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Riven posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 2:09am for 9 - London

awsome chaapter. love this story and simply cannot wait for the next chapter. so treawleny's the evil mastermind?
interesting choice, i have yet to see her as an evil genious in any story yet so you deffinetly get points for origionality which is rare considering how often fanfiction is written and there is only a set number of characters to normally use. anywho cant wait for the next chappie

UdderPD posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 1:48am for 9 - London

Brilliant as usual, thank you for sharing it.

TTFN UdderPD

Brad Crawford posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 1:44am for 9 - London

oh god this is going to be hilarious! i cant wait for trelawny to put her foot in it yet again! this is to tell you also i and a whole bunch of others will read anything you write tim. because it is always top quality writing! keep up the absolutely awesome writing!

David posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 1:44am for 9 - London

Well! What can one say after that? Super, and I can not wait for the next installment.
Only a true Grand Master could have other Masters beta his stories. Carry on..... and THANKS.
Dave

Sim posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 1:43am for 9 - London

*blinks*
Wow.
Confession: I usually scroll through Quidditch matches. I usually feel dissapointment when a large chunk of a chapter is wasted by a game.
Imagine my surprise when I found myself halfway through the second match and realised that I'd read every word.
Betas: I agree with you on the thing/think thing. I've never seen it written or heard it pronounced think either.
Betas that tease: Deserve a punishment worse than death for taunting us with a new chapter.
Pre-Beta announcement: I agree with you on this one too. It gives me time to read back through and get your story sorted in my head. I'm reading so many WIPs that it's nice to be able to remember which one belongs to this chapter.
Dumbledore: Very intrested in where this is going. It has the potential to be very chiched, but I'm expecting to be surprised with something new that I'd never considered before.
Something positive: I really like your character balance in this one. The way that the canon headliners are taking a back seat and giving support to the story without taking it over. It is nice to see adult Harry not running to his brainy bushy-haired friend the moment something tricky comes up.
Something negative: Plot structure is all I can come up with... and even then it's lame. The chapter both introduces new plots, and resolves old ones too. I usually don't like that. (It didn't bug me as much with this chapter as it usually does, no idea why). Introducing too many things in a chapter usually leaves it feeling cluttered, but this doesn't for some reason. *shrugs* Again, no idea why. The popping up of these plots in the beginning did effect the pace, however. I would have liked it to have emphasised the wait for the duel alot more. <-- told you it was lame.
Ad Nausium: It goes without saying that I want to read more! <insert fan-girl squee here>

Vtigo posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 1:25am for 9 - London

Great chapter, all we need now is another one right away. Lol

juhi1 posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 1:20am for 9 - London

brilliant! a three month wait was well deserved! now are we going to wait another three months for the next part? coz ill wait! :D

allygator posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:58am for 9 - London

Awesome Chapter!!! Loved the idea of Harry starting his own Quiddich league! Evil Sybil creeps me out...great cliffy at the end...it leaves all of us readers wanting more!

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:52am for 9 - London

Had to review again in response to another review I read after the fact.

As an American who is very proud of her country (while still being able to recognize and despise some of the actions that the government has taken on our behalf) I wanted to assure you that the so called 'bashing' was very much enjoyed in the spirit in which it was offerred. I found Harry's British wizard's take on American tea to be funny and lighthearted... and his comments regarding sports were also taken in the same vein. Americans are rather fanatical when it comes to our favorite sports and nothing that was said was anything more harmful than any sports fan would declare on behalf of a beloved team... add to that the fact that Harry himself is on the team that wone and it makes it very understandable.

With regards to the political 'bashing' that was referrenced... I thought you tied it into your story rather well. Even Harry commented on it as being a bit out of character and I thought that Percy's explanation was perfect. The British Wizarding public has proven itself to be easily lead by whomever is shouting the loudest... so the insulting, yet truthful, remarks make sense. As for the team's comments regarding their current employers... they seem to be nothing more than any professional who plays or works for a corporation would want to say about their bosses... it will be interesting to see if they are able to keep their ideal once they themselves are the owners.

Okay, I am done ranting at another's rant... and hereby offer my own rating: I give you 9.5 out of 10... The only reason you did not score perfectly is because I am a pushy reader who really wishes I could read the entire story NOW, dang it... oh, well. I will have to attempt to be patient... tee hee!

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:41am for 9 - London

totally loved this chapter and am eagerly looking forward to your next. PLEASE tell me that Gabriel and Harry will announce their engagment before Trelawney has a chance to put her scheme into place. Though Harry winning after the fact would be funny and embarrasing for her... since she did not 'forsee' it... I think it would be far more damaging to her pride if he was able to get the jump on her... especially since she has such a high opinion of herself with regards to her petty revenge scheme.

If she were to time it so that the pictures were delivered to the prophet after hogwarts loses the quidditch championship... she would see this as a way to invalidate both the victory as well as hurt harry on the eve of his triumph... but AFTER she delivers it and BEFORE it is published Harry and Gabriel reveal their status as Mates and that they are engaged to be married... then the prophet would be able to use the sweet pictures to validate the truth (for once) and it would be dealing a double blow to Trelawney when the very weapon she tried to weild is so quickly turned against her plots... just an wish I have.

No matter what you do, I totally love this and all of your other stories and eagerly look forward to the next one!

Louis IX posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:37am for 9 - London

Extremely very good, as always. Loved the Malfoy bashing.

parakletos posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:36am for 9 - London

Just a few notes

"You've got another think/g coming" - ALL of my betas suggested "another think coming" and I have no doubt at all that is the more correct. However, I have only ever pronounced and heard it as "another thing coming" so I overrode them.

It is 'another thing'

Loved the Quidditch; it makes a lot of sense to have the Seeker involved in the game rather than just circling above and the game I've just written has it that way too.

I can't help but see Malfoy as a Pantomime villain and as such I find him very disappointing.

Finally ... 'dove'?

All the best to you and yours.

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:31am for 9 - London

Now that's a proper ending to a chapter. I was getting worried that you were going to end on a clifie just before began.

As the saying goes "The Plot Thickens"

Lord Sivart posted a comment on Friday 12th May 2006 12:13am for 9 - London

I liked it, especially how you had malfoy flee instead of being arrested. It lets us know he's still out there and can cause some more mischief, either in hope or a sequel if you ever do one.

Claudia posted a comment on Thursday 11th May 2006 11:56pm for 9 - London

I love it. The scene in Olympe's office is great, especially Percy's acting. I hope we will see Ron's reaction to Harry leaving the Cannons next chapter.

'Thing' vs 'think' - according to my English teacher it used to be 'think' (meaning you will need to think again about the issue at hand) but has changed since roughly WWII so nowadays most dictionaries use 'thing'.

Thank you and you betas for publishing such a great chapter.

Claudia

Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Thursday 11th May 2006 11:32pm for 9 - London

I hav ebeen waiting for a while for this update. Thank You very much. I look forward to your next installment

PhoenixAnkaa posted a comment on Thursday 11th May 2006 10:39pm for 9 - London

Once again an amazing chapter to this phenominal fic. Please, I am emploring you, do not make us wait as long for the next update.

Your Quidditch scenes are masterfully written and I can not wait for the final match.

Thank you for the most enjoyable read. *sits down to re-read the entire fic for the 6th time*

PA

Rettet181 posted a comment on Thursday 11th May 2006 10:35pm for 9 - London

Simply put, I love it. Anything written by you is bound to be incredible, and this chapter was wonderful. You managed to bring me to outright laughter a few times (and bursting out laughing when you're sitting alone in your room makes your family slightly worried that you've lost your sanity). Can't wait for the next chapter. I'll just pray that you've already started it. ^_^

unperfectwolf posted a comment on Thursday 11th May 2006 10:28pm for 9 - London

Oh wow. I was waiting for this! I adore this story - I've read the first bit several times over again, and will probably continue to do so for a while. I can't wait for more. Tell your betas they do an awesome job and that while we want more (nowplz) we completely understand that yes, this much takes a while to take care of.

Anyways. I really like where this is. I never thouhgt of Sybill as a no good character. Annoying and sometimes stupid, yes, but never the 'evil' one.

Nanio posted a comment on Thursday 11th May 2006 10:27pm for 9 - London

I love the chapter. I'd give it 8 out of 10 (for reasons I will explain later).

I expected something more climactic than Gabrielle feeling pain at disobeying an order, but your way was far better than anything I would have thought of. The Quidditch matches were very good, and I loved the staff competition. I also like the whole "create our own club" idea that Harry and the gang made. The Harry/Gabrielle interactions are getting much more intimate, and I’m glad to see that Harry is falling in love with her in a way that seems to transcend the bond.

Trelawney... that's a great idea! This is the first time I've ever seen anyone write such an interesting Divination professor. I really do like where you're going with that one.

Here are the problems I had with your work. Please note that I do not mean to offend. The society bashing was FAR too much. You insulted the English Wizarding world six ways from Sunday, but you've been doing it much more subtly in previous chapters. Here you're shoving it into everyone's face.

Then there's the America bashing: Yes, I understand that most other countries do not like the U.S.'s global actions on many levels. Yes, I understand that we are insanely proud and do not have the best (or healthiest) eating habits around. However, I love my country and felt slightly insulted by some of these remarks. I have had English tea before (a friend's father pays ridiculous amounts to have it imported) and enjoy it immensely, but I also like iced tea like Lipton brisk. I didn’t like how you insulted the U.S. so much for little reasonable provocation within the story. I don’t read fan fiction to be told that my country sucks.

Then there’s the corporation bashing you did with Harry, the twins, The Quidditch girls, and Ollie. I understand you did it to show how many, many people (including myself) feel about major league sports, but it seemed a bit oddly placed in this story. If you’d have focused more on the Quidditch and less on Harry/Gabrielle I could have seen it fit better, but with the chapter divided evenly between the two these comments left me thinking “Why is this in here?”

I love the story, the plot and scenes are awesome, but the bashing is a bit much. I really liked it. Like I said: 8 out of 10.