Larry Lansday posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 1:25pm

Wonderful story, I don't know who was complaining about your new writing style but from my end it looks better and more thought out. I really like it and I will continue to read anything you post.

Thank you for sharing your world.

-Larry

zaxon posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 1:20pm

Nice work enjoyed reading this fic.

Philipe posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 1:18pm

I don't know what you mean. I liked it, perhaps more then the first chapter. I always thought that you're ability to interpret human emotion you're greastest strengh. Their motives, thoughts and rationalizations where always a great read.

Cheers and, as always, cursing you because i want to know what happens next.

lwj2 posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 12:55pm

I am one of those who enjoyed this story. As to your not being able to devote the time and effort you previously did to your stories, that's the way life goes, it is what it is. That you write as well as you do gives me an acute case of envy. Thanks for writing and sharing this and your other storiies.

Slytherin66 posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 12:46pm

A fantastic chapter I loved it.

The mirror of Dumbledore was good to have we don’t often find out about his every day routine and things like his robes. The mirror was a clever way to show Harry is missed but I think Dumbledore might miss his weapon against Riddle most of all. Still Penance is good for Dumbledore he can do some good although I doubt it will sway Harry at all.

A nice touch about the polyjuice Crouch Jr is not a potion master and the potion is tricky to make as well as time consuming. The man would be out of practice with magic as well.

I liked the rant of Hermione but am glad she is aware of her own guilt. The tears are so like her but its not often she has to face the fact she was wrong it would be a new experience for her one she would find hard to deal with.

A good point "Guilt was unique, in that sharing it with someone did not halve what you felt" I am pleased Minerva feels guilt as too often she avoids it by making excuses or Harry being too lenient.

Good to see Slughorn I always liked him I think his guilt has been with him a long time had he been there for Harry in first year things might have been very different. Slughorn would get Harry in the Slug Club, do a good deed for Lily and given the people Slughorn knows Harry would have had an easier life, potions would have been more fun too.

A nice gesture by Irma she does not often get the chance to do good or even be involved in events at Hogwart’s even when she would be good to know.

I loved what was said about the staff I think they all had expectations or bias towards Harry that was hard to live up to and very unfair. The magical world helped make Harry what he was by leaving him at the Dursley’s and the death of his parents. The magical world was not very welcoming as well for Harry.

Harry’s reputation is an important matter his reputation was hurt in first year and ruined in the second I don’t think it ever recovered making Harry life and the war much harder. I like the changes in Albus so far I think he was too forgiving and as a result people suffered but I like best that he knows Harry won’t care and the situation can’t be fixed only salvaged. I think Albus had plans he made far in advance and would struggle to adapt when his plans for apart, maybe because he was so busy.

A great word to use "succour" thanks for that its a word I have not come across in ages.

I am pleased the Enclave is sealed as people often try to force Harry to forgive or use emotional blackmail and it would be better for Harry not to deal with the people of Hogwarts and a good learning experience for them if they have to live with their actions towards Harry as an apology makes those who wronged Harry feel better rather than Harry I think.

It would be funny if Albus was an animagus and people thought he was a "Ravenous Bugblatter" I think Albus reads the Quibbler.

I deeply enjoyed what was said to the Gryffindor’s what was lost and the legacy they now have. While history is badly taught at Hogwart’s I think history is very important in the magical world the Gryffindor’s will have to live with their actions for generations I think. The house enjoyed the prestige and success Harry brought and yet treated him badly I am glad they lost all they gained. The ridged sticking to the rules seem very unlike the House I wonder if Hermione’s contribution was to use the rules to cast Harry out. I hope Hermione has a very hard time at school and in life for what she did to Harry. I hope Albus is mistaken in the part Hermione played as it would be unfair if she was totally innocent her reaction makes me think she did assist Ron in casting Harry out.

I think the Weasley’s will be expelled sooner rather than latter. I am pleased Harry can never be known as a Gryffindor as I would not put in past the magical world to try and rewrite history so they look better and their misdeeds forgotten.

The sob of Albus was a nice touch he would find being a disciplinarian very difficult. I liked the insight into how the wards work I wonder if Albus knew about the troll and the Dementor in the school.

Albus spoke well to the Slytherin’s they would be a tricky people to deal with I think only a Slytherin could understand a Slytherin. Thanks for the fate of Snape and addressing rumour as the Hogwart’s rumour mill was a major problem for Harry.

No lemon drops wow Albus must be serious.

Thanks for what was done to Mariette I am sure Albus enjoyed putting a member of the Ministry in their place as he would not like the Ministry telling him what to do in his school it sets a bad president. I am happy Luna might have an easier time of it at Hogwart’s as she was failed badly by the staff and Prefects. I wonder if Luna will also decide to go to another school now as well.

Albus showing his power was a nice touch as I think people forget just how powerful and formidable he is. The Ministry I think enjoys limiting the power of the magically powerful but in the end might makes right in the magical world.

A very Slytherin way to deal with Draco a pity Ron was not also followed. A very clever way to get Lucius off the Board he should never have been allowed on it after second year. I think Draco will be in big trouble and be put in his place or killed when he attends Durmstrang as for all his talk Draco is not really very cunning or skilled.

I do like the potential for the wards to eject people it makes good sense for school security.

A fantastic line "I can’t claim to know what irrelevant things you’re dealing with, I’ve been dealing with real problems."

Dumbledore no matter what he says would have made a good Slytherin he trapped Fudge nicely and simply. Pensive memories would require people to be very careful of what they say and do I wonder if Slytherin got his reputation for cunning by being able to get things done and never get in trouble.

I wonder if the Prophet disliked the influence the Ministry under Fudge had over it as it makes free press difficult and the slander of Albus and Harry has the potential to end in disaster for the paper. Libel laws in the magical world would are a bit of a mystery but they must exist or the great and the good would never be left alone.

A good line "If she actually turned up at work, he’d know that she was either innocent, or delusional."

I loved what Fleur said about Gabrielle and the special cuddle that was cute. I do feel a little sorry for Gabrielle she rarely gets to be with Harry when she is of age or really know him when she is young. The Enclave is amazing it makes sense for a Veela to want to go there. Harry never has a dog or goldfish. I wonder if there will be books about Harry for the Veela he would make good material for a story book and he would be good PR for the Enclave given how he loves it there and likes the Veela.

I bet Veela would be good at cuddling as they seem a friendly and tactile people. Cuddles might be more important than sex for some Veela.

I liked the understanding Dumbledore has of children as I think he would be good with kids and be liked by them given how he dresses and his manner. I wonder if Dumbledore was mobbed like Harry when he first defeated Gellert so needed to be good with people. Maybe the fame Albus experienced left a bitter taste in his mouth it would explain why he was so keen to ensure Harry was spared such a life for a while.

A good twist to the usual a spell to limit the allure would be wanted and needed by the Veela and non-Veela yet is not often mentioned in fanfics. I wonder how Albus knew such a spell maybe he learned it from the Flames as Lady Flamel could be a Veela or they helped with the protections of the enclave.

A Veela pout would be impressive thanks for what Fleur said I liked the insight into her. Conformation that a place in the Enclave is sought after not just by Gabrielle was good to know it makes sense a place to belong with people you understand or find attractive would be desirable.

Dumbledore empathic even little does explain why he is so good at politics and would be a good teacher. Maybe such emotional awareness comes with power Harry can be very caring at times, Riddle know how his followers feel and so does Albus. Heightened awareness would be handy and would explain how Albus can seem all knowing and react so quickly. I wonder why Moody did not have such awareness.

I am glad the Dursley’s are in trouble the Police will ensure their good name is tarnished and their own crimes are made known, a missing presumed dead child gets attention. The blood wards gone was a good idea as the magical world will come visiting or at the very least the Ministry will want to draw Harry out. The Darker pure blood would also want to use the Dursley’s as an example of why magical children should not be raised by muggles. I hope the Dursley’s were not paid for Harry’s care angry Goblins might be an issue. The Veela might also visit wanting to deal with the Dursley’s given Harry’s high regard by the Veela.

Very sly checking the students on the boats now we know why only 4 to a boat and weight is not really an option in the magical world. A good idea to raise standards Albus would not want another Harry or Tom Riddle. Using the elves to immunise the students is a really nice idea.

Muggle writing supplies was good thinking parchment and ink would stand out and Hogwart’s could not do that given how complex the paper work would be for the muggleborn and raised.

The use of black robes and hood was a good idea I wonder if Riddle passed the Death Eater garb on that idea so people in the beginning would think they are Unspeakables rather than those who do unspeakable acts.

Great news about Wormtail as Sirius has been wronged worse than Harry.

Lucius in trouble is welcome news he has much to answer for even when he master was gone.

A very simple yet effective way to deal with the Minister. Albus would be an old hand when it comes to dealing with annoying people who don’t want to be around him.

Nott is a another Slytherin who is not very cunning. It was good to mention that Albus likes knowing everything especially secrets even when he wants to do better he can’t change his nature overnight.

Dumbledore’s issues with the Fidelius charm was interesting maybe he miscast the one for the Potters, does not want responsibility for the secret or the charm can only be cast so many times by one person.

I liked the mention of court of public opinion as Harry was tried often and could do nothing about it.

A well put line "spent the next few days being the Headmaster as much as he could, and the Chief Warlock when he couldn’t get out of it."

Thanks for including the Merpeople I hoped we would see them again. Harry really does seem to have a rapport with other races he could make an excellent diplomat. I liked how communication with the Merpeople is evolving some universal gestures would make talking easier. I am happy Harry won’t be talked to as he deserves to be left alone and Dumbledore and others don’t deserve the chance it would be too easy.

I hope Gabrielle does not find out about Harry’s first kiss there could be Veela tears or her resolve to be with him could increase. Now he is in the Enclave I think the Veela would be possessive of him which would be nice.

I love the image of the twins in hammocks that is some nice Transfiguration skill. Thanks for allowing Binns to rest I wonder if other ghosts want to pass on. It was good to know he was not always a bad teacher. Dippet has much to answer for as a Headmaster Albus should move his portrait elsewhere for a time.

Impressive magic Albus claps act like a finite. I am pleased Albus is teaching I think he would be an excellent one and he did help shape magical history so would be good to teach it.

I hope there is no absolution from Harry as he is usually too forgiving and after all that has happened I don’t think he would be.

A good sum up of what Sirius and Remus were up to and why Remus was never around. I hope they fail in their attempt as Harry is better off without them in his life both men are very selfish and Harry does not need their influence. I am surprised Sirius does not resent Albus and the Order more for the lack of faith in him and the lack of trial.

Hermione spoke well I hope she is also denied absolution from Harry. Still she will do in Ravenclaw I often wonder if she only went to the House of the brave because of Harry and it was the House of Albus and Minerva.

Harry’s room locked up will ensure out of sight out of mind in Hogwart’s.

Minerva has a brass neck she should resign given her failure as a Head of House she failed Harry from when his parents died onwards.

The prophecy was the biggest issue Harry has to deal with now it was well done about Fudge he would do anything to save his job.

An excellent moment of clarity for Albus its a good question why fight or save the people of magical UK they don’t appreciate it for long.

I liked knowing roughly how many Veela there are in the enclave as the Veela population can be rather vague.

Regarding the third task no rules was good to know and such clarification was rare. I truly hope Harry gives up his British heritage as that is not something he does often and I think he would value being Veela more.

The Veela do things with style Fudge would have been wiser taking female Aurors only. A most impressive display of magic by Harry.

Such honesty is rare in the magical world but it is true Fudge is more dangerous than Riddle although Albus was as much of a liability. Still he had to relish being so honest with Fudge.

I am glad money or compensation was mentioned as Harry in the books fought Riddle and the Goblins risking all he had and got nothing for it of any real consequence which seems foolish to me. At the very least Harry should be paid so he does not need to work. In this story enhanced protections for the enclave would be ideal. The Veela would be good for hunting Riddle as the majority of the Death Eater’s appear to be male.

I liked the "his school" given the secrets and power Hogwart’s has Albus would not want other schools snooping around.

I enjoyed finding out what Albus thought and why he made the mistakes he did. I don’t think Harry would care if he hurt the other champions. Fleur might be an issue considering she is Veela but it would not stop Harry.

True about change.

It would be nice if there was another chapter, one shot or epilogue as I would like to know what happens with Harry who does he marry, does he have kids and what does he do in the enclave. What happens with the magical world when it does not have Harry and Albus to use and blame does change happen does Albus change for good? Are Ron, Hermione and others driven from the magical world or are they doomed to stay in the UK as no other country wants them. For fun does Neville’s punch push him to be more confident and assertive. What happens with Gabrielle.

Thanks very much for this it was a most enjoyable and interesting read a refreshing change from the usual where Harry has to change the world, Dumbledore is best suited to do so. Thanks for making Harry happy and giving him a home away from the UK. I really liked the insight into the Veela and that Dumbledore was not a total villain just human.

I look forward to what you post next.

Santiago posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 12:42pm

Jeconais, i apologize now for any error in grammar since english is my second language, and therefore one i do not use everyday.

I read yor author note, and have not read any other comments, but i consider this one to be one of the most original fanfics i have ever enjoyed. I say this, because i have followed your evolution as a fanfic writer for years since i discovered "This means war" almost six or seven years ago.

I believe that an original idea is the central thing in a fanfiction, as the ability to make someone rethink a character and that said character still looks credible in the original story.

From Buenos Aires, Argentina, this now 23 year old, thanks you for years of interesting and amusingfanfics, for making me see that there is more to an story than meets the eye.

Greetings.

Santiago Vázquez Musa

Zaion posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 12:23pm

Turned out great, and no matter what you ssy I feel its up to your usual standards. -Zi

Iggyboo posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 12:20pm

Love this story. I wish that there was more, but it ended quite well. I hope that you will continue to write as I love your stories! I have read Hogwarts' Dawn so often that I can quote the first chapter by memory now!

Thanks for all the writing that you share!

Zamia posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 11:54am

Sounds like a high quality LSD trip. Excellent fantasy. The only penance Dumbles would think of is getting another unsuspecting human he could use as a folly. Can't see him being sorry for anything while he is alive. Go Harry. Cheers.

Z

hoppy159 posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 11:31am

First off, I want to say I enjoyed the story. Secondly, stop beating yourself up about the quality of the writing. It's still good. Maybe not an epic legth piece, but good, nonetheless. For those who criticize because it's been "done before", well, with Harry Potter fanfiction, that's probably true. The is so much out there, just about every possible twist has been done before. Yet, I personally still search for "gems" hidden among the multitude of stories out there. Thanks for writing for us.

LorraineBlack posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 11:11am

I actually enjoyed this fanfic a lot, like most of your other pieces of work.

The way Harry reacted is simply one of the many possible ways things could have gone, as well as everything, but with a different setting (the Veela Enclave and what it implies).

I always feel for Hermione, in many ways I understand the way some people portray her, whether it be in a more positive or negative light, but I can always relate to her actions, as they are within a spectrum (unless it's incredibly OOC and AU).

Has Albus changed? No, but I think he's in the process. Guilt can be dealt with in two ways: Constructive or Destructive. Albus is trying to do the Constructive to the world, while dealing with it in a Destructive way within (paying a penance). It will make Hogwarts (and the Wizarding World) a better place, and maybe in time, things can be better, but never the same again.

Tzu Con posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 11:10am

Review of: Enslavement Chapter 2

I can see why some people would dislike your first chapter [I'm obviously not one of them], Harry being betrayed in 4th year and leaving isn't new, although his method and manner certainly were, especially the buildup to a bond, onlyto have the carpet pulled from under our feet! Wonderfully done BTW.

Please don't let the nay-sayers get you down, the rest of us are deleriously happy that you're back to writing at all.

As for this chapter, I must admit I've never seen Dumbledork become quite so proactive quite so fast. Even the DD of Bob 'n Alyx's Dragon Fall series wasn't so brutally effective in reshapping the school and Ministry, especially in the face of such a comaratively minor event [Harry leaving is small compared to the events in some stories where DD still refuses to fix anything].

It's also nice that you didn't instantly jump to replacing Fudge with Bones, one cliche to far I think. Perhaps get DD to do it himself? Or even McG, that could be hillarious. Threatening memories is also a new device, not a new idea, but I've never seen an author actually use it.

Once again, eagerly awaiting more,

Tzu.

crocket posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:57am

nice story i like it

cdunphy posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:53am

I don' really understand your comments at the beginning that was a fine piece of work.A story that was so much about harry potter without harry being involved its not my normal cup of tea but it as a really good chapter and story I reckon if it is complete because it could be finished right now. though I truly feel for hermoine and only hermoine in this story it makes me wonder why we were so infatuated with the story of harry potter when the world was as flawed as it was Dumbledore wow I mean what was he thinkin and IM talkin just about cannon.My ramble ends here thank you very much for your effort and I hope that real life and fan fiction is now in balance for you

CD

grey_shadow_horse posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:51am

I liked it :) It's good that dumbledore learned from his mistakes. I like how things are changing. maybe a bit late, but better late than never.

The enclave is BAMF :) I like how they didn't stop and talk.

Thank you for posting this fic :) not everyone may like it, but I do. your writing is always a pleasure. happy, drama, romance, dark, angst it doesn't matter for my. I like all.

preier posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:38am

first, about chapter one : you did something new (to me at least). harry's situation there HAS been used and reused, yes. but his reaction, neither lashing out nor turning "dark", simply choosing to accept that his difference is inborn, that he's the alien in a strange land. that was original and interesting. and yes you could have polished it more, probably. on the other side it's a story you are giving us as a gift. so thank you.

regarding this chapter, now

I think the most satisfying part was albus's epiphany concerning his 'leader of the light' title. His actions as a whole? logical, if one assumes a man who simply got blinded both by the prophecy and the idolatry thrown at him.

i'm frustrated with hermione's part of the story. i'm so impressed by the loyalty of that girl toward harry in canon that seeing her betraying herself under peer-pressure... ah well, it still fits in the whole of this tale. bad things do happen with no regard to those they happen to.

Thank you for sharing your stories once more.

Hemotem posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:37am

One word fits this story and that is Brilliant !! I like how you closed up some things like with Remus and Sirius, and the mermaids also a fitting end to the tri-wizard I think it worked well. As for other peoples likes and dislikes I say 'eh' do what you like to do not what others want you to do you will be much happier if you do. I personally do not pay attention to reviews that are in the negative range and read the ones that help me out with what little writing I do do, giving me help in bettering myself with writing. Now to the future hehe I do hope to see more of your works in the future. I like your writing style and even I can see that it has changed but I still like how you write and hope that you continue writing for the enjoyment it offers you. I say thank you for a great read, Hemotem

lktrekkie posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:30am

This is an awesome story. I love how you captured the guilt Albus felt and the payback he delivered!

bajab posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 10:28am

That was quite enjoyable. Well done.

Lisagrace posted a comment on Monday 24th February 2014 9:58am

Liked this chapter. Would like to see what happens a few years down the road with everyone. Dumbledore's clean up is way to late for Harry.