White Knight, Grey Queen
8 - Finishing
By Jeconais
Reviews
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Friday 23rd September 2005 8:57am for 8 - Finishing
Excellent work. Tonk's utility in battle was a
shock, but fit well for some odd reason.
Bobmin365 posted a comment on Friday 23rd September 2005 6:27am for 8 - Finishing
A number of people have been talking about White Knight, Grey Queen on various locations and when I first checked it out a few weeks back I thought oh crap, another Harry falls for a Slytherin story.
I stand here humbly craving your forgiveness. This is not your typical Harry/Slytherin story. It is far much more and I am in awe of your story crafting skills.
These aren't chapters, they are Novels unto themselves. I thought we made long chapters at around 13K-15k words per chapter. But these blow my chapters away.
The plot is intense, the story line credible. If I had to say this story lacked any flaw, I'd say it should have an epilogue trying up all the loose ends instead of a bunch of short one short stories.
I recommend this story to anyone! Its a marvelous tale, highly readable and re-readable!
- Bob
Catherine posted a comment on Friday 23rd September 2005 1:41am for 8 - Finishing
Wow. I've enjoyed this story from the beginning, and this chapter was well worth the wait. I look forward to rereading it and seeing what I've missed in my hurry to find out "what happens next." I can hardly wait to see what you come up with next. Thank you.
Jane Average posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 6:14pm for 8 - Finishing
Well, that was an absolutely amazing ending... and you're right, I'd love to see, oh, about the next twenty years of this story ;)
I was impressed with your take on Ron and Hermione's relationship. So often in fanfic, they have a convenient breakup which is designed to free up one or both of them for a relationship with another character, but now that you mention it I CAN see where the trio dynamic would be a problem -- for Ron, at least.
I also loved your Mad-Eye and the way Harry deals with Snape and ... well dozens of other things, I'm sure, I probably ought to have taken notes :)
Anyway... thank you so much for sharing. It was brill :)
neely61 posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 5:43pm for 8 - Finishing
Excellent ending! Can't wait to see what little one(?)shots you have in mind for this! "and a certain ghost has a very serious request to make of Harry so that all its dreams can come true." Sounds like a Nearly Headless Nick fic may be in in the works. Side stories aside, this definately needs an epilouge.
Prince Charon posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 5:19pm for 8 - Finishing
Wow. Cool beyond words.
Danielle posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 5:09pm for 8 - Finishing
Very wonderful! I really really like the fight scene. It was wonderfully done. I wish I could write like that. Oh well just have to work at it. hmmmmm Ginny and Pansy both of Harry's mates interesting twist. I can't wait to read the mini tories that go with this story.
David posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 4:38pm for 8 - Finishing
Excellent fic!! I really like how you handled the evolution of the H/P/G ship. Really, really well done (it moved quickly - but not too fast considering what was happening in the story). I'm really looking forward to an outtake where H/P/G discuss there relationship and where it is going.
Also - let me just say a personal thank you for sharing your work. I'm going through some very large problems at home and being able to read your work allows me to get my mind off of them for a little while - especially this week. Thank you - thank you so so much!!!!!
David
Patches posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 3:43pm for 8 - Finishing
Wonderful. I really like this. Of course you left some cliff hangers! Makes me think. Thank you for updating. I am looking forward to the "sequels". All of your stories are great. Thank you so much for sharing your gift.
I am a dedicated fan!
Louis posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 3:39pm for 8 - Finishing
Wow. It was an impressive work of art, and I don't know where to start my praising. Inventiveness, good characters... it's all really good and I can't thank you enough for keeping me awake at nights. On the side note: you /really/ are a H/G shipper, are you not? I like how you did it, though, and, if you find the time, a closing chapter would be appreciated. But I like TMW, too. Decisions, decisions...
Demi posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 3:11pm for 8 - Finishing
I loved your story would love to read more of your work.
Tenshi Zujin
Lucia posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 2:41pm for 8 - Finishing
so loved it but tomorrows work and i have 5h to sleep. really, really awesome *zzz* ...want a sequel... ... zz zzzzz
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 2:15pm for 8 - Finishing
Actually, they should have been Blackhawks, not Apaches, albeit LONGBOW-equipped Blackhawks (or better yet, a mix of both Apaches and Blackhawks, which is what the 160th SOAR (formerly Task Force 160) would employ). The *Americans just down the road* would be the DEVGRP (read SEAL Team Six) detachment at Poole. (The fact that Croaker has contact with the SBS, and is a likely reservist in the RN, would certainly also lead to contacts with American Muggle SpecOps forces, if not American wizarding SpecOps forces, which would have to include the SEALs in general, and SIX in particular.)
zagan posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 1:44pm for 8 - Finishing
When i start to read this story, I had already read your other Harry Potter fanfic and I loved them. A harry/pansy even whith your skill, I was septic, but I tried. And of course I love it. It's fun, dramatic intense and romantic. This last chapter is the best of all. I really like how you handle Ron, no basshing but perfectly in character. The reference to Dune touche my heart (I love Dune, that perhaps explain it). The passage whith the girl kissing Harry is the funiest of all. You surprise me with the breaking between Hermione and Ron, but that was perfect. The figth at the end is beautiful in is own sort of way. That a the end Harry finish with Pansy And Ginny is not so surprising but well played. Again wonderful story.
ps: I hope you understood, english is not my first language.
Orion posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 1:39pm for 8 - Finishing
WHOOOO! Great finish. Don't forget the Election scene too.
Congrats on finishing the long fic. I first read Wild Horses some time ago on the XanderZone group, and later TMW at FFN. I await the conclusions (though, hopefully a lot more development before) to those two fics as well.
Oh, and of course Lines of Convergence, it amazes me that you all are working together on that.
J posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 12:53pm for 8 - Finishing
The IRA reference would be considered an insult to some, if not all your Irish readers.
Not a supporter or condone any of their actions. The struggle spawned out of protecting their communities from the B-Special and the British Army.
Apart from that excellent fic.
Spark Soliton posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 12:37pm for 8 - Finishing
Yay - brilliant. It's refreshing to read AU-fics when they're this good, and this one very, very good! Liked the way to slowly wove Ginny, Pansy and Harry together - it made sense, and not in a sordid way either. I think the discussion between them is going to be interesting to say the least!
I certainly will look forward to reading more of your stories from this universe as it has been a most pleasurable and enjoyable read!
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 12:31pm for 8 - Finishing
A most excellent wrap-up to the story. I've enjoyed the whole effort and this finished it quite nicely.
My only real problem is that the AH-64A or AH-64D (one or the other, AH-64A/D is a nonsense designation) is strictly an attack helicopter wtih no provisions for troops. I can see a couple MH-60L "Blackhawks" from the 160th SOAR, AUS ("NIghtstalkers"), serving in the same role, though. They have much the same sensors, the External Stores System can carry as much in weaponry as the Apache, over short distances, anyway, and still carry a squad inside. They've only got a Minigun in 7.62 Nato or 5.56 nato, but with that many bullets coming out, the diameter doesn't count that much. That's the only real "nit" I have to pick and that's mainly from a thorough-going aircraft enthusiast.
I will compliment you on the nice build up of the 3-way relationship between Ginny, Pansy,a nd Harry; as it developed in the story, it definitely rang true. *chuckle* I didn't even see it coming 'til I went back in retrospect and looked again.
Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Thursday 22nd September 2005 11:54am for 8 - Finishing
Whew! That was quite a slog! You could have actually got away with dividing that chapter into two. It might have made it a bit easier to digest.
Okay, let's get the basics out of the way. This was one of the best resolutions that I've ever seen of the Harry vs. Voldemort arc, easily matching my other favourite in madscientist's "The Lions of Gryffindor". The use of magic and muggle technology was well handled and I am glad that you resisted the error made by some of having Harry just shoot Tom and ending it there. Voldemort's magic would make even the unknown quantity of muggle weapons less effective, so long as his power and magical protections remained intact.
I liked the resolution of the Hr/R issue too. I agree that Ron and Hermione are too much passion and not enough friendship. Without Harry they would probably have never ended up friends at all, so it isn't really believable that they could end up together in the long term. That isn't to say that the relationship seen in HBP was in any way OOC, I just don't expect it to last.
While on the subject of shipping, I notice that you have received quite a bit of negative response to your H/P/G triangle. I do not want to be part of that. While I don't think it will necessarily end up romantic (I think that the three-way bond is just an artefact of their shared dream while destroying Tom's echo), it is obvious that Pansy has finally found the kid sister that she wants and that the three of them are very happy being intimate friends. Harry, in my opinion, seems to have no obvious romantic interest in Ginny at the moment, even if Pansy and Ginny are thinking of developing some kinky Lesbian thing (which I don't think they are). Nonetheless, the settling of the 'issues' should be interesting.
BTW - I strongly suspect Daphne/Hermione on the horizon...
As for your sequel where you deal with said romantic issues, I advise you simply to go with how you personally feel your characters are going. Any resolution (such as old-crow's abortive endings to "The Four Apprentices") that require you to force the characters out of shape, act as if whole parts of the story didn't happen or invoke a deus ex machinia should be resisted. The resolution (such as is possible with 15- and 16-year-old protagonists) should flow and feel true.
Enough of my babble! One with TMW! I enjoyed this story from beginning to end and would not hesitate to recommend it to everyone that I know!
BJH posted a comment on Friday 23rd September 2005 10:50am for 8 - Finishing