Regress posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 11:43pm for 5 - Barcelona

Oh. My. God.

I understand what Eric Caton means. Seeing what you've described would be the stuff of nightmares, simply because your NOT the man dancing with Gabrielle.

You've awed me, and that's not an easy thing to do. I like a good story, and I've read a my fair share of HP fan fiction. I rarely even review, much less so glowingly, so that gives you an impression of what this means.

Congradulations, you haven't finished this and I'm stunned. The imagery was incredible, and the flow, flawless. (I couldn't help myself)

P.S. I'm not normally so formal, but I couldn't help myself. YOU ROCK! I was listening to 9 P.M. by ATB while reading the dinner/dance scene and it was PERFECT!

Seaver posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 10:40pm for 5 - Barcelona

Never, have I read more sensual, passionate scenes than the ones written here. My hat off to you. I almost believed in such a thing as a fary tale love. Part of me want to ask you to get the next chapter out soon but that would demean this one. Take your time.

Kuraiko posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 10:40pm for 5 - Barcelona

This is a great story.

The characters are well-played, their progression through time past Hogwarts is not detailed, but enough comes through to make it understandable as to how they act now, even if a little more history would be preferable. I particularly liked Hermione; this was a good example of her busybody know-better-than-you attitude. The comparison to Dumbledore was more apt than in passing.

The plot is also, seemingly, well-thought out and defined, with a steady progression that brings enough character interactions and drama, with a mix of action and subterfuge.

The story as a whole has many things to keep us interested. A long-standing crush, a budding romance, an insurmontable challenge for the hero, while people in the shadows plot something that, as the story isn't far along enough yet, can barely be hinted at.

And yet... the original plot bunny has already been revealed. Harry's friends conspire to bring him love and happiness in relation to a precocious half-Veela who prematurely Mated herself. The machination was revealed quickly, the entire situation has been discovered and is known by all the major players.

Of course, the shady characters (Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy) have yet to learn of the Bond and the consequences, and surely, will either try to take advantage of it, or cause situations to make the whole thing crumble. But that is to be expected.

In fact, this entire thing, so far, reeks, if you'll excuse the negative connotations, of a fairytale romance for our young heroes Harry and Gabrielle. Soon enough their budding relationship will come to light and they'll have some difficulties from without and within, which will make training Gabrielle as Seeker harder and even almost hopeless, but somehow, something will happen to make them come together at the right moment and carry on stronger than before and win against all odds.

Though I love the story so far, another chapter in that direction will start to make me revisit that opinion.

What is missing, and I do hope that this is already planned, is a multiplication of love interests. The problem is that the original plot bunny has almost completely destroyed the possibility. Gabrielle isn't interested in anyone else, and Harry can't feel anything for anyone else. It's a deadlock, one that I hope magic will be able to affect, otherwise this is a story of two people falling in love without much hardship or tragedy. Not to say that it wouldn't be interesting, but there's already too much of that anywhere.

The problem is that anyone trying to break that potential relationship to form one with either Harry or Gabrielle, will automatically be seen or written as a villain in some way. If Ginny, for example, were to find out that the reason things didn't work out with her lifelong crush is because a 'little Veela-slut' Mated him and not to do with her own failings, what IS she capable of doing to try to win Harry's affections? From what's been written so far, nothing.

Gabrielle, because of being Veela and Mated, can't possibly feel for anyone else short of, and this is doubtful, love potions. And we all know how these things can turn out. Harry, while human, is so far magically powerful that it is doubtful that anything can affect him long enough.

It is my serious hope that my budding reticence towards this story will not pan out, that these situations are addressed in some way, or not applicable at all. I am a big fan of Jeconais' stories and find myself re-reading a few from time to time, and so far I really do like this story. I await the next chapter with high expectations.

KK

anonymous posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 10:21pm for 5 - Barcelona

what do you mean the next chapter will blow us away?! i want, no...i need it now!

Prince Charon posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 10:10pm for 5 - Barcelona

I like it. Very, very much.

M. Kearney posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 9:35pm for 5 - Barcelona

I'm speechless. I am really, really enjoying this story more than I ever expected to.

Wonderful job - I cannot wait to read more.

Gerry Pochel posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 9:13pm for 5 - Barcelona

awesome read, best chapter so far in one of the better post hogwarts story i've seen. Especially like how mature both Harry and Ron have become and that Harry is truly in control and no longer given to the uncontrollable temper normally shown for him.

Junky posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 9:07pm for 5 - Barcelona

Wonderful chapter! And with John's beta note ... I can't wait for the next chapter!

mjc posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 8:55pm for 5 - Barcelona

Damn!

Bethany posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 8:27pm for 5 - Barcelona

Whoot!

I'm really enjoying this! I love what you've done with the Delacours, and how you've characterized both Harry and Gabrielle.

Awesome story and I can hardly wait to see where it leads next.

Thanos posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 8:10pm for 5 - Barcelona

Great work, i hope you can update soon.

Darksama posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 8:05pm for 5 - Barcelona

Amazing! Once again I have been enthralled by one of your stories. By the gods I can't even begin to describe the undeniable power that this chapter has. I won't even attempt to do so for it would fall short of the truth. Saying that I can't wait until the next chapter comes out. Until then keep up the great work.

Lon Huey posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 7:48pm for 5 - Barcelona

Wow. Just......wow. I think I might be falling in love with Gabrielle.

Chris King posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 7:30pm for 5 - Barcelona

your beta is evil you dont leave us cliffy he does

ridmania posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 7:06pm for 5 - Barcelona

awesome buddy it was aweosme!! keep up the great work!! cant wait till the next chapter how long will it be until you put it up?

Sean Melton posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 6:44pm for 5 - Barcelona

This is one of those stories that I wish would never end.

Bravo.

Philipe posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 6:38pm for 5 - Barcelona

Just waiting then.. A good story, not your best, but a good story.. Let's see what is behind door number 6..

margaret1 posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 6:18pm for 5 - Barcelona

I really enjoyed the quidditch tryouts, and Harry and Ron being drunk — I’m glad he is friends with Hermione and Ron again, he showed a great deal of maturity in accepting their apologies, and moving on; and letting them know that if they did this to him again — their friendship would be over.

She punched her pillow a few times; she really didn’t like this taking-things-slow business.

I loved this line *laughs*

I really like that the relationship has shifted a little, and now Harry is going to be the aggressor (privately). I enjoyed them dancing, it was an intimate moment between them and I loved when they were having dinner and Harry took Gabby’s hand in his — it was a sweet moment.

Margaret

Gardengirl posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 6:16pm for 5 - Barcelona

Tim, this was indeed fantastic, as usual. John, you're a dreadful tease and should be flogged with a wet noodle.

Looking forward to chapter 6 and wondering where it will be set!

Michelle

Arnold posted a comment on Thursday 17th November 2005 6:11pm for 5 - Barcelona

Err isn't it engaging the brain before speaking rather than engaging the mouth since that constitutes the same thing? Or are you saying that he shuts his mouth so he can't speak.