clever solutions to each task. I wonder if people died in the tournament because it was made to difficult and the magical world loves a spectacle.

I am glad there is someone Snape can't bully and deeply thankful Harry and Hermione are just friends as a couple they would not work she is too bossy and the pairing has been done to death. Still a fic with Hermione in the background is best as she tends to take over or do all of Harry's thinking for him.

Hermione is acting like a bully like the Dursley's demanding things of Harry.

I like Romila I hope Harry gets lots of hugs in this story he needs them. I am pleased someone stood up for Romila and Astoria nobody has done that for Harry since his mother and father died. Even Sirius let him down.

Good to know about blood use in magic and about Blood Quills.

Curses are a very overlooked aspect of magic in fanfics we know the DADA job is but nothing else is ever said or done. I like the idea of Wormtail suffering very much.

Harry's fame is a powerful weapon he squandered in the books.

I do like Romilda's spirit and what she said about the House of the brave.

A house elf party would be wild I think. I wonder who Kreacher gets magic from?

S.P.E.W has been stopped well done Harry. Maybe the free elves could be convinced to help Harry out when it comes to dealing with people like Riddle, Albus and the Dursley's. One elf is formidable an army is unstoppable. The insults to Albus were fantastic I doubt he has been spoken to like that since he was young.

I always wondered if a person could renounce their house thanks for that detail. I am glad Minerva got a shock she is a terrible head of house.

The Headmaster and English Ministry in trouble is always fun. Dumbledore losing his temper was good too as it rarely happens. I bet Umbridge was a terrible student. Albus is full of surprises I did not expect him to reflect and change his ways.

A great line " almost encouraging his enemies to work against him, so that he could defeat them in other ways."

I liked finding out what is going on in the other houses.

A brilliant line for Snape " He still might have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids."

I am pleased about Moody I always liked him and thought he deserved better than what JKR had planned for him.

Thanks for doing something with Astoria and Romilda. A pity about no romance as I think Harry could do with some love in his life to make up for the lack of it growing up but Hogwart's might not be the best place for him given his fame. For helping the elves I expected Dobby to get Harry a Veela wife. It would be in the elves interest for Harry to have many magically powerful children just in case it take a while for them to totally free themselves.