Chris1 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 9:27am
This just keeps getting better and better :D
joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 8:28am
Alright, an update! Thanks for that.
Solid, entertaining reading, as usual.
Teucrian posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 7:23am
This is an awesome story. I think that you might be getting a little off track with the clone thing, though. Its really interesting, but its a very different focus than the prank vs. dangerous/lethal fox dichotomy that you had going earlier.
Also, have you read chunin exam day by perfect lionheart? The author went really overboard with the shadow clone learning thing. Naruto had hundreds of skills/trades completely mastered, and clones for each of a dozen wives or something. It ended up being completely ridiculous. The independent clones shtick is pretty cool though, so I wouldn't cut that part out. The original goal was to have a 1000-strong army of jounin, right? So maybe focus more on that, and have the current personalities end up leaders, throw in some command structure stemming from the clone politics that was introduced earlier and introduce a couple of low ranking grunts for comic relief.
Rather than make Naruto a self-contained village with specialized independent clones for every skill, make him a one-man army like his original intention (maybe start by building squads or regiments with his current level four clones?).
I just thought that these were some interesting points that you might want to consider while moving forward with this story. What I'm thinking basically comes down to shifting the focus from learning life skills or random techniques (randomly assigning a full independent clone to only learn to cook? ninja leg shaving?) back to pranks along with more lethal combat techniques; the added implication is of shifting the allocation of clones from infrastructure type skills to ninja skills.
Orion posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 6:56am
Great! I agree that it's not a realistic story, but that's just fine. It's a fun story to read.
As always, thank you for writing and for sharing what you've written with us.
alec_potter posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 6:48am
Nice the way this story is shaping up. Great stuff. Can't wait for the Chunnin exams.
thehoboking posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 6:18am
good chapter...really like this story...but the only thing i didn't like about this chapter is the part where kurenai talks about how she wants anko more than naruto, since you made it seem like kurenai is barely interested in him at all...beside that sticking point...this was another amazing chapter...
zoroz posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 4:21am
This fic is sooo FUCKING AWESOME!!!, its probably the best Naruto fic I've ever read (I've read thousands) the only thing that would make it better is more frequent updates *wink wink* but other than that thanks for the chapter :)
Robert Peeples posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2011 4:14am
Loving it! Naruto is a functioning crazy :) he has very strong personality traits and then gives them form. I've always loved the stories where the clones can think independently.
Genericrandom posted a comment on Saturday 2nd July 2011 11:35pm
“Arguing with myself is always the best way forward.” ~ This is an awesome line.
I like how you're blurring the line between 'jutsu' and 'whatever the hell Naruto does that isn't magic but probably should be'. Of course the usage of freaking life energy certainly does open up a few new and otherwise impossible avenues.
It's been too long since the scene would have happened, so I don't know that it didn't already, but it would have been nice to see someone make a comment that lead to Naruto wanting the gennin to pass or fail on their own merits. Again, that's assuming I just can't remember a a scene that did basically just that. If it did, then I just forgot, if it didn't it shows a distinct but slightly boring jump in Naurto's wisdom. He at least needed to argue with himself about it a bit more.
I liked the chapter though, and I really liked the continuing inclusion of Hanabi's, Kurenai's and Tsunade's growth and changes. It's important that the writer references back to and continues to show a major character's growth, but it's always awesome when a secondary/minor character's development gets rolled up into the natural flow of a story.
Looking forward to the next installment as always.
loiosh posted a comment on Saturday 2nd July 2011 11:00pm
Awesome new chapter! Been wait for updates from you and I can say it was worth the wait!
Lordamnesia posted a comment on Saturday 2nd July 2011 10:50pm
Fantastic chapter! Character development and explanations abound, which is perfect. Keep up the fantastic work, this is, and has been, one of my favorite Naruto stories just because on how your treating it.
Alrissa posted a comment on Thursday 30th June 2011 1:56pm
3. Plausible. (Mostly :P only 2.6% suspension of disbelief needed.)
Summary: Keep up the good work.
Rayah posted a comment on Thursday 30th June 2011 3:40am
Oh man! I do love this fic ^_^ and I'm really glad that you're still writing it (for a bit there I was afraid it had been abandoned)
wonderful part! and looking forward to more
Genericrandom posted a comment on Tuesday 21st June 2011 2:43am
You know what's totally awesome? Is when a story you've been avidly looking forward to more of updates, and you miss it until like two months later when you finally run across it in the middle of a terrible drought of stories.
Good stuff. Nothing to particularly comment on, because I liked... pretty much all of it. Any scene you can work 'look like you slapped them with a wet fish' into is always a good scene, and Hanabi the devious loli always ends up being pretty entertaining.
I really wish I could find something to criticize so it wasn't all praise here, but between what I was expecting and what I got, things matched up very well. I'm really looking forward to what comes next.
Darkspear posted a comment on Sunday 5th June 2011 8:58pm
Hmmm...Having just sat and read this thing from begining to end I think it has a lot of potential, not that it hasn't already used it. I certinally hope that you will update this again soon.
BaltaineShadow posted a comment on Friday 27th May 2011 6:43pm
Totally cool :)
I hope you'll update soon - I hardly get to read anything as funny as this piece of art!
Hytekrednek posted a comment on Tuesday 24th May 2011 6:28am
Dude you have so got to finish this story.. It is by far one of the best Naruto stories that I have had the pleasure to read in at least a year. Please say that you are going to update soon.
dan26 posted a comment on Monday 16th May 2011 11:05pm
The ninja’s in masks removed them, and smiled at her. “Tenzou,” she nodded to the one that had been wearing the Tiger mask.
“Lady Tsunade,” he said, going down on one knee.
“Rise, I’ve told you before, you’re kinda family.”
“Kinda,” he agreed with a slightly amused look
Tenzo does it out of respect I believe
migele posted a comment on Sunday 15th May 2011 10:38pm
mmh, I have to say as for something you started as a spur of the moment thing the fic is shaping up really nicely and amusing.
remember to introduce Hana sometime, having some girls only talk (I'm including 4 in that) would be fun too.
a few minor word mostakes in this chappy from what I saw but nothing major.
other things ... I see a distinc lack of Shikamaru in this fic. He might have fun fun influences as well, or get a headache due to the total illogical way Naruto acts.
Hanabi is plain fun, pity she has to update her list though.
lydiakate98 posted a comment on Saturday 14th May 2011 4:24pm
Really enjoyed this chapter. I have a feeling that Hanabi's future plans might blow up in her face. I actually like Naruto and Anko as a pairing, with or without Kurenai.