RedPhoenix_2k3 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:11am for Chapter 3
I like this story and this Harry. I agree with your assessment of the first half of the chapter but the latter half makes up for it.
The part I loved the most was Sidney. Is he any relation to Wilson?
Thanks for the Christmas update.
cah11 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 5:52am for Chapter 3
An excellent update as always! I am very much interested in where this story appears to be going, I too agree with your dislike of the very cliched "saint Potter who acts like he is 30" he's a teenager, with all a teenagers faults and mentalities. Hope the next chapter comes out easier for you than this one appears to have.
ladysavay posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 5:48am for Chapter 3
I liked it. I think it was just enough and not too much re: the whole training and time dilation thing.
It was also nice to see a mature Harry act like it for a change. He really is older due to the dilator and his life and what he's gone through had to have aged him much more than JKR ever showed us. Any kid going through what he had by age 14 would have acted a whole lot differently than she portrayed him, and I think you had him act and react just about right considering his 'training'.
MartinEB72 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 5:44am for Chapter 3
There was way too much stuff that was happening in the Room for you to 'show' without it becoming tedious. So this chapter turned out great.
Zucht posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 5:25am for Chapter 3
Thank you for this chapter - it was like another present today.
Brigrove posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 5:17am for Chapter 3
what can I say. A bit silly, especially the first chapter or so, but enjoyable fun
Riegert8 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 3:47am for Chapter 3
This is a good chapter, Normal I like Fleur. But I think that Harry could do better then her in this story
Luan Mao posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 3:41am for Chapter 3
Thank you for this chapter. It was a better Christmas present than the combined gifts from my family, namely a pair of lightweight work gloves.
I noticed a few rough spots, but too much "tell" wasn't one of them. It wasn't a problem here, I think, because the months went by in isolation, with very little to mark passage of time. When you look back at time spent like this, or write about it, there's very little to note other than an overall sense of accomplishment and a few isolated incidents. I think you nailed it.
Merry (or Happy) Christmas to you and yours.
bonnie posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 3:04am for Chapter 3
really enjoyed the update. I can understand your problem with the time dilation thing but it works for aging Harry and personally I like the more self assured confidant Harry in this story. Thanks for the Christmas present and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours.
pdc posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 2:33am for Chapter 3
As always a satisfying read, I had been waiting for the next installment for quite some time and was very pleased to see the new chapter. Thank you for the welcome Christmas gift.
ps as always your characterizations are wonderful. I especially like Gabriele.
Regards and thanks pdc
brad posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 2:04am for Chapter 3
Aren't you nice, Tim, for giving us this Christmas present!! For me it was a very nice way to start off Boxing day (being ten hours ahead of you). With the HP fandom slowing down I don't have the chance to sit back and enjoy a fanfic as often as I'd like, so I appreciate such opportunities all the more.
I thought this chapter was nicely constructed. I found my feelings and thoughts oscillating throughout; thinking something, then having my concerns addressed by the story itself just a paragraph or two later. I think it's good craftsmanship when a tale can mould itself to the reader like that.
For example, I think I've mentioned before that I don't much like the idea of Harry's having an 'escort' foisted on him, a 14 year old boy (thank goodness you've grown him up!). I was thinking that again as I read this chapter, but then accepted that it was his experiences with Kate that allowed him to turn the tables on Michael. I thought that was a nice application of Kate's tuition.
(Well, the first time, the shock of the joke worked well. The 'sweetie' thing later on was pushing it a bit further than I liked (not being much of a fan of such (male/male) things). Funny once, not so funny the second time, Harry.)
But right after thinking that you gave us another cool scene highlighting Harry's sophistication, viz the wine and such. Nice. It had me nodding my head thinking yeah, okay, I'm glad we were given these (non-sex!) examples of the Harry/Kate lessons on which we can hang our hats.
I admit it, I'm a big fan of the 'Saint Potter and the Chastity of fan fiction' stories - one reason why I like yours :-) - and having a fling with nothing much attached isn't my default mode. But it's a reality of life these days I guess. Anyway, given that that was what you are writing, Harry/Annie was polished and pleasant to read. Totally non-slimy, Harry's honest and above board, everything open. Probably the most probable way that the Jeconais of the "saint Potter" ilk would write something like this if he was stretching his writing scope and I'm glad you penned it that way. I'm pleased you kept Harry as a good guy and likeable.
I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable about the touchy-feely Harry/Gabrielle thing when that, too, was addressed almost as I had the thought, near the end. Maybe my inexperience with little girls was showing there. Anyway, with both the earlier chat between Harry and Michael about eight year old Veela and then their talk at the end about tactile empathy I'm reminded/settled about that, how Gabrielle is a cute little eight year old girl and Harry is playing big brother/tutor. (I probably also was hobbled a bit from my faded memory of the earlier chapters.)
There seem to have been a few stories/authors of late pushing the time dilation thing ... well, maybe just a couple of authors. You gave your set-up a couple of innovative touches which kept it interesting - Sidney (and his 'family'!!), Harry's learning-as-he-went-along (rather than being an expert in time expansion, and learning, from the very start - that was clever of you, causing us to advance along with him rather than presenting us with a huge slab of suspension-of-disbelief-please-dear-reader right at the start), and the sentient Hogwarts thing (it's always very nice to imagine that the gods are on Harry's (and, therefore, the readers') side).
Other little things that rounded things out nicely - okay, I'm a Hermione fan, but it was still good to have you address Harry's companions and keep things a little balanced there. Her "speaking to the older students, and it was dragging her out into being a better rounded person" - that was nice to see/read. I could well see how smart!Hermione, had she been led into extending herself into an upper age bracket, might have indeed been more than the something of a book-smart-but-what-else? girl of the canon. Just once sentence, but it helped add a heap of non-Harry balance to the chapter, a pleasing extension.
Plus the reminders as to the Harry/Hermione friendship - his giving the brotherly talk to Viktor, the plan to attend Beauxbatons together - that was good stuff too.
Thank you and Kokopelli both for the Christmas present! Best wishes to you both.
Rob Clark posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 1:38am for Chapter 3
Happpy Christmas, and thanks for the present. I thought this chapter worked fine, it's hard to do a time compression training bit without going to unnecessary detail, so this way worked fine, just hitting the highlights.
Gardengirl posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 1:37am for Chapter 3
Great Christmas present - thanks, Tim! I like your method of growing Harry up in a hurry... and his pragmatic, utilitarian approach to life makes perfect sense to me. That said, the communing with Hogwarts was really cool, and his friendship with Gabrielle delightful... a neat change from Hope and HEA. Hope your Christmas was great, and that 2011 brings great things for you.
NuitTombee posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 1:23am for Chapter 3
I loved the chapter.
Oh and... M E R R Y - C H R I S T M A S !
Tumshie posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 1:13am for Chapter 3
I liked this chapter, it showed enough of Harry's self doubts to keep him human and moved the story along quite well.
Thank you for sharing
ching965 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 12:35am for Chapter 3
Phenomenal as always. I love that you've moved away from the Saint Potter mentality. Thank you. I can't wait for more.
lwj2 posted a comment on Saturday 25th December 2010 11:57pm for Chapter 3
Thank you for dispensing with St. Harry the Chaste.
I thoroughly enjoyed these three chapters and look forward to more from you, they are an excellent Christmas present!
ED PLATT posted a comment on Saturday 25th December 2010 11:54pm for Chapter 3
Great chapter thanks for posting it
Brian64 posted a comment on Saturday 25th December 2010 10:26pm for Chapter 3
When I saw the new chapter I just had to read the whole story again. Still as entertaining as the first time. I'm kinda sad to see the 'no one true love' comment in your A/N, but I suspect that's more because I'm used to stories with them. Maybe you could at least leave the door open for us to imagine Gabrielle finally getting him in another 8 or 10 years?
The saddest part about reading your fics though is getting to the last sentence, and realising there isn't another page to go. I think you should get hold of one of those time dilators and use it. :)
Joe Fenton posted a comment on Saturday 25th December 2010 10:11pm for Chapter 3
Good chapter. I like the transition from humor to more adult in the story. It has a good balance between the two now.