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random1name posted a comment on Friday 28th November 2014 8:39am

That ending made no sense and was frankly terrible. Stasis spells have been used in this story, and the wounded boy was harmed without magic, so it would have either been easy to heal him or simple to stabilise him and take him to a healer.

Aside from that, you have vaunted Harry's people reading skills to a very high level, he would have picked up on certain things.

And on top of that, this scenario fits too well with the earlier hypothetical, the one where Harry flat out said the killing curse was wrong and damaged the caster. There are other ways to ease suffering, simple ways, that aren't Unforgiveable and aren't fuelled by hatred. Heck, a stunner would have worked! Instant unconsciousness. Or a sleeping charm, or any manner of magic you have already used in this story.

This is a wonderful, unique story and, personally, I feel it deserves better than that. It broke character, in-verse rules and possibilities, and added a pointless level of angst and stupidity to a situation that could have had nearly the same level of drama without the Killing Curse. That is, if it was crucial to the plot. And if that is the case I am afraid the plot probably needs reworking.

The situation at the end there felt contrived and painfully so, a stark contrast to the rest of the story which flowed far better and did not include such things. Have the spy able to pass his tests, ramp up the drama and betrayal there if you must, and torture us so wonderfully with his love life until it hurts, but please change that last situation so that it wasn't so forced.

Just my opinion, think nothing of it if you like. I love and adore this story and can't wait to see where you take it next. Your writing is wonderful and your characters compelling. I beg you though to please change that curse, if nothing else about that situation.

adafrog posted a comment on Friday 28th November 2014 4:26am

Uh oh.

Very good.

Morsamare posted a comment on Thursday 27th November 2014 8:14am

... He seriously used an unforgivable to put someone out of thier misery, someone that would have died in seconds/minutes anyways? I always wonder where the fanon notion that it was created for mercy killings came from since the purity of intent needed to use it normally eschews mercy killings, at least arguably. If the torture curse won't work unless you only want them to suffer for the simple sake of thier suffering not for revenge or any other diluted intent, the killing curse might not function unless you want death for death's sake, not for some release of pain or some nicer alternative, but simply because you want them to die because they are there. In this instance, the stunning curse would serve the exact same function, he passes away without pain, and no life sentence for you for casting it, WIN WIN!

niloc posted a comment on Thursday 27th November 2014 12:00am

It is a great story. I cannot wait to read more.

Dupapier posted a comment on Wednesday 26th November 2014 8:57pm

A great chapter as usual.

I can't wait for the next chapter but take your time.

Good rest :).

super12 posted a comment on Wednesday 26th November 2014 12:40pm

I don't post on this website just because there are so few stories I like to read but when ever you have a new one I read it. I'm totally pissed that you left it there lol. I want to see what you have Harry do to get out of this. I'm just so excited you post a chapter!

Children-of-Bodom posted a comment on Tuesday 25th November 2014 3:05pm

great chapter, as usual. Really looking forward to see what you intend to do with the russian agent, because considering the powers of all involved she should be exposed as soon as she meets Dawn, Gabby, Hermione or any other girl close to Harry.

thetaxzombie posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 11:18pm

That was one hell of a chapter. A truly grand chapter. Intense, compelling.

A gutwrencher of an end.

Well done!

Lisagrace posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 8:45pm

Great chapter. Very intense.

slayersfan01 posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 8:06pm

I'm really happy that you updated! I'm NOT happy that now it will be a very long time till the next chapter AND you left this at a cliffhanger! Gah! Anyway, great chapter. I really liked the Megan situation and hope that you follow that up somehow. I know its not important by it feels, err, incomplete not knowing what repercussions await her. And these "Mata Hari" OC's...WOW! I've completely forgotten about them! So interesting!

Crys posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 6:41pm

Oh, that whole scene with Megan was just too perfect. Bravo, sir.

So, gave a pass on Sally. His reasoning makes sense. And also shows he doesn't snap up every person who is recommended to him.

Nice to catch up with Annie again.

Hmm. Sounds like Harry's talking about seriously dating Aurora, at least after this school year.

Meeting Natalia seemed too contrived. That masking thing they were talking about will help her, but it'll be fun to watch where that goes.

Excellent story as always. Looking forward to more.

Bombbareir posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 3:49pm

Holy man that was a tough ending i forgot how good you are with your writing its good to see you are writing again man.

DeSoto posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 3:31pm

It has been years, maybe decades, since I giggled. What a story!

Ole Joe posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 11:08am

5 A.M.

It's 5 A.M., and I owe you an apology Jeconais. I read the first chapter of Dawn about six months ago. Hated it. Thought it was a caricature of a previous greatness, TMW.

Cue today. Extreme boredom, looking for something well written to keep me entertained, anything. So I pull up Dawn. And I'm sorry. Cause it is 5 A.M. and I have just read all thirteen chapters in one sitting, and am going to work in an hour and a half. I could pick this apart, gush over why I couldn't put it down, but really I think the clock says it all.

Liquid Night posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 9:02am

A fantastic chapter. I'm glad that you didn't rush the coming confrontation.

On the other hand it will be sad for Kate to be leaving, despite the profession, she is definitely the female I enjoy the most in this story.

Thank you very much for your hard work and enjoy your holiday,

Yours Sincerely

A Fan

diavoloduchessa posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 7:42am

That last bit wow just wow... I always look forward to updates from you and they never disappoint... Natalia: I can't decide if I want her to become a 'good guy' or be discovered by someone as a spy and 'dealt with'...

Mistress of Potions posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 7:22am

You have to wonder if Harry has an inkling of the type of attention he's attracting, especially from the internationals. The whole Russian Spy thing sounds like it may be a bit much, but I'm willing to see how it plays out. What boggles the mind is Harry's possible reactions if he finds out Kate is not on a legitimate (for her profession) "business trip."

As advanced as Harry is in the use and understanding of magic, he really is still 14 in some ways. His training was during altered time, but most of that was solo. Kate was a fantastic teacher, and Harry a natural talent, but he still hasn't had the years of adult-level interaction that would leave him able to think of everything a naturally aged 24 year old would be able to.

GBTtown posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 3:40am

Wow, just Wow! Great update to a very good story.

kstchr posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 2:16am

Exciting kick-boxing tournament! Some of the rules were contradictory, first saying that it's illegal to kick the back of the head, then in the next paragraph saying it's worth more points to kick the back of the head??????

You're one of the best fan fic writers I've ever read, seriously, so I always enjoy your work. Just watch the grammatical stuff and the spelling a bit more, such as to/too; loose/lose; choose/chose; you're/your -- for these can really make people cringe. I'm sorry if this screams criticism, but my thought is when a writer is as good as you are, mistakes like that just seem all the more glaring. I love your stories, and really hope to see some Harry & Ginny sometime...or a certain one of your steamy Harry/Ginny stories (the one about their enjoying their empty nest) finished, pretty please??? :)

Tlcatlady posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2014 1:55am

Aurora is a deep character and I'm glad you brought her in more for this one. Looking forward to the next update and I hope you have a good holiday season. TLC