By Jeconais
Reviews
TimGold posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 5:06pm
Please, may i have some more? :P
LLLLove this fic! one of my favorite fics! cant wait for more, and cant wait to seewhat happens with snape and malfoy.
Hoss posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 4:40pm
Great fun .
James Kennedy posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 4:34pm
Great chapter & nice followup to #5. I'm wondering about evil Trelawney though. It kind of makes me wonder if there are Hogwarts profs who are good people.
Here's some grammatical nitpicks (please forgive me, I am in a nitpick mood):
Some sentences that might need to be altered:
Most of the students to applauded loudly.
to applaud or applauded without the to.
And I don’t think any of them would be selected for a Hogwarts’ team.
No apostrophe.
The closest we’ve got to romance is the massages I’ve been giving her, and before you get your minds into the gutter, they are same as the physio ones Ollie and I get at the Canons
Cannons.
All the best & thanks-- I look forward to Chapter 7!
Tom A. posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:53pm
Thank you very much for continuing this story. I think I read the first two parts during that 5 month delay, and wasn't sure if there would be more.
This is good. A slimy Dumbledore, nasty Snape and Malfoy who I'm pretty sure will get what's coming to them, a lovely romance - who could want more?
Oh, your Arthurian legends are wrong. Actually, it's the legends that are wrong in the potterverse, because if Merlin was such a great and powerful wizard, there has to be more to the story than helping in Arthurs conception, and helping him grown into a king. Your fiction is the first that's addressed that.
Well written, and imaginative, thank you very much for sharing this with us.
Tom A.
Gardengirl posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:08pm
Tim,
This was a fantastic read, as usual. You have such a gift for putting words together to marvelous effect, whether comic or somber or generically evocative. A few favorites:
"Ollie," Harry replied in English, getting to his feet and walking toward him. "French is one of the most romantic languages in the world, yet you sound like you’re butchering a pig when you speak it." I howled when I read this!
'"Throwing me to the lions?" she asked, the joke falling a little flat.' I loved the play on words, the Gryffindor lion and Daniel's lions. Delicious. Not to mention that the guys at least would probably have loved to devour her
"Why did you not just Summon the egg?"
My friend and I asked each other that very question over a pint of draft cider last Friday - and, by the way, finding cider at all, let alone draft, is HUGE in the US!
"So, how have your first few weeks as a teacher been?"
"Tiring," Harry said with a slight smile. "I didn’t expect it to be such hard work."
"Non-teachers never do," Greg said. "It is our eternal complaint."
I applaud this bit, and wonder if it's a gracious nod to Lacey?
Hoping 7 is in beta,
Michelle
XanDutch posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 2:43pm
I'm enjoying this story very much. The romance is very sweet, and the Quidditch/Hogwarts plotlines are very interesting and engaging. As well as very explosive in future!
One thing, however, I did not quite understand in this chapter and that is to do with the splinter of bone Gabrielle pulls from Harry's shoulder. Goblins make daggers out of their enemy's femurs. Harry gets the ghostly impression of Grasnot, so I am assuming it is his femur. After all the original owner of the femur would have a closer connection to it than the one wielding the dagger, right? But Grasnot joined forces with Voldemort. So the goblin fashioning the dagger would have been an enemy and therefore on the other side. But that would mean Harry was stabbed by someone who was on his side. Does that make any sense? Maybe I'm making a far too long and convoluted train of thought here, but I'm a little confused.
kittykatluver posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 2:32pm
Awwwwww!! How romantic!!! I like!! But, when you do the sex scene, please, PLEASE don't make it graphic!! I hate graphic "scenes". Ack. But, other than that.....I LOVE IT!
Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 1:18pm
Outstanding chapter, though I find myself anticipating Draco, Snapes, and Sybil's demise in the next chapter. The bit with how they plan to arrive sounds promising, and ought to throw Dumbledore into a snit. Great work thank you.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 1:02pm
Delightful read, a most enjoyable Thanksgiving/Birthday present (my birthday's 11/26). I like the way you tied up a few more threads while adding other new ones. Somehow I'm not surprised at the tie-up between the two teachers. I imagine Draco is going to be rather surprised at how little his charms will affect Gabrielle; something tells me that might make him a bit more forceful, to his ultimate detriment.
The Resident posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 12:48pm
Nice start, but I didn't see any difference in the first chapter that you mentioned in the note in chapter six. I went back to the copy on my HD and checked word for word and couldn't find any changes.
Knight_Hax0r posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 11:27am
Ohh... Very interesting! I wonder what Harry will do when Malfoy and Snape put their plan into action, better yet what he'll do to the French Divination teacher! LOL I hope they have a nice portkey to take them to a nice safe place under a rock in africa! In the words of Ron, "You're scary, you know. Brilliant, but scary!"
sempracaveas03 posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 9:44am
Ya' know, if Harry's family owned 65% of the stock in The Daily Prophet and 55% of Witch Weekly, plus the fact that he's friends with Luna (one of my favourites) and her dad, he could literally control the entire news flow in England if he wanted to. The only reason he doesn't is because he doesn't know this. With this, and the fact that he knows Skeeter is an illegal animagus, he could absolutely stop Rita from writing and publishing ANYTHING ever again! *giggles gleefully*
On another note, I love the quiet way that you are progressing Gabrielle and Harry! It's so sweet. This is my third favourite pairing (after H/HR and H/Luna, I can't stand canon!Ginny)
If Harry and Gabrielle can sense when someone is trying to mess with their bond (as DM, SS, and ST don't know they're bonded ... yet!) could they 'sue' someone for doing something like that? Could it constitute as a legal marriage? Was their bond what helped Harry stay alive enough to finish off Voldemort, and to have enough strenght to live afterwards? They'd be some interesting concepts to think about. I bet Dumbles knows they're bonded, or at least he suspects and wants to rid Harry of it in order to keep Harry under his control instead of being so independent. I also think that Dumbles showed Trelawney a 'different' or edited version of the prophecy that he showed Harry. Won't it be interesting to see Trelawney's reaction to that bit of news!?
Anyway, I can't wait to see Dumbles, Malfoy, Snape, Trelawney, Skeeter, Fudge, Scrimgeour, Madam Prevoyez, and anyone else in Dumbles's court-side, go down! Happy Writing!
Happy Snorkack Hunting (don't you just love Luna?),
Sempra
krys posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 9:27am
nice ((: took the weight off quidditch, and was slightly fluffy. nice one.
on the other hand, there are a few mistakes (spelling). not major, but to me they stick out like a sore thumb.
for example: "even if she did have to be persuaded to try and fish and chips" should have been to try fish and chips without the and.
yupp. thats it. nice story, you seriously put jk rowling to shame ((:
rock on, and i'll be looking out for the next update.
HPFAN posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:37am
wow man. u never cease to impress me. ive been following your work for quite some time now, and i
love your stories. i hope that this one goes on forever, but, as with all good things, there must come an end.
i hope that u have much more to write. u rock man.
take care
The Resident posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:08am
Another superb chapter to an already excellent story. Now, due to your opening note, I will have to re-read the first two chapters (a dull job, but someone's got to do it -grin-).
I think I found a couple of things your betas/editor missed.
1. "I went to the bathroom so that he could sneak up on one, but I turned around and followed Harry to see what he was going to do."
If it reads "I was going to go to the bathroom", then it fits better with the rest of the sentence.
2. "If youd like," needs an apostrophe… "If you’d like,".
3. "mind if I…? he asked" needs a 'quote symobl' after the question mark. "mind if I…?" he asked"
4. "But, enough about Quidditch, how" gives my grammar checker fits. Try "But enough about Quidditch; how".
I am really looking forward to a couple of scenes: Albus when Beauxbatons arrives in toto and when Draco becomes a drooling idiot. Also, scenes including Snape and/or the Divination instructor (both of them) being thoroughly embarrased would be nice.
Also, as always, I am looking forward to more TMW and Wild Horses. I also want to see the 'original' book/story you are working on. I also know that work/real life interfere with such and so I have learned to be patient and greatly appreciate whatever you are able to do.
Wytil posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:06am
Legends of any kind are just memories of memories, etc. Someone inserting changes along the way, like Tennyson. Soon His version would meld or distort a lot of the inherited memories. There is also in this AU world and in JKR's too, the wizards would have different memories than muggles and even theirs would be changed by the various governments for political enhancements eventually distorting everything.
Tom Pearson1 posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 7:14am
Hi, Tim,
Loving this story: cute doesn't describe it, but it's the word tha came to my head so I'll go with it.
I liked the Arthurian stuff: with legends like that, I think that people can use them in whatever way they want. I do have just one criticism, though: Tintagel is in Cornwall, not Devon, although it is very close to the border between the two. Still, that's being very pedantic, and I wouldn'#t have mentioned it if I hadn't visited the place over the summer.
Happy thanksgiving.
Tom
Astral Dee posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 6:02am
Another great update.
It's so difficult to find any best part in the story because it is all so wonderfully written. But my favourite part would be the "plotting" that the Evil Trio of Teachers are doing. Thoughtless planning by bad guys is always funny to read. And Draco never seems to learn anything about Harry.
Evil Trelawney ... that was unusual, especially her hate of Harry stemming from him not fulfilling any of her death prophecies. It must have put a damper on her Inner Eye.
Neville as a "private Defense instructor", that was original. I have seen Neville as going into the Herbology field and even as an Auror but never teaching Defense.
We also saw Gabby as the vulnerable Veela that she is to her Mate. Must be a tough existence. I wonder if she ever wants to be a normal human. There are a lot of similarities between her and Harry in that aspect.
Nitpicks:
("If youd like," Gabrielle said) should be ("If you'd like," Gabrielle said)
(knew that her bra was had disappeared} should be (knew that her bra had disappeared)
Did your beta mean the ending of this chapter or the ending of the story?
Keep on writing.
BJH posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 5:29am
OH the Bunnies!!!
What if that fourth girl that Harry slept with, the one nobody is supposed to know about, is Hermione? She and Harry tried to make a go but he couldn't return her feelings so she settled for Ron, not her first choice but he did love her in return? Out of jealousy, even if it is not conciously, she tries to destroy the bond to "free" Gabby and revenge herself for not being given a fair chance to make a relationship with Harry herself?
I know you can do a manipulative Dumbledore but can you do a spiteful Hermione?
BJH
Robin Westerly posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 7:30pm