By Jeconais
Reviews
Riegert8 posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 4:41am
I admit I like this story more then I thought I would, I like Harry is paired with Astoria. For that pairing I would keep on reading
mwinter posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 4:40am
Love the one shot and glad your still writing. I started early last night to read it. 40 minutes into the next day and I'm done. Well done in deed on the story.
rgshea96789 posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 3:13am
Great story! Thanks for writing. I was just little disappointed that Luna wasn't more prominent. The club would have been so god for her. Perhaps another short one about Luna in the club?
Jonn_Wolfe posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 3:07am
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Vastly different, yet still compelling.
Normally, I've seen bad Malfoys, good Malfoys and misunderstood Malfoys. Having them actually be believable and familiy oriented, along with their opportunistic ways, was a brilliant move. Yes, they're still snobs, but they love each other.
It was a surprise, seeing Tori as she was in this. The cunning little Slytherin who actually gave a damn. Excellent work.
And honestly, I love the ending. Draco so deserved that.
I say again, Brilliant!
Orion posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 2:55am
This was excelent. You've done a number stories about Harry befriending a different group of students in the last couple years (Blue Steel and Hogwarts Dawn come imidiately to mind) this was another great one.
Your take on the Malfoys in this was interesting here. I've seen versions of them before as more family oriented and willing to switch sides, but this may be the first one I've seen where Lucius and Narcissa were honestly surprised and unhappy with Draco's real personality.
Once again, thank you for writing and sharing it with us.
Ladynero posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 2:29am
*grins and applauds* I love this story. It is a beautiful look at What Might Have Been, and I enjoyed it tremendously.
loretta537 posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 1:46am
this was a great story
Wolff posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 1:35am
On the second read, my first impression was right: this story is made of light and laughter, and I love it! It's light, and full of hope, and is both what I really needed and what I've come to expect from you. It's nice, too, to see some pieces from the Chancing Chaos piece you wrote. I really liked that one too, but then I was familiar with the work it came from. Happy Birthday (a little late) and thank you for another fun tale. It's appreciated. -W
Madmax posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 1:18am
Fantastic little story. Great job with the variations on characters.
CubsKing posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 1:11am
That was a totally awesome story! I'm so glad to see some new writing from you. Keep up the good work!
Feno3000 posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 11:08pm
I almost forgot... you mention that Ron would like to do something with Charms after leaving Hogwarts. But the example Seamus then gives (match to needles) would be Transfiguration not Charms.
Charms would for example be the Levitating Charm from the lesson where Ron is so insulting to Hermione that she cries for 7 or 8 hours in a restroom or on a somewhat more "masterly" level the letting your object dance and jump around as seen in the practical OWL examinations. Harry's little lesson for Astoria also encompasses multiple Charms (Wingardium Leviosa, although I still stand with my pet-theory that Leviosa is the "proper" charm and Wingardium refers to the feather, so using just Leviosa or another specifier in front of it and if it is "rerum" for "stuff" would actually work better once you leave lifting feathers around behind you and go on to using it on every day objects. A quill though would work fine witrh the original spell, but in theory trying to lift a piano with the spell for a feather should be unnecessarily complicated and tiresome, Protego and Depulso, maybe even Accio i'm not 100% sure after half a day :D)
fanfichelps posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 11:08pm
Thanks for writing.
I wanted to finish in one sitting, and kept reading at 2 a.m., and at 3 a.m., but at 4 a.m. I decided I really should go to bed.
Lee Dickie posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 9:22pm
A welcome return of one of the best fanfiction authors about.
I really enjoyed this story, it was well written (as usual) and entertaining with a gentle moulding of the characters rather than using canon events to direct the story. I especially liked Ron's revelations at the end.
Thank you.
BAFan posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 7:51pm
What an amazing, magnificent story! I loved all the changes to Canon within it, and loved even more that it was Ron who remained steadfast in his friendship with Harry. Although I'm sad that Hermione proved herself a not-friend, the way you presented it here is totally believable. I adored this story!
//The following conversation was something that Harry appreciated on one small level, and blocked out of his mind on every other level possible. He resolved to never ask where Victoria kept the puppets, or why she even had them in the first place.//
ROFL! And I loved that Snape's immense shortcomings as a teacher have been brought to light (though I was surprised at his motivation), as well as Draco's complete pratness.
// . . . He was pleased that Victoria had been right, and that Astoria had clearly charmed the boob-fairy into understanding the importance of ratio, proportion and general shape as being more important than pure size.//
Beautifully put!
//"A kebab with meat of dubious origin that is at least thirty percent rat, carved from a rotating spit, served by a hirsute Muggle with no command of the English language but absolute command of eighteen eastern European languages, served with eight small pieces of lettuce from last week’s supermarket returns, and covered in a sauce that is almost completely made of garlic, gelatine and artificial flavourings?"//
Er . . . Given that my husband and I are vacationing in the UK next week, I hope that's just Pureblood snobbery talking! Or faux-snobbery anyway.
~Debbie
gosumdoji posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 7:47pm
It was light, kinda fluffy, and I really liked it. Thank you.
ILikeToRead posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 7:34pm
As always, it's enjoyable to read one your stories. This one was so relaxed and you showed how well someone can prosper with the right environment and personalities. I liked the slow and formal way that Harry and Astoria went about their courtship even though Harry knew what her family's values really were. Thanks for sharing your work!
Feno3000 posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 7:28pm
Lovely, what a way to get shot even if it's just that once :D
No but seriously, you rock fanfic as ever. Astoria is great, only her Bronte Sisters speech pattern is far too thick laid on, anyone with more perspecitivity than Harry would have noted it is an act to appeal to such a model without really buying into it. And it's not nice to read, especially in a "courtship" frame bordered by exposee bits featuring popcorn munching "best friends" that are playing matchmakers for the two... It's saving grace is the "she knew it and still let us go for it" revelation halfway through.
The society is a fabulous idea as was Hermione disliking it for not being "serious" enough. (Although it might have been worth a try to get her back into it in fifth year, trying to take it over with her fanatical study planning and leaving in disgust for something that does not even want to study "just" for grades. Thinking back to how Harry learned amazing things out of either need or curiosity but not so much out of curriculum provision or standardized testing, that approach is already proven from the books just that Hermione could neither understand nor partake in it... just as you'd assume if one person is a booklearner and one needs a hands-on approach to new material), but what's so bad with acronyms? As long as you avoid fartjokes and vomit references it should be fine... going to MASS is not offensive in my eyes and the Muggle appreciation society and studygroup would have worked as a name too:D
Well what else? I liked the squib-thread especially the deconstruction of one Severus Snape, spot on with that one. And deliciously snarky for that regard. I just have a problem with Lucius being the one changed so much. His canon personality (After the basilisk, at the World Cup, in the Ministry) seems to contradict any possibility of him having such a mellow heart and caring soul. I presume i'd have enjoyed it more if he were still basically the same evil but opportunistic bastard from canon, that loses both his mighty protector and any hope in his son being worth a knut but not had gotten all mushy and soft on non purebloods and whatnot. Lovesick flirting Lucy is nauseating :P And I almost hate the idea of Isabella having to grow up anywhere near that nasty little fungus outgrowth Draco, not even Filch deserves such a fate...
Your OCs were wonderful, although now that i think back the story ran far too smoothly without much opposition to their activities and that seems a bit farfetched in a school so filled with cliques and grudges as Hogwarts was described in the books... but I like the Carrow Twins and Victoria, even though the latter one came back a bit strongly at the "let's kill Harry" moment and afterwards. You've fallen there into the flanderization trap yourself this time. (characterizing someone through just one attribute and then pushing that one to eleven just so it becomes ehhh "funny". without usually being all that funny due to overuse. You know just like Ned Flanders originally was the "straight man" to Homer's lazy layabout loser or all the neighbors Al Bundy had started out as decent but a bit stiff and spoilsporty then turned into caricatures of themselves)
So to sum it up... wonderful dialogues, colorful cast and some funny ideas to turn around the dreadful aspects of Year 6, the wizarding society and Dumbledore's grand plan of letting Harry sacrifice himself without any input in the how, why, when and if.... not flawless, maybe it could even have profited from separating out some chapters to break up certain stresspoints in the narration, but very entertaining, very intriguing for fandom discussions and all around just a fine fanfic out of your "quill". Thanks for sharing this masterpiece with us. I'm sure i'll go back to it in a few years and enjoy it just as much then.
Tumshie posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 6:11pm
Another excellent story, it hit all the pertinent points and had a happy ending, well done on using Astoria, not enough stories featuring her other than as Malfoy's beard.
rjotto posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2016 6:05pm
I have enjoyed reading this stort(?) story as much as I have reading your other stories. I thank you for the time you have spent shoring your stories with us.
joeBob posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2016 4:48am