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NarutosBrat posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2018 7:01am for Chapter 6

Considering what some of these armors and weapons seem to be based on, I'm not surprised they pissed themselves seeing Harry do that, especially in an aproximation Daedric armor.

RHJunior posted a comment on Friday 27th January 2017 9:10am for Chapter 6

Riffing on Darth Vader there a bit, was he?

seiryu posted a comment on Saturday 10th December 2016 2:07pm for Chapter 6

I thought the image of the Ebony Armor attaching itself to Harry in a small tornado a very nice image. It also brought to mind the transformation sequence from Makai Senki Garo, even though there is no tornado there. Either way, it brought a smile to my face. Thank you.

kstchr posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 6:11am for Chapter 6

Wow, talk about an utterly grisly scene there at the end...but I could totally see Moody keeping a framed picture of Bellatrix's parts on his mantle! lol I really, really liked Harry's line about 'come to the insane side, we have cookies,' as well as Fleur dealing with her bratty little sister like she did.

sanbeegoldiewhitey posted a comment on Tuesday 4th November 2014 12:32am for Chapter 6

You made Daphne as a gay woman. Brilliant because if she was straight, she will be a threat to Astoria and Romilda in winning Harry. I hope Harry never has to choose between Tori and Romi. And please don't make a sad ending where the reason Harry does not have to choose was because one of the girls died.

noylj posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 12:45am for Chapter 6

What the HELL is Amelia's problem? They AKd Harry. It seemed that he killed those who tried to kill him first. The whole wizarding world is full of bleeding heart crazies.

Celebrithil posted a comment on Thursday 30th October 2014 10:23am for Chapter 6

I really like this story, especially the new take on Dumbledore's mistakes and reasoning. Same goes for Fudge and Madam Bones, it changes from the usual "completely corrupt" vs "incredibly perfect" usual tale.

Romi and Tori also are a welcome spin on canon characters, and their relatives are awesome (especially Derek!).

I do have a problem with one big part of your story, though: swords and armours. Because, yes, magic is magic, but suspension of disbelief only gets you so far. Part of it sort-of okay, explainable with the generic "it's magic" excuse, like the first armour design with the claws that his sword would tangle in, and the gauntlets that makes it difficult to grab something, nevermind a sword, nevermind a broadsword with both hands. Or the composition of his armour, which makes him a very skilled craftsman, but not a smith (who works with metal, not bone or ebony, even magical). Or Harry not bothering with tempering the blades after quenching them when he makes the knives in chapter 6. I can even accept Daphne standing on tip toe in the armour if the height difference is really big, though the only thing she might possibly be "intimate" with are the cuisses.

Others, though, are just screaming "I didn't do my research".

- Chapter 4: "It’s a full tang," Harry said, "which means that it’s a single piece of steel worked into shape." ...which extends to the full length of the handle. Harry's said to be a good smith now, he's got to know that it would only be a partial tang otherwise. I almost put this with the sort-of okay things, but then realized that some of your readers were probably just going to take your word for it.

- The broadsword again: the position you describe (his sword in both hands, waist high, the blade pointing past his shoulder) is not a very comfortable position to take with a broadsword (that kind of sword:|1 or, with a smaller hilt (and weight): ). It would be a LOT easier with an arming sword ( ), which also goes better with the knight theme. I understand that a basket-hilted sword shows off his smithing skills more than an arming sword, but it's just not practical in this case.
And now, the part that pushed me to write to you, also known as "are these Aurors invalids or is Harry the worst smith ever", also known as "swords are NOT supposed to be heavy, for God's sake!".

Yes, I mean the sword lifting scene in chapter 6.

"Harry lifted his sword, and held it at eye height. The tip wavered a bit, but he concentrated and made it still. After fifteen seconds, he lowered the sword, and handed it to the first Auror. She was about five and a half foot tall with pink hair in a pixie cut. She had a friendly smile on her face. "Lift," he ordered.

She did, and then struggled to hold it up properly. "Crikey, this weighs a tonne!"

"Pass it on," Harry said.

She did, to a larger Auror. "Give it a shot, Shack," she added.

The Auror’s eyes widened as he lifted it into position, but could only keep it there for a few seconds."

I like swords, and I use them. I'm also a 156cm woman who's not particularly fit. But I know what a sword weighs, and the answer is: not a lot. Unless we're going with a gigantic Zweihänder - which isn't the case here - 2 kg is really pushing the limit already: http:// /articles/2005/jwmaart_dawson_0205.htm . So the idea that a grown (wo)man would actually struggle to hold a sword is position is very, very strange to me. But I got a bit curious at that point, and I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt: maybe you'd tried this at home, and had taken the position into account? After all, holding a sword when you're moving it, like in a spar, is almost ridiculously easy, but holding it in the same position will be more difficult.

So I tried it. I didn't have a broadsword on hand because I'm not very 16th century. I had an arming sword, but some broadswords can be heavier than the one I have. So I picked up my longsword (this one, if you want a look at the length, weight, balance, etc.: ), and extended my arm to hold it at eye level. I lasted 1 minute and 24 seconds. That's from a unathletic, smallish 29 years old woman without any prior experience in doing this, because that's not one usually does with a sword.

So, unless Tonks and Shackebolt are invalids that shouldn't have been allowed out of bed (and one would wonder how they even got to Hogwarts if they're that ill), or Harry is a very strong but awful smith who sharpens railroad bars a bit and calls them swords, this scene just isn't possible. And italso doesn't fit with Romi talking about her knife later: "It’s about fifteen percent lighter," Romilda stated, "but more importantly, the balance is right,", which seems to indicate that Harry does know that weight and balance are important in a blade.

Now, what would be possible would be to drop the "can't even lift it" from the Aurors but emphasize the "perfectly still" part of when Harry's holding the sword. That I didn't manage completely - the tip was indeed moving a bit, and a bit more after the first 30 seconds. Or you could claim that Harry magically increased the weight of the sword to improbable levels before doing this. But please, please don't go around pretending that swords are heavy. They're not. If you can't lift them with your left pinkie, there's a problem.

And armour isn't really that heavy either. I'm not saying it's light, it's just not as heavy as people seem to commonly believe. The load of a modern soldier seems to be heavier, and it's not necessarily well-distributed on the body, like plate. What Shack and Tonks need is endurance training, because that's what suffers when you're wearing armour.

(And it's just "mail" (or "maille"), not "chain mail".)

Sorry for the rant, especially since I am really enjoying this story and haven't reviewed it before. Please don't take this in any other way that you would take a native Bulgarian speaker offering corrections on something if Viktor was speaking in his native language in the story. If you do have a question concerning the topic (or French), don't hesitate to tell me, I'd be glad to help.

Thank you for writing such entertaining stories!

dawnstrider posted a comment on Tuesday 28th October 2014 4:49am for Chapter 6

Fantastic chapter, I look forward to reading this weekly. I'm curious how Voldemort and the other DEs will react to this, given his willingness to abandon and adapt his plans as they go pear-shape. I'd say it's likely that they'll adapt into using blasting/bludgeoning or area damage instead of killing/cutting. I love the way you portray Gabrielle as well, the maturity from Hope was a breath of fresh air and the fresh child-like driven behaviour in HEA. Like in canon, Harry will always be her - in this case, literal - knight. Anticipating Castles in the sky there as well, I haven't seen many stories that tackle the upper echelons of British Muggle Politics and the Royal Family. Thanks for the enjoyable read.

Fozzie Bear posted a comment on Tuesday 28th October 2014 3:21am for Chapter 6

Dang. Just skimmed the chapters again and I realized that yes, I did indeed miss something. This is why I need to re-read chapters when there's a hiatus like this between parts, otherwise I miss stuff and get confused. Sorry for having doubted you. I enjoyed the chapter and am enjoying the story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Fozzie Bear posted a comment on Tuesday 28th October 2014 3:17am for Chapter 6

I don't want to be an ass, so I'll ask not complain--did I miss something or is Sirius still alive somewhere and Moody's actions (hiding Pettigrew) have just meant it will be that much harder to declare his innocence? Last I remember was a conversation where Harry tells Sirius that he's going to stop hiding and while the Triwazarding Tournement is dangerous he could concentrate better if Sirus stayed safe where he is.

So did I miss something?

hpfanscs posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 7:26pm for Chapter 6

Harry with his armor is very, very scary. I'm glad to see it used to such effect.

Stormwatcher posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 6:42pm for Chapter 6

Unbelievable. Death Eaters pissing themselves. New magic. Fantastic. Great work. Looking forward to the next chapter.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 6:01pm for Chapter 6

Harry is going to be torn up over the killing of the DEs, but he will get through it and be even stronger...much like the weapons and armor he tempers. I don't think Harry will ever really be lonely with the elves that he has befriended being around.

jchangpa posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 4:18pm for Chapter 6

I have to thanks you. Story is getting better as every new chapter pop up. thanks.

rgshea96789 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 3:32pm for Chapter 6

Awesome! From the take off, it seems that Harry will fly without a broom.

tcl7189 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 8:21am for Chapter 6

Another great chapter...poor Harry is going to need a few hugs!!

TheWickedTruth posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 7:31am for Chapter 6

Great chapter, can't wait for more.

Shadewing posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 4:08am for Chapter 6


I've been really enjoying your writing, you have a great way of conveying a lot of descriptive information without large paragraphs of exposition, alowing more dialoge and plot through.

During the broom flight you said Harry "did an aileron roll around" Cedric, aileron rolls don't go arround anything as they are just the rotaion of the aircraft around an axis with no vertical of horisontal movement; barrel rolls are a spiral arround an area of space.

Here is an image about the rolls,

For myself, probably because I am a pilot, this jarred me out of the flow the story had. It wasn't much but I thought I should let you know you might want to check that.

I will close with saying the rest of the chapter was great!

tim944 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 4:02am for Chapter 6

from what you have written here, I suspect you have spent some time in a forge , working or at least closely observing a smith. Very nicely done, I can feel the heat and the impact of hammer on metal. Inspires me to go brush off my anvil and get to work.

As alweays, I enjoy your writing and look forward to whenever something inspires you to write. Thanks you for years of enjoyable reading.

kb0 posted a comment on Monday 27th October 2014 3:50am for Chapter 6

I really enjoyed this chapter. I can see you setting things up for the end and I think it's coming together well.

Thanks for sharing!