Matryoshka Vignettes
Gang aft a-gley
By Jeconais
Author Notes:
Albus Dumbledore - Sat, 15th August, 1998, 1:01pm
Albus placed down the paper on his desk and glanced once more at the empty perch that had been the resting place for his pet Phoenix.
A Phoenix he had not seen for several months.
He was slightly worried, as Fawkes had never vanished like this before.
There was a noise as his Floo activated, and he turned. "Minister?" he asked politely. This really was the last thing he needed today.
He reached out absently and grabbed a lemon drop.
The Minister glared at him with a passion he had rarely seen. "Is something wrong?"
"Is something wrong?" Rufus spluttered. "Is something wrong? Why no. Not at all. I just thought I’d share with you some interesting correspondence I received this morning. Would you care to hear it?"
The sarcasm evident in the Minister’s voice was almost physical in its intensity.
"Please," Albus said politely.
The Minister held up a piece of paper. "From the Americans," he confided.
Minister,
We have noted with interest your request for assistance in the apprehension and extradition of one Daphne Greengrass on charges of Murder.
Now, you will forgive us if we are missing the point a little here, but you do know how we poor backward Americans are, with our strange beliefs in liberty and justice for all.
But we have consulted with our lawyers — You have heard of them, right? They are the people whose job it is to interpret the law — and, well, they laughed.
You see, in America, we have this strange concept of self-defense. Now, allow me to explain this obviously foreign concept to you. If, for example, a group of terrorists are approaching you, all armed and intending to kill you, and in the past this group has been responsible for atrocities of the like not seen since the fall of Troy, and you were to fight them and win, that would be classified as self-defense. And as such, at least in our country, this is perfectly legal.
So it is with regret that we turn down your request for assistance, and hereby inform you that, if Miss Greengrass is on American soil — and we believe that she desires privacy, so we will not tell you if she is or is not — then any attempts to remove her would be treated as an act of war.
As a side note, we find it most disturbing that the British Ministry did not inform us of the severity of the late Lord Voldemort’s attempts at taking over the country, and call into question a Ministry that allows a seventeen-year-old to fight its battles.
But we shall save that discussion for the next Summit Meeting.
Regards,
John Pelli, Secretary of State (Magical).
"And there’s more," Rufus continued. "From the French. And I had to have this translated, as they replied in bloody French."
Minister,
I regret to inform you that, for services rendered to France, Daphne Greengrass has been granted French Citizenship.
As such, we will not allow a French Citizen, if she be on French Sovereign soil, to be extradited.
Michelle Lamport
"Or," Rufus continued. "How about the Germans, and I didn’t bother to get this one translated."
Nein
Rufus placed down the papers. "So far, Greengrass apparently holds citizenship in thirty-two countries, and a further forty turned down our request flat. Only our very close allies said yes, and I suspect that the ’yes’ was more for form than from any firm commitment to help us.
"But all of this is irrelevant anyway, as we now know where Miss Greengrass is. She has purchased an island near Bora Bora, which, I no doubt need to remind you, is French territory.
"The island, however, is its own sovereign nation, and has complete jurisdiction over itself. So," and he finished with almost a shout, "any attempt to extradite her will be summarily refused, by the ruler. Daphne bloody Greengrass."
"Can’t we send out some Aurors to bring her back?" Albus asked.
"Are you going senile?" Rufus roared. "You want me to invade another sovereign nation? A nation that most of the other Ministries in the world would happily help defend? Do you have any idea how many islands are privately owned like this?"
"No," Albus replied. He’d never needed to know.
"Globally, and this is according to the research we did this morning, nearly two thousand. Do you know what they all have in common? The money to own a private island. Do you have any idea just how much damage could be caused to our economy if several thousand of the richest people in the world decided that they didn’t like the idea of Britain invading one of their own? The repercussions would last for decades and be felt in the Muggle world as well as the Magical one.
"And if that is not enough, as if I am not already a laughing-stock, I now have to face the Wizengamot this evening and explain exactly why I have placed this new law before them.
"And to finish everything off, I have the Quibbler — the Quibbler! — launching a campaign to overthrow the Ministry, led by one Luna Lovegood, who I find out, was a close friend of Harry Potter!"
Rufus took a deep breath. "I believe, Albus that now is the time for you to hand over your evidence that Miss Greengrass was involved in the abduction of Severus Snape."
Albus sighed softly. "Of course, Minister," he agreed. "I will send it over to your office this afternoon. I must say that I did not expect you to act with such a lack of decorum when pushing this forward."
Rufus froze and shook his head slowly. "I see," he said icily. "I might be going down over this, Albus, but believe me that I am not going down alone."
Albus raised his eyebrows. "I fail to see the relevance of your threat."
"You wouldn’t, would you," Rufus said disgustedly and closed the Floo.
Albus turned back to his desk and helped himself to another lemon drop. So, it was now official that Potter had his own island in Bora Bora. Perhaps it was time for another visit.
He picked up the Quibbler again, and turned to the crossword puzzle on the back.
"Silver coloured Indian fish (6)"
Halfway through writing ’Ramora’ his Floo activated again. He sighed; he so rarely got to complete the crossword.
"Alastor?"
"Have you seen the latest ridiculousness from the Ministry?" he demanded. "Putting Greengrass on trial for murder," he snorted disgustedly. "Should I wait to be arrested next?"
"There is no need to worry; I have the situation under control. The charges will be dropped by the Wizengamot tonight, and I shall inform Miss Greengrass personally."
"You know where she is, then?"
"Of course," Albus said with a smile, allowing his eyes to twinkle. It wasn’t as if he was lying to his old friend, merely allowing him to keep the illusion of infallibility.
"Good," Alastor grunted. "Lass is probably in need of a friend or two right now."
"Quite."
"Well, I won’t keep you," Mad-Eye said, and signed off.
Albus smiled softly. Yes, perhaps things had worked out for the best after all. It was true, he hadn’t expected Rufus to act with such clumsiness, but having him replaced with someone a bit more malleable would be no bad thing.
He pulled a piece of parchment from a table, and scribbled onto it.
Gringotts Account: 234205. Ministry Project: Runespoor Protection. It might be the clue you are after.
With a wave of his hand, the letters separated into dots of ink, before joining back up again in completely different handwriting.
He walked up to the school Owlery and picked one at random. "Take this to Luna Lovegood," he said.
The owl hooted and took off, flapping its wings hard.
He smiled cheerfully. That should help things along a bit. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad day after all.
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft a-gley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain
For promis’d joy. — Robert Burns
A/N: I am well aware of the laws regarding owning an island inside French territory.