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ichtys posted a comment on Saturday 26th November 2005 3:59pm for 6 - Tintagel

Hi Tim.
Now I'm awake (sort of) I'll leave a longer review. Great chapter (as always), I enjoyed the relationship between Gabby and Harry. It is nice that he has more debth to his character than many of his friends suspect, and that he is willing to show this to Gabby.
I can't wait to read some serious Ferret bashing. Snape and Dumbledore bashing wouldn't hurt either, but I have a feeling that Dumbledore needs humiliation rather than bashing.
I must say I'm impressed with your writing skills. I don't think there are many fan-fic writers that could make a relationship between a 16yr and a 22yr old work; but you have pulled it off so far.
Question: Will you include Hagrid in this story (Hagrid / Olympe is indicated in HP5)

I look forward to the next chapter.
Ichtys

SNOT (Small Non-essential Omissions or Typos)

“Sure,” Fred said easily. “This is Harry, and if there we’ve learnt anything over the years of extremely profitable partnership and friendship, it’s that he doesn’t ask things like this lightly and there is going to be a killer story behind it.”
Shouldn’t it be:
…and if there /is anything / we’ve learnt over the years of extremely profitable partnership and friendship…

“And you saved the sister of that hot Veela,” Oliver added, a little redundantly. After all, Harry had yet to see a Veela who wasn’t hot.
?? How did Oliver know Fleur was hot. He graduated the year before, and to me it sounds like Oliver is telling a story he saw first hand.

I want you all of you to know the truth,
Should be: I want you all to know the truth; or: I want all of you to know the truth.


She shook her head softly. “No, the bond was there, and it did its job. You were never comfortable around other woman and so you never fell in love like a normal person.
??Don’t know why, but I “feel” like it should be women in stead of woman. If I’m wrong, I apologise

About Gabby’s healing: How could she heal the scratches on Harry’s back when the nullifying shield was up? He needed to turn it off so she could heal the deeper wound in his shoulder, but I thought the shield would prevent any form of magic to make contact with his skin.

Christopher Angel posted a comment on Saturday 26th November 2005 7:57am for 6 - Tintagel

This is great, really, but I don't feel it's up to your usual standard. You're being awfully heavy-handed on the Snape/Draco/etc bit. It's a bit like Star Trek: TNG and the 'message' - you don't need to beat us over the head with the fact that something is rotten in the state of Hogwarts.

MysterioX posted a comment on Saturday 26th November 2005 4:04am for 6 - Tintagel

lol "Trelawney" there's a first for me, I like it.
Can't wait for Hogwarts, loved the Gred n' Forge interaction you write them very well. My fav chapter of the fic this one.
Can we expect another update before the next 7 days are up? Don't break the update cycle

Dotty Yeung posted a comment on Saturday 26th November 2005 3:42am for 6 - Tintagel

Absolutely fantastic! Can't wait to find out what happens next.

Fate posted a comment on Saturday 26th November 2005 1:20am for 6 - Tintagel

This was just lovely!
Well done!
And thankyou for sending me an email telling me of this story being updated!! :D

Maxennce posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 11:09pm for 6 - Tintagel

My God, sooo didn't see the idea of moving the entirety of bueatubaxtons to Hogwarts, that should be very interesting to explain, and to add to that, the plan that Trelawny, Snape and Malfoy are having. Just whats happened to the harpy, she's gotten way way worse. Loved the mini golf scene (thats what we call it here), that was hilarious. Keep up the great work tim, really looking forward to what you have planned next
Cheers
max

Tahlia posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 9:42pm for 6 - Tintagel

This chapter was soooooooo awesome and romantic. Youre writing keeps getting better and better. The whole date and King Arthur background was written really well. Please dont do the cliched and have Malfoy break them up with them only getting back together in the end. If anything let Harry smash him and Snape, just dont seperate them. I can't wait till you post again, it's become my fav :)

dstorres posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:31pm for 6 - Tintagel

I actually liked last chapter better (over all) but this one is very well done. I am eagerly awaiting the next update.

Jorge Manuel Soruco posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 8:03pm for 6 - Tintagel

One of the most inspiring chapters you wrote, in my opinion. I´m a fan of the Arthurian legend and your version is excelent, I never Liked Lancelor anyways, to morally weak to be a great knight.

Kepp Writing

Jorge Manuel "Pendragon" Soruco

Robin Westerly posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 7:30pm for 6 - Tintagel

I am sure everyone has said all that I want to say and said it far better than I could, but at the risk of making superfluous comments, that was brilliant!
Long sentence over, breathe.
I love this story, I love Gabrielle and bah it is three in the morning, I am aloud to be incoherant.
Personally I don't mind you remodelling the arthurian legends, I am over the moon that you included them as they fascinate me. Will they come in to play later at all?
Will there be any focus in F and G influenced pranks?
Will Dobby take a more starring role or is he purely a bit part?
Maybe i should stop bugging you and wait and find out.

Thank you for a wonderful escape.

( P.S. I would like to apologise about my contant H agrid nagging in other reviews, you are writing the stories, not I. I just have a soft spot for him and as you are my favourite HP fiction writer I always hoped you would write about him.)

(P.P.S. That sounded like sucking up, it was not, it was pure statement of fact.)

TimGold posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 5:06pm for 6 - Tintagel

Please, may i have some more? :P
LLLLove this fic! one of my favorite fics! cant wait for more, and cant wait to seewhat happens with snape and malfoy.

Hoss posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 4:40pm for 6 - Tintagel

Great fun .

James Kennedy posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 4:34pm for 6 - Tintagel

Great chapter & nice followup to #5. I'm wondering about evil Trelawney though. It kind of makes me wonder if there are Hogwarts profs who are good people.

Here's some grammatical nitpicks (please forgive me, I am in a nitpick mood):

Some sentences that might need to be altered:

Most of the students to applauded loudly.

to applaud or applauded without the to.

And I don’t think any of them would be selected for a Hogwarts’ team.

No apostrophe.

The closest we’ve got to romance is the massages I’ve been giving her, and before you get your minds into the gutter, they are same as the physio ones Ollie and I get at the Canons

Cannons.

All the best & thanks-- I look forward to Chapter 7!

Tom A. posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:53pm for 6 - Tintagel

Thank you very much for continuing this story. I think I read the first two parts during that 5 month delay, and wasn't sure if there would be more.

This is good. A slimy Dumbledore, nasty Snape and Malfoy who I'm pretty sure will get what's coming to them, a lovely romance - who could want more?

Oh, your Arthurian legends are wrong. Actually, it's the legends that are wrong in the potterverse, because if Merlin was such a great and powerful wizard, there has to be more to the story than helping in Arthurs conception, and helping him grown into a king. Your fiction is the first that's addressed that.

Well written, and imaginative, thank you very much for sharing this with us.

Tom A.

Gardengirl posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 3:08pm for 6 - Tintagel

Tim,

This was a fantastic read, as usual. You have such a gift for putting words together to marvelous effect, whether comic or somber or generically evocative. A few favorites:

“Ollie,” Harry replied in English, getting to his feet and walking toward him. “French is one of the most romantic languages in the world, yet you sound like you’re butchering a pig when you speak it.” I howled when I read this!

'“Throwing me to the lions?” she asked, the joke falling a little flat.' I loved the play on words, the Gryffindor lion and Daniel's lions. Delicious. Not to mention that the guys at least would probably have loved to devour her

“Why did you not just Summon the egg?”
My friend and I asked each other that very question over a pint of draft cider last Friday - and, by the way, finding cider at all, let alone draft, is HUGE in the US!

“So, how have your first few weeks as a teacher been?”

“Tiring,” Harry said with a slight smile. “I didn’t expect it to be such hard work.”

“Non-teachers never do,” Greg said. “It is our eternal complaint.”

I applaud this bit, and wonder if it's a gracious nod to Lacey?

Hoping 7 is in beta,
Michelle

XanDutch posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 2:43pm for 6 - Tintagel

I'm enjoying this story very much. The romance is very sweet, and the Quidditch/Hogwarts plotlines are very interesting and engaging. As well as very explosive in future!

One thing, however, I did not quite understand in this chapter and that is to do with the splinter of bone Gabrielle pulls from Harry's shoulder. Goblins make daggers out of their enemy's femurs. Harry gets the ghostly impression of Grasnot, so I am assuming it is his femur. After all the original owner of the femur would have a closer connection to it than the one wielding the dagger, right? But Grasnot joined forces with Voldemort. So the goblin fashioning the dagger would have been an enemy and therefore on the other side. But that would mean Harry was stabbed by someone who was on his side. Does that make any sense? Maybe I'm making a far too long and convoluted train of thought here, but I'm a little confused.

kittykatluver posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 2:32pm for 6 - Tintagel

Awwwwww!! How romantic!!! I like!! But, when you do the sex scene, please, PLEASE don't make it graphic!! I hate graphic "scenes". Ack. But, other than that.....I LOVE IT!

Shawn Pickett posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 1:18pm for 6 - Tintagel

Outstanding chapter, though I find myself anticipating Draco, Snapes, and Sybil's demise in the next chapter. The bit with how they plan to arrive sounds promising, and ought to throw Dumbledore into a snit. Great work thank you.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 1:02pm for 6 - Tintagel

Delightful read, a most enjoyable Thanksgiving/Birthday present (my birthday's 11/26). I like the way you tied up a few more threads while adding other new ones. Somehow I'm not surprised at the tie-up between the two teachers. I imagine Draco is going to be rather surprised at how little his charms will affect Gabrielle; something tells me that might make him a bit more forceful, to his ultimate detriment.

Knight_Hax0r posted a comment on Friday 25th November 2005 11:27am for 6 - Tintagel

Ohh... Very interesting! I wonder what Harry will do when Malfoy and Snape put their plan into action, better yet what he'll do to the French Divination teacher! LOL I hope they have a nice portkey to take them to a nice safe place under a rock in africa! In the words of Ron, "You're scary, you know. Brilliant, but scary!"