jayjons posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 2:20pm for Chapter 3
loving it. cant wait for more
Crys posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 2:06pm for Chapter 3
I see what you mean about the "feel" of the first third of this chapter. Kinda choppy. No real fix to it, though, if you still want to get the time and self-education done.
I like Michael and Marie. Harry's flirting with him was a nice touch. Not only amusing but also shows his maturity and comfort level.
Also glad the bodyguard group tried to chide him for what he did. He put them into the position of not being able to do their jobs.
In that ending a/n, did you mean "serial" or "serious"? Jus' curious.
Even though it's clearly a building chapter, it's still entertaining.
gadriam posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 2:05pm for Chapter 3
Thank you. Finding this update was a much better and more appreciated gift than the very odd sweater i received from my family.
hordac85 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 1:55pm for Chapter 3
nice. keep it up
Slytherin66 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 1:25pm for Chapter 3
A great chapter I am glad Harry is getting stronger and quickly. It was sweet that Harry missed Gabrielle so much no matter the kind of person Harry becomes I hope he is always nice to Gabrielle and spends some time with her. It good Harry is keeping his promise to help her learn magic and that she is doing well.
I do like Kate she is doing Harry so much good Harry lacked confidence and self worth but also his character tends to be too moral and ridged he is better off being more open minded and easy going about everything except that which is truly vital. I am most pleased Harry is becoming more self aware and adaptable and his knowledge and understanding of woman is useful and will cut down on his problems or the number of people wanting him dead or to control him but most of all a not clueless Harry is a nice change for his character.
With Gabrielle, Adrienne, Melissa and Hermione that had been some shopping trip. Good line “Melissa had shouted at him for ten minutes for that one… then given him a big hug.”
I liked how Harry stopped playing with time when he was told and treated Hogwarts with some respect I think people would take it for granted or not bother listening to it.
Very funny “Gabrielle’s surrogate legs.” It was a clever idea to make Michael a Veela tricky questions can be dealt with and I always thought someone would need to be Veela or very powerful to have a Veela wife and keep her happy. A nice form of revenge by Harry and I liked the banter “You’re flirting with papa?” and “It’s against the rules for a man to flirt with another man’s wife, so what choice do I have?” both excellent lines its rare for Harry to Have fun and be so open being around Veela I think it would be a must.
It’s a good job Gabrielle will be at the ball I think she would be most upset if she was not and I would hate for her to cry the hug was good as was the “swap”
The socially more aware and educated Harry is fantastic acting like an adult suits him and will impress the Delacour family his rapid exit was a nice twist.
It was a nice gesture that Harry helped Annie along to achieve what she wanted. Well done Gabrielle such a great way to end or start a conversation ““he does smell of girl.”
I nice insight into Veela I think they would enjoy physical contact but it’s nice that a Child Veela seeks out contact from those they are loved by its also nice for Harry given his lack of hugs and affection from those who could be family. It is good Harry and Hermione have been welcomed to Beauxbatons I hope you do something on how Albus reacts to the news.
A nice end to the chapter for all of Harry’s maturity he still would benefit from a father figure or friend in his life.
Thanks for this chapter I liked the changes to Harry’s character and that sex is a part of his life Saint Potter can get boring and being a teenager is something that can be understood. Interesting are you not planning on having Harry marry a Veela or being with one by the stories end maybe as an epilogue Harry would be happy in France and spending his life with a Veela or at least fathering a child or two with one unless not being influenced by the Veela Charm is really a big deal for Veela/Potter realtionships. I look forward to the next chapter.
Nic Clarke posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 11:47am for Chapter 3
Another great chapter, Tim. The humour might be a bit more understated, but I don't really see the 'problems' you were concerned about in the chapter. To get a truly mature Harry in a short period, it has to be something like this or the time turner method (a la 'Hermione's Plan' by Chem Prof) and unless you want to exhaustively detail several years' worth of training there's not much of an alternative to a lot of summarising. And Diamond White - paintstripper in a bottle. I often wonder how the hell I managed to drink so much of it in the early 90s . . . Looking forward to more!
Dervish posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 10:52am for Chapter 3
Tim ,you are your own worst critic. I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. It was a highlight of a Christmas where i am away from my family due to mechanical failure. Thank you for continuing.
piad2691 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 9:26am for Chapter 3
I am going to nagg you. When do we get the next chapter? 8 months are really tooooooo loooonnng!! Just telling you. I love this Harry. When I began to read fanfiction, I started with the innocent ones, now I want stories with a bit more umphh. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
lord_silver posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 9:02am for Chapter 3
Thanks you for the update. It was a great Christmas present.
Loved seeing a grown up & mature Harry & looking forward to the next chapter
flashgordon posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 8:46am for Chapter 3
A Christmas present with a Leslie Nielsen reference for a stocking stuffer
badboy1cdx posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 8:29am for Chapter 3
Well, as I don't know the general direction you're going with this story I can't really comment on your dissatisfaction with this chapter...I will tell you though that I definitely enjoyed it...The use of the time-turning cliche is often very useful and I found no fault with it in this story...I will admit I had wished to see some actual smut, but you're the author so I can't really complain...Keep up the good work and can't wait for the next chapter!
Chewy posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 7:43am for Chapter 3
This is turning into my favorite story that you have written i love the way Harry is acting and Gabrielle is getting to a favorite character in this story. I hope you have time to write more stories like this and get the other stories finished if real life will let you.
Wolfric posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 7:19am for Chapter 3
Well Happy Christmas to you as well and thanks for the lovely present. I will admit exposition is not generally as captivating as action scenes but I didn't feel that these drug on and on as sometimes happens in other stories. I'm delighted to see Harry becoming a more well rounded person and seeing the process is fun. Thanks for writing. W.
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 7:19am for Chapter 3
Hmmm. Reading the epub, I missed out on the pre & post notes. And I know a lot of people love Bobmin's disclaimers nearly as much as the stories. I wonder if you should consider including the pre & post in the ebook formats?
It's hard to go anywhere near time manipulation and the RoR without stepping into cliche. Sidney (and Janice and little Christopher) helped a bit with that, but even then, I'm glad it wasn't the focus of the chapter. Of course, now I'm expecting Gabrielle to use the same approach to age up enough to match him.
Good chapter and a fun story, thanks for sharing it with us.
MonCappy posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:54am for Chapter 3
I liked this latest update to the story. One bit that I did find interesting is how Fleur's father is a Veela. I don't think there is anything in canon that indicates they only come in female form, so having a male Veela shouldn't be a problem. I was kind of hoping Fleur's mother was a normal witch as it would be an interesting twist if Fleur and Gabrielle inherited their Veela nature from their father instead of their mother.
I will also state that I like how you have Harry acting as a normal teenage boy in regards to hooking up with girls. So long as he is honest about the fact that he not looking for a long term relationship, I see nothing wrong with him fooling around so long as he practices safe sex.
I do wonder how his situation with Fleur will turn out. I can't see things staying as is and I suspect they'll come to some form of confrontation at some point.
I did notice some spelling errors interspersed throughout the story. You mentioned in your notes about the issue of telling and not showing. I happen to think the instance of it in this chapter isn't too egregious, so I don't see it as being a major issue for the chapter. While it is a bit of a quick and dirty method of maturing, showing it all would have required several chapters and bogged the story down a bit in what would essentially be minutia.
Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:47am for Chapter 3
Excellent as always. You have not lose your touch... in fact, it seems to have become a bit more refined. Thank you for sharing.
Danny K posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:46am for Chapter 3
Thanks for all your efforts in this and your other stories. Merry Christmas!!
jerrway69 posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:45am for Chapter 3
I love the story so far and i love the relationship between harry and gabby. keep up the good work.
NemoHac posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:40am for Chapter 3
Definitely didn't notice those flaws you mentioned. Seems up to your usual high standard.
I very much enjoyed this chapter - thanks!
bkfriend posted a comment on Sunday 26th December 2010 6:27am for Chapter 3
Merry Christmas! I liked the way this chapter flowed, the byplay with the puppets/dolls in the ROR really made the passage of time more realistic. I think you have a definite winner here and the byplay with Michael (I believe the first male Delacour veela I think I have seen). Anywho, please keep up the great work I love to read your work.