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Stories that, for one reason or another, I've decided to abandon.

With Hogwarts' final term over, wealthy gadabout and hero, Harry Potter, gathers his friends for a meeting in the Three Broomsticks. This gathering includes, dragon-running zoologist, Charlie Weasley, curse-breaking adventurist, Bill Weasley, successful entrepreneurs and perennial speakeasy aficionados Fred and George Weasley. Other assorted notables include Elf-Rights campaigner, Hermione Granger, student and captain of Gryffindor Quidditch team, Ginny Weasley, and Chudley Cannons’ new reserve keeper, Ron Weasley. Representing Hogwarts itself, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore and Deputy Head, Minerva McGonagall are also in attendance.

The subject of this meeting, one Draco Malfoy, AKA The Ferret, AKA Juan Sanchez, AKA Samantha Jane Hartley, AKA Toots.

Harry Potter, saviour of the Wizarding World, calls the meeting to attention, and lays out the ground rules to the affectionately attentive audience.

1) Each team is to be comprised of two people.

2) Draco Malfoy must be caught alive.

3) The winning team will be awarded One Thousand Galleons

4) If, after two weeks, Malfoy has not been apprehended, members of the public will be invited to participate.

The rules laid out, Potter's pleasant pals look eager to start, but Potter adds some final advice.

"The Ministry has all international Apparition points under heavy Auror guide," he said, his award winning smile firmly in place. "So he is in the country. Good luck ladies and gentlemen!"

Dismissed, the teams form up, and exit.

First to go. Charlie Weasley, with his partner and infamous Auror, Nymphadora Tonks.

Second. Bill Weasley, and wealthy French plutocrat, Fleur Delacour

Third. Daughter of Newspaper Editor Muchasa Lovegood, Luna, and her main squeeze, Blaise Zabini

Fourth. Partygoers and columnists favourites, The Weasley Twins

Fifth. Octogenarian Wizard and Supreme Mugwump, Albus Dumbledore and Respected Professor Minerva McGonagall

Sixth. Unknown Seamus Finnigan and niece of the Head of Magical Law Enforcement, Susan Bones.

Seventh. Order of the Phoenix Spy, and winner of Grumpiest Wizard award, four years running, Severus Snape, accompanied by long term associate Filius Flitwick

Eighth. Activist Hermione Granger, and her Fiancee Ron Weasley

The final team, golden boy, Harry Potter, and firm love interest, Ginny Weasley

Who knows what is in store for these eighteen people over the next two weeks, as they scour the country for the wanted criminal and sexual deviant, Draco Malfoy.

All we do know, is that we will be here with live coverage of...

The Great Ferret Hunt, 1998