t_gebhardt posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 9:27am

So you have Sybill Trelawney as the evil mastermind and true seer behind the scenes? Well that is a novel approach, as far as I know.

Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 9:16am

Well... That went as well as can be expected. There is, after all, no enemy weaker than the one who has come to believe he is invulnerable and, therefore, has no need to try. This fault has clearly brought Snape and Malfoy low.

Malfoy... well, after casting and unforgivable, he has nothing to lose, so he will be back (probably for the last time) with an idiotically spectacular attempt to kill Harry and/or Gabby. If Snape doesn't have an embolism and end up in St. Mungo's Long Term Care ward, I will be a surprised man.

Who would have ever thought that Trewlaney would be the main threat? Such as she is. She is aware that Harry is a national hero and, as a Veela, Gabby's mating to him has all the legal power of a marriage, isn't she? Maybe not. After all, doing the honourable thing is foreign to her so she has probably got a problem understanding why anyone else should do it.

Both the duel and the Quidditch match were very well-written, not sacrificing dynamism for detail. Looking forward to the wrap-up.

BenRG's Rating: 8/10

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 8:37am

Oh, wow. That was great. Wonderful action, story progresses, you got two Quidditch games in (it was wonderful getting the great Griffindor team back together!) The duel was fantastic! I love it when Draco gets his nose rubbed in it. And his own quidditch team, interesting.

Lee Jordan's commentary - excellent. Harry's manipulations - perfect.

Evil foreshadowing! Great!

Thanks so much for writing this.

Tom A.

Terry Chang1 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 8:36am

it took a while and was worth it. i'd rather read a polished piece of writing. i'd also like to say that the beta didn't really take very long. it's not like 6 months went by before you said it was done and the betas finished with it. geez, i'm married and have a baby on the way, i barely make it to my computer every week as it is.

love the story. that's for granted though. really like observation that Susan made. Love the idea on the new team being formed. very curious as to what Snape's doing to Dumbledore. here's to the next chapter.

Paul Dueck posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 8:29am

Congrats on another great chapter.

The only (useful) comment I can make is that at certain parts, I.E. Ron's fairy tale speech, the dialogue is a little stilted. I have noticed this a lot in your work, and it does not bother me all that much. It just seems that in certain areas the story in does not flow organically, instead of allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions about the characters, they relapse into something different, into being a medium of the author to speak.

I would argue that that kind of synthetic idea insertion only occurs in a few kinds of places in your stories. First, you seem to insert it when you are talking about the love of your characters for each other, or their strength (magical or personal), or their craftiness. Often times the dialogue is totally unnecessary, as you set up the story in a way that the reader could draw those conclusions on their own.

Those segments of the story are not bad, just awkward, as it feels like the characters are explaining the story inside of the story. You are still one of the best authors in the entire HP Fan-fiction community and I love your stories.

Please update soon

Paul Dueck

Tumshie posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 8:20am

Just to add to the debate, 'you've got another think coming' is probably correct,yes it's bad grammar but so much spoken English is. Rendered another way it is, "If that's what you think, well think again"

Tumshie posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 8:12am

What can I say,

We are not worthy,We are not worthy,We are not worthy,We are not worthy,We are not worthy...

A fantastic addition to your story, when a story is as good as this it is a reflection of the time taken to write it and tweak it until the author is happy with it.

Who cares how long the updates take if we get quality writing like this

Quizer posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 8:11am

Whoohoo! Finally!

Heh. This story is still as fun as ever. I liked the duel best, there are a lot of creative ideas in there. Harry starting his own Quidditch team is a fun idea, too, and I didn't see that one coming. I guess that one more chapter will finish this story. Keep up the good work!


Quizer

bluephoenixfire33 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:56am

Absolutely fantastic!!! I wanted to be able to give a balanced review, but all I can say is WOW! That was brilliant and completely worth the wait. Thank you so much for your wonderful work.

patsh posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:53am

This continues to be my favorite piece of fan-fiction. Absoluetly wonderful.

"I don’t want the world, Gabby," he whispered. "I just want you."

Made me sigh like a hopeless romantic.

andy redfearn posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:52am

fantastic as always, HOPE that chapter 10 isnt months in the making.

Harry2 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:45am

good story. i know that the next part will be as good. trelawney is going to get her just desert as well as the ministry and the prophet. a) it isn't an affair and b) she is and adult and an assistant professor. this next chapter will be very interseting.

Carnivean posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:43am

Hey another wonderful chapter, this story is one of the best on the web :).

An unique pairing with a good background story, a believable plot and a lot of humor mixed in, i like it :).

The Resident posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:41am

Thank you very much for another wonderful chapter. I think I have run out of superlatives to use to describe how much I enjoy your stories. They are carefully written to pass on the full intent of the story to the readers (me anyway). -grin- No wasted words, full of emotion, just perfect. You're one one of the reasons I don't try to craft a story myself. You set the bar so high as to be unreachable. I've only written 4 pieces; a poem and 3 short stories (1 BtVS and 2 Original) and then only when my muse takes over and I don't have a choice. I eagerly await anything you deign to post. Keep up the great work.

Elfguard48 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 7:23am

Great chapter. Love the way Malfoy was toyed with.Sybill isn't thinking. I cannot wait for the next chapter. Hope life treats you well. I'm glad HArry truely loves Gabrille.

Lira posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 6:26am

Brilliant chapter! Loved the duel and the teacher's Quidditch match!

Just something minor I noticed: "What bought this on?" Aimée asked - should be "brought".

*sighs* Can't wait to see Trelawny getting what's due her!!! Stupid hag!

ecocd posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 5:58am

We have to wait a while, but then we get a giant chapter. Sooooo good. It was a rather Quidditch-heavy chapter which isn't necessarily my cup of tea, but it was well-written.

"Good idea," Gabrielle said with a nod. "What do you do with Bill?"

-- absolutely hilarious

I almost feel sorry for Trelawney. Almost.

Maybe someone's mentioned this already, but as far as the "you've got another think/g coming" debate, in a sense, both you and your betas were right. A quick Google search results in the general consensus that original quote was something like, "If that’s what you think, you’ve got another think coming." On the other hand, a goodly amount of people's exposure to the phrase comes from Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" on their 1982 album Screaming for Vengeance. I'm a "thing" person myself and I'm glad you stuck to your guns on that one. :)

Darkness posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 5:54am

I just love Draco-bashing! There's just something satisfying in seeing Draco and Snape totally humiliated in front of a crowd. Great chapter.

I hope Harry and Gabby decide to make their Bond public knowledge before Trelawney sends off those photos. I don't get why she hates Harry so much though.

Bobmin356 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 5:19am

Gawd I have been waiting for this chapter forever. Now... where's the next one hmmmm? :)

Excellent chapter.

Smack your betas. "Got another think coming"? That doesn't even make any sense. Just because they saw some other author abuse the language is no reason to propagate the mistake. It's THING, not think.

Carolyn1 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 5:09am

Thanx for the update. Keep up the good work.