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RubinCompServ posted a comment on Monday 13th August 2018 8:59pm for Enslavement (Original version)

I truly enjoyed this "more tell than show" version. It was short, sweet, to the point, and, IMHO, got the point across without being overly dramatic.

NarutosBrat posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2018 5:10pm for Enslavement (Original version)

A cunning and ambitious escape plan that even Salazar himself would have had to acknowledge.

Salamence989 posted a comment on Saturday 3rd February 2018 3:28am for Enslavement (Original version)

Very well made

Maddie86 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd July 2016 7:25pm for Enslavement (Original version)

You have no idea how long I've been looking for this story! Nearly a week! Finally I put the correct words in " " in Google and there this was! I'm quite certain I'll never forget the name of this it won't matter if all my bookmarks vanish! :) I just love the feel of this's sort of hopeful..that you can change your life even if it feels hopeless and you feel completely alone. Thank you! :)

Himanshu.99 posted a comment on Monday 7th March 2016 2:11pm for Enslavement (Original version)

Wow. This is one of the greatest fanfics I ever read. Thankyou for writing this.

gail19 posted a comment on Monday 15th February 2016 4:41pm for Enslavement (Original version)


star2000shadow posted a comment on Monday 2nd March 2015 12:06pm for Enslavement (Original version)

I loved this this was the best 'remove harry from wizarding world' type story ever. and you even explained HOW he did it you rock.

Kairan1979 posted a comment on Wednesday 17th December 2014 9:19pm for Enslavement (Original version)

I liked both versions of Enslavement, though I liked the extended version more.

kyoshi posted a comment on Wednesday 16th July 2014 7:44am for Enslavement (Original version)

This was one of your more simple stories and it was very unemotional!

Noble Korhedron posted a comment on Wednesday 4th June 2014 12:09am for Enslavement (Original version)

You ended this too soon. I would've loved to see how Magical Britain was forced to deal with Moldishorts without the BWL.

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Tuesday 27th May 2014 6:25pm for Enslavement (Original version)

I like stories that turn things on their head and still come up with a happy ending. Nice work!

slayersfan01 posted a comment on Friday 21st March 2014 8:35pm for Enslavement (Original version)

I mean no offense, but I am glad that you polished up this version. Your second version if undeniablely the better version. It's more fleshed out and just awesome in all areas. I'm glad you are back to writing as well. Looking forward to more of your writing!

hubris posted a comment on Tuesday 4th March 2014 9:27pm for Enslavement (Original version)

Having read both versions and thinking for a bit, I have conflicting reactions to the story. Initially,it was 'Way to go Harry, you showed them.' After a while, though, I became uneasy about this version of Harry. The 'us and them - the humans,' thought process demonstrates a mental illness not necessarily resolved by joining the Veela. It is, to me, an ending that is more disturbing than satisfying....Good job!

ableenglish posted a comment on Tuesday 4th March 2014 1:55am for Enslavement (Original version)

Still awesome. I prefer the previously published version, but this is great too. I've enjoyed all of your stories over these past several years. Thanks for still writing!

Jamey posted a comment on Monday 3rd March 2014 8:07am for Enslavement (Original version)

An interesting insight into the way you develop a story. I fear your first draft is much like my second or third drafts, but your later version really is quite a bit better. Thank you for sharing this with us!

jknezek posted a comment on Monday 3rd March 2014 1:20am for Enslavement (Original version)

I actually prefer this version. The second version, as I put in a review over there, hammered the "not human" point over and over and over again until it got irritating. This version struck a better balance. I do agree it was quite a bit more tell instead of show, and obviously not as polished, but since that flaw was limited I actually enjoyed reading it more. Thanks for posting. A very entertaining exercise and well worth reading, as with your other stories!

Darkwoofe posted a comment on Monday 3rd March 2014 1:09am for Enslavement (Original version)

Not bad, but also not up to the quality of your other stories. The second versions win by a long shot. Thanks for the great stories!

qadoshkyrie posted a comment on Monday 3rd March 2014 1:07am for Enslavement (Original version)

I have to agree that this was a great opportunity to see how things move from early drafts to later ones, even if you have given us glipses in other stories like Princess. Thank you so much for sharing.

More importantly, I think it's admirable that you are pulling back to make this a hobby rather than an obsession. Having gone through about three obsessions before realizing why I was becoming so fixated on what should have been new hobbies in the first place. Now that I have, those things became hobbies that I can now enjoy without having them dominate my life and missing out on the rest of my kids growing up.

The best of luck, and my prayers, are with you as you continue to go on this journey. ^_^

Michael10 posted a comment on Sunday 2nd March 2014 10:46pm for Enslavement (Original version)

thanks for the insights and differences. hope to see the other stories, Perfect Slyterins has my vote for next.

keep up the good work

Alysson posted a comment on Sunday 2nd March 2014 12:46pm for Enslavement (Original version)

I'm not sure that I didn't enjoy this version a tad more than the polished version ... even with the (I agree) imbalance between show and tell.

This (both versions) are certainly a brand-new take on the ill conceived tournament. Now, all we need is the follow-up of the discussions between the dragons on the idiocy of the wizards ;)