DAUFahnder posted a comment on Tuesday 24th April 2007 4:40pm

WOW, as most of the times with your fics.

But I do have a Question:

Is "Goerte" a mistake? At first I thought I had misread.

BTW, It was a very good idea to not write the sex itself.

ichtys posted a comment on Tuesday 24th April 2007 12:46pm

Hi again Tim
I've re-read the story, and it is still a very good read. Also, I now have some idea of what you need to cover in the last chapters.
-The cause for Dumbledore's "madness". I noticed that he was described as happy during the Quidditch match. Was this to show that whatever effected him, didn't have any influence during the match?
-Finding Malfoy. I don't think we have seen the last of him yet.
-Dealing with the Prophet, they need to get a swift kick in the behind.
-Change the Minister (is that something you want to do in all your fics? I just recall you did it in TMW, prepared for Remus' election in WKGQ, and now in Hope you have an OC (I think) to fill that role.

As I said, it is still a very nice read, but I think you could do some things to improve stories of this kind in the future. (I'm sure you know the most of them, you have at least hinted at some of them.)

First of all you lack a powerful opposition to Harry. There is not enough tension and suspense in the story for it to be a true fairy-tale. Many fairy-tales has to put the hero through a whole lot of difficulties, before he wins the Princess. In this story, the Princess is already won, and the dragon guarding her is not a sleep, it is comatose. (I'm trying to say that Harry's opposition is somewhat tooth-less. There is no point in this story where the opposition is even close to have any influence on Harry's and Gabby's relationship. All the tension in their relationship is from the "inside".)

I also thinks you have made too many of the characters too perfect. The only one that makes a major mistake (beside Gabby's decision to "trick" Harry), was Hermione, when she decided to play along. Ron is mature, into politics. Gabrielle is (besides her one mistake) the perfect partner for almost any male. And Jean and Aimee is just the perfect parents to the perfect woman.

Another thing I think you have made too good/perfect is the bond between Gabrielle and Harry. Not only are they capable of finding each other, they can also read each others mind, and transfer power. And since Harry's power-level is very high, Gabrielle is also a very powerful witch.
I know that you described some of the negative side-effects as well, but in the large scope of things they disappear. Gabrielle is able to disobey a direct order from Harry, and though it causes her great pain, she is still able to do it.

I truly appreciate all the work you have put into this work, Tim, but as a story, this tale lacks some characters with faults, some bad decisions by the "good" side and some... well, something [i]more[/i]. As a reader I find it difficult to relate to the characters because they have no faults (or the faults they have are easily neglected). It looks like an escape to a happy utopia. I read that you are effected by what you write, and that is why you prefer to write happy stories. I'm not asking you to write Dark!Harry fics, I would just like to read a story has characters that I can relate to. Not only are Harry and Gabrielle very rich (something I can't relate to), but they also lacks the faults that make them human.

I hope you can use the above comments to do what we should all strive for: Improve from the place we are.

Thanks for sharing.
Regards Ichtys

Kalen Darkmoon posted a comment on Monday 23rd April 2007 7:20pm

Beautiful chapter! I am extremely happy that you are continuing this story. It is one of my very favorites. Harry deserves someone to truly love him for himself, not his fame/money/power and for him to love in return. He's been denied it most of his life thanks to Dumbledore placing him with the hateful Dursley's simply to protect his little weapon against Voldemort.

Your portrayal of what Harry wanted for a life partner in this story is exactly what I've been looking for - intelligent, loyal, strong, independent and passionate. If only my luck were as good as his. *sigh*

AnyaGrace posted a comment on Monday 23rd April 2007 6:51am

This story goes beyond anything that I expected when I first started reading it. I have enjoyed each chapter and I look forward to the next one! Thanks!
AnyaGrace

Manatheron posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 5:56pm

I am in Awe of this chapter, not just for the long awaited contents, (Though they were a VERY nice bonus) but for the sheer level of skill and intrigue you put into it. I have been something of a bookworm all my life, and I suppose I consider myself something of a connoisseur of the literary world, but I feel I need to tell you that I have rarely found something that managed to entrance me so much. I may have said it before, but you are an elite word smith, a Damn fine storyteller, and a credit to writers everywhere. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Manatheron

RhiannonMei posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 3:03pm

Wow... I love this story, as well as I love "This Means War". I think the Gabrielle/Harry ship is cute, although I'm not a very big fan of it, unless it is written extremely well, like it is written here. Thanks for a great ten chapters! I've really enjoyed reading this.

jaques posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 10:35am

wow. what more can i say. i's another great chapter. can't wait to read more.

freshwater posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 8:44am

Aye, yi yi, mama mia....I have the unmitigated nerve to offer "corrections" to the author and then post a review with typos and misspellings?!? My only excuse is that I was trying to BOLD the first two words of that review when I accidently hit the "submit review" button before I could proofread. Sorry.

Must add.....I LOVED the meeting between Skeeter and Trelawney....it caught me off guard, despite the fact that it made perfect sense once I read it.

I also LOVE your handling of Fred and George, as well as all of Harry's dialogue when he is flirting, flattering or just generally being charming and roguish. *sighs happily, fanning at slightly reddened cheeks**

Puh-leeeze tell me you'll be writing some R rated out-takes of their honeymoon....it's worth a life-time supply of treacle tart for you......**hint, hint**

freshwater posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 8:34am

Tell me there will be an out-take of that night. **glares in a manner scarily like Prof. McGonagall and with the determination of Dobby**

So, I only discovered this fabulous fic 3 days ago and have spent every spare minute reading up to this point. At first the idea of a practically-imperoused Veela as a life-partner for Harry was a bit hard to swallow. But as the plot has progress and the story --and ther relationship-- has developed, I can now see that you are providing our dear Harry with something to more than balance out the neglect, cruelty, suspicion and stress of his childhood and teen years (this may be my best run-on sentence ever!). You,sir, deserve the title "Mr.Subtlety".

As much as I have enjoyed this terrific work, I have occassionally run across some odd phrasings that you may want to correct someday. I have never before presumed to offer corrections to an author, so I hope that you will take this as a compliment, in that I only wish to assist in removing the minor ticks that may distract from it's brilliance (wow...I must be channelling your Harry as he flatters Olympe or Aimee! **grin**).

Anyway, in this chapter --although I can't locate it just now **pouts far less cutely than Gabby** the phrase about Harry : he radiated "unconscious" presence...or power or something like that. I'm sure what you meant was, not that his presences was unconscious, but that he "subconsciously" radiated a powerful presence.

By far my favorite odd-phrase occured just after Harry and Gabby's first swim at her home in France, when they all "ate lunch under a covered table" **snort**giggle** I still have the mental image of all these rich, powerful, sophisticated people sitting on the floor under a table draped with a large cloth!! Of course it is obvious that you meant that they had lunch on a covered portico or balcony, but still....**grin**

ahyanah posted a comment on Sunday 22nd April 2007 12:01am

nice

Kail posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 9:21pm

This is absolutely great! I really like the interactions between Harry and Gabrielle - you've really written her as independant yet totally submissive. Bravo!

There's just one thing that I'm sure you'be likely heard before: will you ever write the story of Harry taking down Voldemort that provides the backhistory for this fic? You've got several allusions and flashbacks to it, but nowhere that I've seen does it seem to be an actual fic.

Lionsgate posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 12:09pm

Hello my friend : let me first congratulate you whith being the author to some of the best ff storys ever written : and yes english isn't even my 2 nd. lang. , so i make a lot of mistakes ! ( and i do not have spelling controle ) But back to the issue : afher a year of waithing , i was verry ... I read the complete story again to be update , and this chap ( give or take 5000 words is just page filling ( i'am sorry , but a dinner pary whit no .. meaning ! I don't point that it is a complete waste , but it is not of the same high qualitty of the firts chaps. Please forgive me that i do not agree whith the other revuers but i don't find this chap. of the same high standart as the chaps before ! I had the same feeling whit ( this means war ) . Never aband story's for a long period , it is never good ... You lose focus ! Still i thank you for a very nice day ( as rereading this story is ). There are also some errors in the story line and ... but others dit point you to these ... Someone told me that a bribe ... ( i am a ... H/HR fan ... what abouth a 300.000 word love story ...... I can hope YES . thanks for everything and keep up the good work !!! ( Best regards Sigert )

Renzo7 posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 11:34am

Another part of a masterpiece, this is still one of my favorite stories, and is not IT because of it's inconsistent and delayed updates. It's good to know the next two are ready, I hope we won't have to wait as long for them. Keep up the good work and please find some inspiration to keep at it.

James Milamber posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 9:43am

Took you long enough, my friend! Well worth the wait, though. Now, hurry up and post the next two!

Speaking of which, I did notice the title of the next chapter happens to be my home city... good ol' Sydney. I'm curious how you've brought that into the story...as if I needed another reason to read the work of one of the Masters of FanFiction (Don't even try to deny it - you know you are!). I'll try not to nitpick details too much. :p

Eagerly awaiting your next masterpiece!

- JM

Ben10 posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 9:25am

YES! I love it! This is easily one of my favorite fics EVER.

Have you studied socialogy extensively or something? Because you are very good at describing the reactions of people in correlation to others (i.e. - at the danse club, and at the hotel).

Shea' Motsko posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 9:13am

I absolutely adore this story. It's the only Harry/Gabrielle story I've ever seen and when I saw the pairing I admit to being a little wary. I am *so* glad that I went ahead and read it anyway, you have made me a true believer!

There are so many issues that you handle with such a delicate touch; the age difference, the non-human laws in England, Harry's vast power & wealth, Albus' (& Hogwarts) steady decline & Englands habit of forgiving Death Eaters with money or political pull.

And the thread of romance growing between Harry and Gabrielle that is woven throughout everything else is just wonderful. I can barely wait for the next chapter. This story is definately one of my all time favorites!

Bethany posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 8:47am

Once again, wonderful. I loved the chewing out that Rita gave crazy old Trelawny, perfect. It's about time Rita smartend up about trying to go against Harry. Beautiful job on the love scene with Harry & Gabby, passionate and full of beauty.
I can't wait to see what you are going to do with the 2 remaining idiots (SS & DD).
Love what you do, thank you for sharing your talent with us.

swordchucks posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 7:04am

Amazing chapter. I especially liked the scene at the end, but I'm starting to wonder... is there anything that Veela power can't do? It seems to be the ultimate toolkit for Gabby when it comes to the condition of her body.

Thanks for picking this one back up!

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 21st April 2007 2:28am

Side note: If I remember correctly my "History of mathematics" lecture, Madame de Pompadour was the one who translated Isaac Newton's "Principia mathematica..." into French for a wider distribution.

nkorah posted a comment on Friday 20th April 2007 11:53pm

just a small slip:

On chapter three you said that Aimee was 'approaching he fifties'. This chapter she is over 65...

Anyways - a wonderful read!