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Reviews

20cent posted a comment on Thursday 25th April 2013 4:02pm

That's a hell of a story. Congratulation for writing this !

It's funny to see how a fic, which was originally centered around a way over the top big Gred and Forge mess, leads to a adult and mature Harry.

My favorite part is the "meeting of the Weasley Twins" in chp 5. It is really well written and perfectly captures the essence of Fred and George. The part about how they don't really know their name is just the best F&G piece ever (well, with Harry and Daphne's marriage in the Matryoshka Vignettes). The flirts with Michael are also hilarious.

I admire your good ideas (new house in Hogwarts, male and female vela, the giant squid aquatical funland, no pairing but a lot of love/sex tension, ...). Moreover, I'm delighted by your choice regarding characters, those you ignore (the eternal Ron, Giny, Malefoy focus is boring), those you change (convincing Dumbledore and Hermione) and those you created (Michael, Kate, {Crush/Squish/Smash/Nash/Trash}-er and Melissa are just wonderful). I'm just wondering about a few person you didn't mention : what about Hagrid (wha does he think about Harry growing up), what about Neville (I can't believe he agrees with Ron's bulls*t) and what about Moody (or whoever he actually is) ?

If I may, a few critiques : a) a few tiny errors in the french words (not a big deal, but well, I'm French, I'm supposed to be arrogant, so I'm pointing it out ... I can detail if you're interested) ; b) Harry is somewhat perfect and overpowerd : not a single flaw ... well, the whole story is over the top so It's not a big problem, but if you really want to make him mature, he'll have to make a few mistakes and learn from them ; c) Kick-Boxing better than Quidditch ? Come on ...

I can't wait to read about the third task !

Vincent

noylj posted a comment on Thursday 18th April 2013 6:05am

May real life be better and may you return to this story

Sweetdoggie posted a comment on Monday 25th March 2013 6:53pm

Great story so far. I feel a litte sorry for Snape to tell you the truth. Sure, he was mean, cruel, and more than a little stupid to bait Harry like that, but his murder was very cold-blooded and I feel that it was out of character for Harry to do that. On the other hand, it seems to work for the story so I'm not going to worry about it. Hogwarts sure went to a lot of trouble for Harry, esp. if he isn't even going to stay. I feel a bit sorry for the castle too. Anyway, really enjoying this. Thanks for sharing your work.

rgshea96789 posted a comment on Monday 18th March 2013 10:18pm

OOOOMMMMGGGG! "dobby do you have a cure for hangovers?" Absolutely brilliant!

sekmarc posted a comment on Monday 18th March 2013 2:08pm

Wonderful story! I'm curious to see how fourth year ends and if Harry's plans for himself manage to go off correctly. I eagerly await your next post; Happy Writing!

yako posted a comment on Wednesday 13th March 2013 1:42pm

Oh God!

I LOL with that!

Exepcional! like always!

Full_Pensieve posted a comment on Tuesday 12th March 2013 12:04am

Just making sure I'm reading this correctly - do you have Fleur as 5 feet, 8 inches tall and 148 pounds? (ten stone eight) Just curious, as that's definitely not the usual portrayal of Fleur -- more World Cup downhill skier than fashion model. Works for me, personally, just surprising.

Full_Pensieve posted a comment on Monday 11th March 2013 11:37pm

Missed this one in February, glad to catch up in March. Glad to see you're writing, it can be cathartic. At least you haven't rewritten to feed Fleur to the dragon - then I might be worried. Being relegated to the Ninth Level of Divorce can affect a fic, for sure -- added 2 yrs to the completion date for one of mine. Keep at it - even if it isn't as rosy as prior Jeconais, it's just as good.

Elaineprt posted a comment on Tuesday 5th March 2013 4:49pm

loved it! Will there be more?

HP-DG-SB posted a comment on Wednesday 27th February 2013 4:58am

I'm going to have to thank E.C. Scrubb on ff.net for pointing me in your direction when I was looking for a great story to read. This story is absolutely great, a totally new way to go about the GoF that I haven't seen done. I'm glad I took the time to catch up to this story and I'll be checking out more of yours to see if I can find any other good ones.

HP-DG-SB

viviana posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2013 12:50pm

I really love your story, it's one of the best i've read, and considering i've read over 778 fanfics of Harry potter, that's saying something. I'm looking forward to more, but i wish you'd update more quickly, it's keeping me in suspense. A shame you've changed your mind about Fleur, i really like the Harry/Fleur pairing and there aren't many fanfics with this pairing. May I make a sugestion? How about making this a Threesome Fleur/Harry/Kate fic, after all Harry is powerful, rich and has a huge burden of killing Voldemort, so he needs more than one woman to keep him sane. Its just a sugestion i'd like to see, but the choice is yours, this is a really good fanfic. Please update quickly.

calison posted a comment on Sunday 24th February 2013 5:34am

Fuck this story is amazing I could sit here and describe all my favourite parts and the nuances then emotional content and the way the characters evolve over the story for the next twenty minutes and only get across a fraction of what I wanted to convey so I will instead tell you the worst part of this story. . . . . You ready?

The scene where Harry saves Gabby doesn't have a great flow to it

Fanfic Guardian posted a comment on Saturday 23rd February 2013 6:30am

Well written, no grammar mistakes (except the occasionnal typo, maybe), good characterization, yadda-yadda-yadda.

I mean, I like you as an author, already, and I'm not going to waste my time (and yours) giving you absurd flowery compliments about things we both agree on. It is a good read. Period.

However, I really don't like your Harry. He began as a character, now looks like a plot device. He is too rich, too powerful, too confident, too charming.

In fact, I struggle to find him any flaws. He is always right, everything goes his way, and all those who oppose him inevitably become high class buffoons that bow to his superior strength and will.

The kick-boxing championship, for exemple, left me a bitter taste. This guy, with no real prior training, decides to take kick-boxing as a mean to keep fit and be able to defend himself. In a few months of training (you can even stretch that to three years if he spent all his time doing it in the time dilatator, but without a sparring partner, I do not think so), Harry becomes good enough to beat every guys in the country?

Not. Gonna. Happen.

I've been practicing martial arts for 20 years. We see genius every year. All of them get squished for overconfidence in their first competitions and need this to actually become any good. Talent never replaces experience. Never.

This would have been a good occasion for Harry to get trashed after his third fight and get a quick understanding of the long way he had to go. But you needed him to do this, and that's when he began looking like a plot device and less like a character.

Basically, Harry is too smooth and not enough flawed. I tend to favor flawed character, because I, as the reader, can better identify to them.

This Harry sounds often like an overinflated balloon. I would love for him to get taken a peg or ten, and get regular tongue trashing by another character. Not gonna happen, of course, but damn would it feel good.

The Great Phoenix posted a comment on Wednesday 20th February 2013 5:26am

I like that you kept Dumbledore as a misguided good guy. You're also great at dialogue, especially comedy it seems, which I greatly appreciate. You do have a few things mixed up time-wise though. 1) The Dark Mark gradually reappeared on people's arms over the course of fourth year, so a bounty for arms with the Dark Mark on them is unreasonable, let alone that I don't think Harry even knew what it was before the graveyard. 2) This story takes place in 1994, so it would be impossible for a waiter to serve a '96 bottle of wine like he does on the first trip to La Rochelle (idk what chapter)

santiln posted a comment on Tuesday 19th February 2013 7:25am

As always this 2 last updates were really good. It was kind of rough the one with Snape's death so to be kinda back to what this story started like was really good.

I'm waiting eagerly for your next update.

Greetings

The Resident posted a comment on Monday 18th February 2013 12:21pm

I'm quite enjoying the story so far. The new setup with Professor Sinstra(sp) is something completely new. It's hard to find new stuff in stories these days and I find it quite refreshing. Keep up the great work.

The Resident posted a comment on Monday 18th February 2013 10:57am

Quite an interesting chapter. I enjoyed it immensely. (But then again, I have enjoyed all your stories.) Keep up the great work.

Arithmancy posted a comment on Monday 18th February 2013 12:45am

I'm sorry about your personal events, and shall not pry. Thank you for writing.

sparrowphoenix posted a comment on Tuesday 12th February 2013 3:33pm

One of my favorite stories. It's entirely plausible and I like how Ron and Ginny have been marginalized. I'm not a fan of the two of them (Harry/Ginny) in many stories, except a few, and well Ron, it's best to push him to the side quickly.

Keep up the great work and I look forward to the next chapter.

Anand posted a comment on Tuesday 12th February 2013 1:15am

I haven't read any reviews about this chapter, so perhaps it has already been mentioned, but I wonder if the darkness Fluer senses is the horcrux? Or is that cannon plot point not relvent to this story? Love this fic - a really orignial take on the Tournament and I adore your noncannon characters.