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Reviews

Ciroth posted a comment on Saturday 27th December 2008 4:58pm for 8 - Finishing

This was a great story. I do hope you write more with this world.

miahtech posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 9:23pm for 8 - Finishing

This is one of my favorite fanfics of all time. :) Do you know if we'll see the sequel finishing up part at some point? Many thanks.

Hemotem posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 6:33pm for 8 - Finishing

Once again I find myself reading a great story and hope to see more of it in the future. I love what you have started and would love to write in this AU but alas I am a poor writer and could not do justice to what you have started. I thank you once again for a great story.



Hemotem

Nights_Silhouette posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd December 2008 1:28pm for 8 - Finishing

A great story, keep it up.

Robin42069 posted a comment on Tuesday 18th November 2008 8:11pm for 8 - Finishing

good i'm not much for reveiwing so i'll just say i really liked it great job on the story

boricuagizmo1 posted a comment on Friday 10th October 2008 9:30am for 8 - Finishing

please continue this story i got hooked on your style of writing you made the characters seem so life like that i laughed when they did. it's awesome i love the way you write.

Andrius posted a comment on Thursday 9th October 2008 5:14pm for 8 - Finishing

It was a nice story and I definitely enjoyed it a lot. It's also definitely not the best story that I've read. I see now that it's the first big story that you've ever written, and it shows, as your other stories are, well, better.

That's not to say that "White Knight, Grey Queen" is bad in any way. Many other fanfic authors could only dream of a "first fic" this grand.

Andrius posted a comment on Thursday 9th October 2008 5:04pm for 8 - Finishing

Yay, so it DID end with a threesome just like I hoped! xD

motherjenjen posted a comment on Monday 6th October 2008 2:55am for 8 - Finishing

ok the main scene that i want from this as a sequil of sorts is harry pansy and ginny's "talk"
please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
LUV JEN

Bobboky posted a comment on Monday 1st September 2008 8:58pm for 8 - Finishing

Very Good, I loved this story

joeBob posted a comment on Friday 29th August 2008 12:13am for 8 - Finishing

Could be better (list on request (I'll hold my breath ;-) ).

Still a pretty fine "feel good" piece.

Anya McLerie posted a comment on Monday 25th August 2008 9:26pm for 8 - Finishing

Sadly, I laughed my way delicously through this story! Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful tale! And,I'll be late for work tomorrow for sure.

thyrokio posted a comment on Wednesday 20th August 2008 9:02am for 8 - Finishing

INcredibly good, i was almost on adrenaline at some point!

gizachick posted a comment on Saturday 16th August 2008 10:09pm for 8 - Finishing

I really enjoyed that, and I'd love to see any additional little stories you have in mind about this particular harryverse. ;)

kjd posted a comment on Friday 1st August 2008 8:04pm for 8 - Finishing

no matter how any times i read this story i ejoy it,
dont rremember if i reviewed this story before or what i put inn them if i did but ill say it anyway, love the humor in it, i like how you got harry and pansy together there arent many authors who can get them together without screwing it up in some way, i also loved the 2 bits at the end about taking the giants down =D

hope you keep writing

kjd

xenowriter posted a comment on Saturday 26th July 2008 10:28pm for 8 - Finishing

Completely Stunning thx for writing such a wonderful peace of litreature that said

did u ever get to write those one shots?

Lady_Readwolf posted a comment on Friday 25th July 2008 11:20pm for 8 - Finishing

This was a very interesting and entertaining read. I'm glad that I gave in to my roommate's persisting and finally read it! ^__^ I must admitt, I'm seriously hoping you get around to writing some follow-ups soon. If not least for the trioka's culumation. That alone deserves an epiloge. ^__^ Happy writings!

goddessa39 posted a comment on Sunday 13th July 2008 5:49pm for 8 - Finishing

I'm looking forward to a minisequel that includes some H/P/G love in private and something where multiple people see things, the quiditch match, Hermione's arguments, whoever you pair Hermione and Daphne up with (are you pairing those two up together?), and then some...

I love this story and am still eagerly awaiting little bits from it. Tah.

Islander posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 8:58pm for 8 - Finishing

Of all your fanfictions, "White Knight, Grey Queen" is my favorite. In fact, of all fanfictions in general, "White Knight, Grey Queen" is definitely in my Top Three, along with "Stranger in an Unholy Land" and "The Seduction of Severus Snape." I would not have said that the first time I read it, but by now, after reading it six times, I am quite in love with this fanfiction.

What makes it such a great story? Well, first of all, I think it has THE perfect plot structure. The first half of the story (in word count, not chapter count) takes place largely at the Parkinson Manor, and it spends its time building up a beautiful romance between two lovingly-fleshed-out characters. The second half then branches out into a larger setting with more characters and a great deal of action, all of which culminates in a grand climax. However, it's more complex than simply romance-opens-up-to-action-then-finish-with-a-battle.

Firstly, this story would be nothing without the imagination that went into creating a Pansy/Harry romance. By itself it is a daring premise: I doubt this story would have gotten many reads or reviews had it not been for your previous popularity with "This Means War!" and its more conventional ships. Some authors, after writing a really popular story that is great but nevertheless "conventional", keep on writing the same type of stories. I saw one author on Fiction Alley who wrote a really popular Draco/Harry story--I went to her profile page and saw 16 other stories. They were all romance. And they were ALL Draco/Harry. Talk about boring! Instead, however, you chose to use your popularity as a tool to allow you to stretch your imagination and deliver inventive stories to audiences who would have otherwise stuck with the next Harry/Ginny fic that came along. And for that I commend you.

Not only is the premise promising, but you make so much out of it. You waste no time in cleverly manipulating canon into supporting a Protagonist!Pansy. Then you give her the most commendable parents I have ever seen in fandom, who also happen to be two of the best original characters I've seen, ever. I would kill to have parents like Malcolm and Gruoch, and reading about them is the next best thing.

As always, your idealist streak colors the entire story as Harry becomes super powerful and, with the help of a few well-chosen allies, singlehandedly turns the Wizarding World in the right direction. It is something that could never happen in real life, but, as I've said before, it is fabulous to dream about, and grandly entertaining to read. What's better, this idealist streak is a lot more refined than it was in "This Means War!" and even "Hope." I think maybe it's because of the perfect plot structure that I alluded to before: you spend so much of the first act building up a few select characters and their special romance that, when the idealist things really start to happen, they feel a lot more authentic.

Also, the second act wouldn't be as fun to read if it wasn't for the perfect first act. After seeing Harry and Pansy (as well as Malcolm and Gruoch) in a cloistered environment, being trained and prepared for the impending action, it is so delicious to watch as they suddenly enter the "Real World", as it were--the world outside the Parkinson Manor, the world where all their training is going to come into play. You don't know how much I love Chapter 6, where Harry comes back to school and creates epic-sized drama in the Great Hall and the Room of Requirement.

Speaking of epic-sized drama, let's talk about the relationships of Harry, Pansy, and their friends. Loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it! The way Ron and Hermione react to Harry, the way Pansy reacts to Hermione and Ginny, the way Ginny reacts to Harry and Pansy, etc. There is too much about it that I love, I can't write it all down.

The only complaint I have is this: Ron. As I've said before, I'm tired of Jerk!Ron. Ron is unfairly used and abused in fanfiction, and he is shortchanged time and time again. I like how he eventually gets his head screwed on right, but for once I'd like to see Ron be the one who reacts positively while one of Harry's other friends (say, Hermione) is the jerk. You got it right in "Hope." Now this may be a personal preference of mine, but making Ron a jerk for a good portion of the story slows down his character development so that, by the time the climax comes, Harry and his friends are so totally bonded together while Ron plays the fifth wheel.

I could also complain about Evil!Dumbledore, but it actually didn't bother me in this story. Neither did it bother me that Umbridge returned when she was clearly sacked at the end of book 5. :D It created a good deal of sympathy for Harry, and I liked it.

Other things I loved (there is no way I am going to remember it all): the Dusley's comeuppance. Daphne joking that Pansy fell in love with Harry, and it turning out to be true. Pansy's talk with Harry about death, and the dare she gave her ill-fated cousin. Malcolm having to teach Harry how to seduce his daughter. Harry and Pansy breaking the course record. Harry contacting McGonagall for the first time. Anything relating to Dobby (I love that little bugger!). Ginny's relationships with Harry and Pansy. The four girls staging a snog with Harry in the Great Hall. Tonks revealing herself in Voldemort's hideout. The final battle. The ending.

The ending. Let's talk about the ending. Specifically, what exactly is going on with Pansy, Harry, and Ginny. My brother is CONVINCED they become a threesome. At first I was like, "No way! They're not a threesome!" But repeated rereadings have led me to believe that this is a real possibility. Keeping my mind open and going through the text, there are many moments that hint towards such a relationship. Most obviously, Ginny loves Harry. Less obviously, Ginny loves Pansy. "But not in that way!" I said at first. But maybe in "that way?" There are a few hints that led me to doubt Ginny's full heterosexuality. Like the fact that she kissed Pansy at the party. Or that she was so willing to sleep in bed with both her and Harry. And, of course, her and Pansy's mutual declaration of love via Legilimency. Maybe those are just intensely platonic feelings, but then again, maybe not.

But Harry wouldn't stand for it, would he? Well, maybe he would. At the end he admits to himself that he has similar feelings for Ginny as he does for Pansy. And throughout the fic he (or you) keeps referring to the fact that, had circumstances been different, he might be with Ginny instead. Also there is the fact that Aragog refers to Pansy and Ginny as his "mates" (plural).

But Pansy wouldn't stand for it, would she? Well, maybe she would, as well. After all, she did invite Ginny into bed with them. And she considers Ginny part of her family in a way that's much more fiercely protective than her feelings for Daphne or Hermione.

So the question remains: threesome or no threesome? At first I thought that the idea of a threesome was reading into things way too much, and maybe it still is. However, the hints are there, and they are either leading or misleading me in the direction.

This should be bugging the hell out of me. Heck, it IS bugging the hell out of me. But it only makes me enjoy the story more. I love these little puzzles! And I think you purposely left this one open-ended for a reason. One, this is the equivalent of a PG-13 fic, made appropriate for a teen audience, and the idea of a threesome is a bit of a delicate topic to broach in a serious PG-13 fic. Secondly, a threesome is, well, a threesome. State directly that Harry, Ginny, and Pansy are in a threesome at the end, and you create a spectacle that totally draws attention away from the complexities of the issues, potentially ruining it. If this were an R-rated sex comedy, it'd be fine to make them an overt threesome, but, once again, this is a serious PG-13 story.

This is, of course, assuming that the threesome idea is a valid one.

Moving on.

I just want to close by saying that this is truly a stupendous story. I have not named everything I like about it (just now I remembered how much I love the idea of Remus being Minister of Magic), because it would just take me too darn long. And while every author loves long reviews, I don't want to drown the entire review board. So... congratulations, Jeconais! "White Knight, Grey Queen" is a resounding 10/10, a must-read fanfic for any fanfic reader, and a masterpiece that earns your "A-list" status in the world of fandom.

Shadalarion2 posted a comment on Friday 27th June 2008 9:13pm for 8 - Finishing

Good reading. Waiting for more chapters or a sequel. Like to see the wizarding world and muggle world merging together without the witchhunts.