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Renzo7 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 7:31pm for Chapter 13

Hello, Tim. I hope you're well. This was a nice chapter, but that ending was just mean. Quite a cliffhanger, you evil mastermind! I particularly enjoyed the dance scene woth Annie, and the interactions with Aurora. I hope inspiration sticks with you these days, because that cliffhanger was just plain evil and we need to see what's coming next.

gadriam posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 7:26pm for Chapter 13

Thanks.

Absolutely stellar. The exhibition scene was very nice, the restaurant with Aurora was breathtaking in its simple elegance and the show segment with Annie hinted quite clearly that the world is watching him. The involvement of agent Tiemerovna struck it home; If you're larger than life, people might just notice. The closing part was extremely intriguing. It shouldn't be too difficult to clear up. On the other hand, if that is so, what's Chekov's gun doing there? How willl he identify himself with the whole age thing?

I've already told my computer to scream loudly when the next installmment appears. I'll still be checking every day, but you do write after your schedule, not mine so take your time. No point in rushing it.

Also, for the first time, i have some CRITICISM! Lately, you've been confusing "too" and "to". It's a recent development and it makes some sentences difficult to read, as the mind stutters at this kind of typo. The kind that doesn't show up on a spell check are not easy to catch, but please think about it. That's it. The first minor mistake i've ever found and i do believe I've read everything you've written.

Thanks.

g

noylj posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 7:10pm for Chapter 13

I hope Harry has a brain. I HATE Russian spies and hope Harry has already "sensed" her.

TempusLupy posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 7:01pm for Chapter 13

I'm glad you've updated this one, I love it so far.

You did say there would be spies and Mata Hari's at the beginning, but I'm not sure how that would work now with the Harry you've made. His look into their eyes and seems to see their soul thing seems to me like he would be able to see Natalia's false pretenses for being there, no matter how deep it's hidden (you even said the Russian's estimate a 75% chance of success, without knowing of his ability to do that, and 75% isn't that great) and with his dislike of being used or manipulated means I can't see Natalia or any other spy ever getting close enough to actually learn anything secret. I hope Natalia will either be corrupted to Harry's side or flee back to Russia next chapter.

The gang thing at the end of the chapter... It's something I could see happening, but it also seems like another way of putting off the much awaited talk between Dawn and Harry. Also, the ending of the chapter was a bit questionable. The boy was being beat alone, by gang members, and the police somehow arrive right after Harry beats the crap out of the gang and mercy kills the boy. I can't see Harry being in police custody for longer than the questioning of him and that he was trying to save the boy. Anyways, I can't wait for your next update!

Pamela St Vines posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:54pm for Chapter 13

What an evil cliffie... Another great chapter added to a great story. Thanks for sharing.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:52pm for Chapter 13

That interesting how Harry handle being blacked mailed

BJH posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:17pm for Chapter 13

Nice chapter and now we've added some international intrigue Into the story. I like that Russia hasn't (yet) been portrayed as an evil aggressor which is so easy to do but instead merely motivated by self-interest. They aren't trying to kidnap Harry, just make him feel friendly towards mother Russia.

And will this police activity be kept strictly Muggle or does the identity of the poor dead boy's father cross over into the magical?

BJH

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:15pm for Chapter 13

Well, Harry is in trouble now. He will likely have some legal complications and other issues soon that may or may not interfere with the TWC. If Harry is unable to get back for one of the events in time due to being in jail, what would happen? I wonder if Harry's use of the AK registered?

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 3:41pm for Chapter 13

A well written and enjoyable update.

ficbob posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 3:14pm for Chapter 13

Thanks for more of this fic and two things that I want to mention, 'millions of gallons of water' I have no idea how to measure a lake but it just seems millions is a bit low.

and why did Harry not just stun the kid nd let him die peacefully? My first thought to some one dying and I can not help them is heavy medication for the pain.

Thanks for your time and I hope you have a good week and a Happy Thanksgiving from an American

Nosferatum posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 1:36pm for Chapter 13

Good chapter of great story.

I don't know if I should interfere with what is not essentially my business, but you've got some slight inaccuracies in your russian words and names. Tell me, if you are interested, or just ignore me altogether, - it's not like they matter to english-speaking readers :)

TheWickedTruth posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 12:04pm for Chapter 13

Great chapter, can't wait for more.

HP-DG-SB posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 11:04am for Chapter 13

Well, that was a darker end to the chapter than I was expecting to see. I feel horrified on Harry's behalf, that he had to use that damn curse. I understand why he did it, but it's not going to make it any easier on Harry in the long run. It's going to bug him for a while. The thing that pisses me off in this chapter is Russia's interference in Harry's life. I really hope nothing happens to Kate and I hope that Natalia is going to get destroyed as soon as she tries to make a move on Harry. Russia is one of those countries that loves sticking their damn noses where they don't belong and I hate them. No, I'm still cheering for Kate and Harry so I'm really hoping that it isn't prevented for very long. Really, if Natalia manages to sneak into Harry's life now, after everything he's managed to do and is going to be doing in the future; she's going to wreck the story for me. I hope this story doesn't take a turn in the direction I think I'm seeing it go, I really hope so. Beyond that, it was another good chapter as usual. Keep up the great work and I hope that you'll update again soon.

HP-DG-SB

Michael Cornfoot posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 10:21am for Chapter 13

I cant wait for your next chapter. I hope the spies dont last too long!!

M. Scott Eiland posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 10:00am for Chapter 13

Unless he turns himself in, it will be hard to pin anything on him: no forensic evidence connecting him to the crime for the muggle authorities (and the evidence relating to the dead or crippled thugs will support self defense for what he did to them), and he used his necklace (which no one except his intimates know exists or what it can do) to cast the AK, so checking his wand will point to his innocence.

Presumably, Natalia is going to be caught--she seems to be a decent sort looking out for her country, and even Magical Russia's motives don't seem particularly reprehensible. Unfortunately, Harry is primed right now to react *very* badly to betrayal. Hopefully, there will be a result that leaves Harry out of the influence of those who would manipulate him without harming someone who isn't per se evil like an active Death Eater would be.

runnerup437 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 8:04am for Chapter 13

Hey man, I just wanted to thank you for not abandoning this story. It's definitely one of my favorite fanfics (actually I've enjoyed most all of your works - this one and Konaha's Legion being my favorites), and I just wanted to encourage you to keep writing! You are quite talented and your fans appreciate your creativity and hard work.

deltanumber4 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 7:36am for Chapter 13

Amazingly done, I was so worried that Dawn had joined the all too large group of abandoned fanfics. However, you have delivered another wonderful addition to this story. You really do you the cliffhangers though, I hope you don't leave us in suspense for as long as the last time. I'm going to be waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

Zamia posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:55am for Chapter 13

Dirty Dancing on steroids meets From Russia with Love, very interesting yarn. Can't help thinking that Harry will be meeting M soon. Hopefully Kate isn't going to suffer. Good read. Cheers.

Z

musketau posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:49am for Chapter 13

I'd been hoping for the next chapter of Dawn, and wow did you deliver. Thanks.

I'd been worried for a minute you'd brought the Black Widow into the story, but thankfully you didn't. That World would not mesh with what you have created so far, and would almost force you to move away from Hogwarts and England. The idea of several agents trying to 'turn' him is interesting and i'm wondering what will happen with Kate. Are you removing her entirely, will Harry fight it, will she return later? And what happens when Harry does not fall for Natalia (assuming he doesn't). Spy agencies are known to 'remove' powerful things they cannot control or influence. This could make Harry mad, especially if it effects his friends.

Looking forward to what's next, whenever it comes out.

ILikeToRead posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 6:27am for Chapter 13

Again, a very captivating chapter and those 14,000 words just seemed to fly by. I thank you for all the hard work and I really enjoy reading your fiction.