Hope
6 - Tintagel
By Jeconais
Reviews
krys posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 9:27am for 6 - Tintagel
nice ((: took the weight off quidditch, and was slightly fluffy. nice one.
on the other hand, there are a few mistakes (spelling). not major, but to me they stick out like a sore thumb.
for example: "even if she did have to be persuaded to try and fish and chips" should have been to try fish and chips without the and.
yupp. thats it. nice story, you seriously put jk rowling to shame ((:
rock on, and i'll be looking out for the next update.
HPFAN posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:37am for 6 - Tintagel
wow man. u never cease to impress me. ive been following your work for quite some time now, and i
love your stories. i hope that this one goes on forever, but, as with all good things, there must come an end.
i hope that u have much more to write. u rock man.
take care
The Resident posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:08am for 6 - Tintagel
Another superb chapter to an already excellent story. Now, due to your opening note, I will have to re-read the first two chapters (a dull job, but someone's got to do it -grin-).
I think I found a couple of things your betas/editor missed.
1. "I went to the bathroom so that he could sneak up on one, but I turned around and followed Harry to see what he was going to do."
If it reads "I was going to go to the bathroom", then it fits better with the rest of the sentence.
2. "If youd like," needs an apostrophe… "If you’d like,".
3. "mind if I…? he asked" needs a 'quote symobl' after the question mark. "mind if I…?" he asked"
4. "But, enough about Quidditch, how" gives my grammar checker fits. Try "But enough about Quidditch; how".
I am really looking forward to a couple of scenes: Albus when Beauxbatons arrives in toto and when Draco becomes a drooling idiot. Also, scenes including Snape and/or the Divination instructor (both of them) being thoroughly embarrased would be nice.
Also, as always, I am looking forward to more TMW and Wild Horses. I also want to see the 'original' book/story you are working on. I also know that work/real life interfere with such and so I have learned to be patient and greatly appreciate whatever you are able to do.
Wytil posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:06am for 6 - Tintagel
Legends of any kind are just memories of memories, etc. Someone inserting changes along the way, like Tennyson. Soon His version would meld or distort a lot of the inherited memories. There is also in this AU world and in JKR's too, the wizards would have different memories than muggles and even theirs would be changed by the various governments for political enhancements eventually distorting everything.
Tom Pearson1 posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 7:14am for 6 - Tintagel
Hi, Tim,
Loving this story: cute doesn't describe it, but it's the word tha came to my head so I'll go with it.
I liked the Arthurian stuff: with legends like that, I think that people can use them in whatever way they want. I do have just one criticism, though: Tintagel is in Cornwall, not Devon, although it is very close to the border between the two. Still, that's being very pedantic, and I wouldn'#t have mentioned it if I hadn't visited the place over the summer.
Happy thanksgiving.
Tom
Astral Dee posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 6:02am for 6 - Tintagel
Another great update.
It's so difficult to find any best part in the story because it is all so wonderfully written. But my favourite part would be the "plotting" that the Evil Trio of Teachers are doing. Thoughtless planning by bad guys is always funny to read. And Draco never seems to learn anything about Harry.
Evil Trelawney ... that was unusual, especially her hate of Harry stemming from him not fulfilling any of her death prophecies. It must have put a damper on her Inner Eye.
Neville as a "private Defense instructor", that was original. I have seen Neville as going into the Herbology field and even as an Auror but never teaching Defense.
We also saw Gabby as the vulnerable Veela that she is to her Mate. Must be a tough existence. I wonder if she ever wants to be a normal human. There are a lot of similarities between her and Harry in that aspect.
Nitpicks:
("If youd like," Gabrielle said) should be ("If you'd like," Gabrielle said)
(knew that her bra was had disappeared} should be (knew that her bra had disappeared)
Did your beta mean the ending of this chapter or the ending of the story?
Keep on writing.
BJH posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 5:29am for 6 - Tintagel
OH the Bunnies!!!
What if that fourth girl that Harry slept with, the one nobody is supposed to know about, is Hermione? She and Harry tried to make a go but he couldn't return her feelings so she settled for Ron, not her first choice but he did love her in return? Out of jealousy, even if it is not conciously, she tries to destroy the bond to "free" Gabby and revenge herself for not being given a fair chance to make a relationship with Harry herself?
I know you can do a manipulative Dumbledore but can you do a spiteful Hermione?
BJH
BJH posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 5:18am for 6 - Tintagel
Building on my previous note about the similarity between the Veela Mating bond and a house-elf's bond to it's family... What could happen if Hermione comes to see this and gets her S.P.E.W. knickers all in a twist? It could lead to a messy round of "But I know what is best for YOU" perhaps even with Hermione siding with Dumbledore to break the bond.
BJH
BJH posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 5:06am for 6 - Tintagel
Hmmm - The way you describe Gabriel's feelings and obedience is almost like that of a house-elf. Joyful servitude. I wonder if that is the reason the Delacours employ a human staff rather than use house-elves?
I am enjoying this story tremendously and can't wait another week for the next update. Thanks for the efforts.
BJH
Jamie46 posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 4:43am for 6 - Tintagel
That was a great chapter; once again you deliver in full. I loved how Harry's friends got all protective over him...and now the Twins are corrupting the Beauxbatons youth! ;) hehehehee. Awesome. And I am ALL FOR Harry sending Beauxbatons to Hogwarts! ;) hehehehe. Ohhhh yeah.... :( Damn, Severus and Draco are gonna cause problems, that much is obvious. Why isn't Skeeter in jail, or exposed? Because she makes a wonderful plot device, I know. ;) lol. I wonder how people will react to the Mating--b/c y'know that Skeeter's gonna report Harry putting the moves on Gabrielle, and then the Mating will have to come out... let's just hope that Harry's ready for it when it does. (I'm getting visions of Gabrielle breaking the bond b/c of all the bad publicity her love is getting, and Harry being so upset about that that he actually recreates it... :) hahaha, now *that* would be interesting... and telling, so I won't ask ;) lol) Thanks again for such an awesome chapter, and, really, for such an awesome site in general.
brad posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:46am for 6 - Tintagel
Very nice!
With the whole spiel about King Arthur and Merlin I was starting to think that this was going to end up with Harry & Gabrielle going back in time or something. Just being silly; as I recall Merlin's lover was an enemy and ultimately his downfall? And anyway, Merlin's body lying there put paid to that theory, I guess.
Gabby's healing Harry was very nice; very symbolic that he'd let his guard down and trust her like that.
I can't help but feel that the spell that Hermione knows that "gets around" his nullifier field is going to be important later on, levelling things up a bit between Harry and Dumbledore and co. Harry's Achilles heel? Just my paranoia.
The big setup between Harry and Snape/Draco due to ... Sybil Trelawney's feeling that her prophecy was thwarted? I can't help but feel that that's very anti-climatic, a very weak reason for any major fireworks that might take place later on. Which prophecy anyway? Wasn't she predicting his death on a weekly basis up until the end of OotP? Still, I would have expected skullduggery from the Slytherins simply because of their enmity of Harry, regardless of any external motivator like Trelawney. I just felt that her inclusion was a bit awkward and unrealistic.
A couple of grammar mistakes that I stumbled across in my reading. Plus my mozilla 1.8b to a HP 8150 laserjet didn't do quite as good a job as normal in printing this latest chapter; the spaces between words where one was italic were deleted in the printout (i.e. "aaa iii" would be printed as "aaaiii" where 'iii' is in italics) and some sentences were right up against the right-hand margin line, sometimes the final character even crossing over past the line into the margin. Just a problem with mozilla? 1.8 is the latest version but I appreciate that I'll have to move over to Firefox eventually; maybe my Christmas project, hope the final 1.5 is released by then. Thanks for the chapter!
ulkser posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:08am for 6 - Tintagel
ummm... well. it was good. ok here it goes. i know harry is "god" in this fic or some people use super power term. anyways but please he must not be able to resist her when she does so much to please him.
that being said, i like it. take care jim.
Adam posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:04am for 6 - Tintagel
Another great chapter, this one had me in stitchjes at times, especially after bringing the twins in lol. I do find it interesting though that Harry was blaimed for the purple hair incident by that teacher. As for Draco he is a slimy git and it will be fun seeing him shot down by Gabby.
Terry Swain posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 2:42am for 6 - Tintagel
that was a great chapter.
Ann F posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 2:05am for 6 - Tintagel
Lovely. I am addicted to this story now. Love that DD is a baddie, as well as Harry the grown-up.
Alexander1 posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 1:47am for 6 - Tintagel
Alright, I'm trying to come up with something intelligent to say....But I can't.
All I can say is that I like the story A LOT and I hope to read more. There were a few spelling mistakes but nothing that can't be looked over.
Also, I liked your twist on the Arthurian legends. Never really liked Lancelot, anyway. Always thought he was a poof.
M. Kearney posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 12:07am for 6 - Tintagel
Excellent. This story just keeps getting better.
I'm really enjoying a tale with Voldemort out of the picture. Without that aspect gone,this reads like a good old fashioned action/romance; and that is one of my favorite things to read.
Great work.
Prince Charon posted a comment on Thursday 24th November 2005 11:55pm for 6 - Tintagel
Wow! I like it. A lot.
You're very good at this.
Thank you for the update. More soon, please.
TheGimp posted a comment on Thursday 24th November 2005 11:54pm for 6 - Tintagel
Happy Thanksgiving!!! THANK YOU for this gift.
sempracaveas03 posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 9:44am for 6 - Tintagel