Konoha's Legion
Chapter 3
By Jeconais
More of the same. More unrealistic pace, more unrealistic characters etc etc.
Naruto forced the pace on the way home, not wanting to answer any questions several times. So it was a tired group that finally arrived at the gates, and headed for the Hokage tower.
The fact that they had a fourth member attracted some attention, and Anko, Kurenai, Hayate, Yugao and Iruka joined them in the Third’s office.
The Sandaime sighed and poured out some sake. Kakashi was the first to move, draining his and asking for another.
Anko smirked. “Come on, brat, tell the story.”
“Do you like my hat?”
“It suits you pretty well, but I think there’s a better one out there for you,” Kurenai replied.
Naruto sighed and took it off. He sealed it for future use. “It’s a sweet hat, so I’ll save it for when I’m at sea.” He took a deep breath. “Well, it started nice and simple. Tazuna-san and I had a nice chat, before the demon brothers hid in the stupidest place imaginable – a puddle on a dry day. They pounced out, and Kakashi pretended to be dead. They incapacitated Sakura and Sasuke, so I tricked them and killed the first, before using my torture Jutsu on the second, then killed him as well.”
Naruto pulled out a scroll, and dropped two heads on the table.
“Why is no one surprised that he has a torture Jutsu?” Kakashi demanded.
“You didn’t know?” Kurenai asked. “Don’t you pay attention to your students?”
Kakashi glared at her.
“Get on with the story,” Anko encouraged.
“As we were forewarned we continued.”
“Wait,” Iruka interrupted. “There was nothing in the mission specs about ninjas.”
Naruto shrugged. “We couldn’t turn back, Wave needed us, and besides, if the fit had hit the shan, I’ve got the ultimate back up purring in my stomach. So, we continued. A few days later, Kakashi spotted Momochi Zabuza’s sword flying toward us. We all hit the deck, while Kakashi fought him.”
Iruka groaned under his breath. “The procedure when an A-class missing ninja is on the case is to call for back-up, not engage.”
Naruto shot him a foxy grin. “Anyway, as they were fighting, I distracted them, and Foxy-chan took care of my transportation, while I stabbed him with my sword. Haku tried to save him, but I wasn’t letting my lunch money get away, so I cut his head off.” He placed a scroll down on the Hokage’s desk.
The Hokage sighed deeply. “Do I want to know?”
“Actually,” Naruto said. “It did feel weird. Anko-chan, do you mind if I kiss you?”
Anko shrugged. “Go ahead.”
“Sexy No Jutsu,” Naruto muttered, changing into his female form – careful to keep his clothes on this time. He didn’t want to be hit. He walked over to Anko and kissed her slowly.
Kissing as a girl was very different. It was softer, gentler, but carried the same passion. The way his chest pushed against Anko’s was exciting, as was the way he could feel her heart beat faster.
He slowly broke the kiss.
Anko slowly stroked his cheek. “This isn’t a henge,” she muttered, as her hand slipped down and groped his bum. “You are really female.”
He nodded, “Of course, what good would it be otherwise?” He turned around, to see all the men, with the exception of Haku and Sasuke unconscious.
“Perverts,” he muttered with a roll of his eyes. He cancelled his Jutsu and sat back down. “Kissing as a girl is different to kissing as a boy,” he explained to those who were conscious. “It felt weird when the clones I used to distract Zabuza dispersed, and I felt like I’d been kissing myself.”
Kurenai pulled out a jug of water and unceremoniously woke the men.
“That’s an S-class forbidden Jutsu, Naruto,” the Sandaime pointed out.
Naruto shrugged. “I refuse to stop using a valuable tool just because you’re a pervert.”
“And,” Yugao added, “if Naruto is willing to let us study him, it has many advantages, it’s not actually a henge!”
“And she’s a great kisser,” Anko added cheerfully. “Almost as good as Kurenai!”
It was only by begging foxy-chan for help, that Naruto was able to avoid passing out due to blood loss.
“Still got it,” Anko said happily.
Kurenai sighed, looking amused. “And how would you know that, Anko-chan? You can wake them up this time.”
Anko smirked and sent some snakes to get the boys’ attention.
Order was restored shortly afterward.
“Anyway, we picked up Haku then, she was in a tight spot, basically, Zabuza had saved her, and she was dedicated to him. We had a talk, and I hired her as a body guard for Sakura and Sasuke, and we arrived at Wave.
“The place was a dump, no child should ever have to live like I did, as we knew that Gatō was behind all of this, I had a chat with Tazuna, who agreed that I could take my fee for dealing with the problem out of the money I could get from Gatō.
“That night, I jogged out to Gatō’s ship, climbed on board, killed the guards, sent some clones to kill the crew, killed some guy named Fuja.” Naruto paused, and moved to one side, releasing the seal that held the body. “I kinda used a new Jutsu on him, and it fried his head, so I wasn’t sure what to do?”
More sake was taken by the Hokage. “Just finish the story,” he said.
“Okay. When I’d finished with Fuja, my clones had persuaded Gatō to make up for his actions, and Gatō signed everything over to me, before I let him go. One of my clones then killed him. I took his ship, sailed it to the port, allowed my clones to wipe out the bandits waiting for him, before we sailed it back to the bridge and I gave five sixths of the money to Tazuna to make Wave as good as it should be, so that the kids will have a great future.”
He pulled out another scroll. “That’s the Village’s cut,” he said. “Ten percent.”
The Hokage moved it to one side.
“Then we left and came back here. Haku’s going to stay with Sasuke for a while, you should see about hiring her as a Leaf ninja, she’s got a cool bloodline.”
“Thank you, Naruto, your money for the nins will be available in a week, after the villages offering the bounties pay us.”
“Yeah, about that,” Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. “Can you give Zabuza’s bounty to Haku? I only killed him because I needed to get a better flat and eat better, but with Gatō’s death, that’s not really needed, and she deserves it more.”
“I will,” The Hokage said. “Kakashi, please stay behind. Good work, team seven. Dismissed.”
“Sakura, we’ll see you later,” Naruto said, as she grabbed Haku and Sasuke’s shoulders, teleporting them to the Uchiha clan estate.
“Okay,” Naruto said, before they could say anything. “Sasuke, Haku’s a guy. Haku, Sasuke’s gay. That’s all the secrets out the way. Catch you guy later.”
“It’s all so easy for you, isn’t it?” Sasuke sneered.
“What?” Naruto asked in bewilderment.
“Did you ever think about what it’s like to be me?”
Naruto nodded. “Yes, I thought your lubrication bill must be horrendous to get that stick up your arse every morning.”
Sasuke glared at him again.
“You are nowhere near as cute as Hanabi-chan.”
“Look,” Sasuke said, “ever since my family died, all I’ve had is people tell me how heroic I am, and that I am the greatest.”
“Which you suck up with a straw…”
“Naruto! Look, it’s not been easy for me either, right? I’ve had two goals, killing that man, and restarting my Clan, only girls don’t do it for me. They scare me shitless, especially Sakura and Ino, and so I’ve had to concentrate on getting better to kill my brother – that’s been my only dream.”
“And it was going okay. Danzo was on my side, as were the two advisers to the Hokage. It was them that told me to ask for your demon, and they’re the most powerful people in the village.”
Sasuke glared at him harder, “and then you fucking ruin it, showing everyone I’m gay! You’re a bastard, Naruto.”
“Kyūbi,” Naruto said slowly, “Did I remember my angst proof underwear today?”
“Yes.”
“Excellent.”
Sasuke suddenly sighed before he collapsed down. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “The council won’t let me have a relationship with a guy! They want children!”
“Do I have to think of everything?” Naruto asked the ceiling. “You can adopt a baby, and when we kill Itachi, we’ll take his eyes, and implant them in the baby – problem solved.”
“You’re going to help me kill him?” Sasuke asked in shock.
“As long as you stop being a dick,” Naruto said.
For the first time in more years than Naruto could remember, Sasuke smiled. A tiny genuine smile. “Dead-last,” he muttered.
“Bastard,” Naruto replied traditionally. “Hey, Haku, I said you were female back there, because your clothing is fruitier than Gai’s eyebrows. You want to be known as male or female?”
“Female,” Haku said, a faint blush on his face. “I prefer kimono’s anyway.”
“I’ll teach you my Sexy No Jutsu, in case you ever need to prove it.”
“Thank you.”
Naruto yawned. “Right, I need sleep. I’ll spread the word that you swing both ways, Sasuke, and that you’re staying with Haku – the idiots on the council will come to the wrong conclusion, and everyone can be happy. See you tomorrow.”
Anko sniggered as the pink haired girl sighed and walked out of the Hokage’s office. “A Genin takes out Zabuza, Gatō, Fuja, the Demon Brothers, saves a nation, and recruits a new ninja. We’ve taught him well.”
“That we have,” Hayate agreed proudly.
“He’s my student,” Kakashi pointed out.
“Bollocks,” Anko replied. “We’ve taught him far more than you. I can’t wait to tell Hiashi all this.”
“I’ve taught him,” Kakashi protested.
“Taught him what?” Kurenai demanded. “Over the past few months, I’ve spent all my spare time teaching the poor guy how to read properly. Anko’s been teaching him history, and explaining why it’s important. Iruka’s been working on the basics of Chakra control, Hayate and Yugao have been fixing his basic weapon skills, while Hiashi has been fixing his basic fighting skills.
“He left school with nothing, and he’s repaid us by working his arse off every free moment he has, and he’s been so grateful for everything. In return, he’s shared everything he’s come up, and a lot that the Kyūbi has, it’s a huge resource having an ancient demon willing to help Naruto-kun out.
“So what did you teach him?”
“Erm, tree climbing and water walking,” Kakashi replied.
“And for the other four days? He would have mastered that in a day! Now that Iruka taught him how to actually feel Chakra – before he was just throwing a huge amount at any problem and blasting through it.”
“Well… The bridge needed building, and he was helping with that, well, his army of clones were.”
“So you allowed him to do non-ninja things rather than teach him. What did you teach the Uchiha?”
Kakashi looked down.
The Hokage sighed. “Kakashi, I can’t allow you to jeopardise Naruto’s future. I’m placing Haku on your team, as Naruto’s replacement. Naruto is going to continue to train with all the teams, so that we have a big hitter who can work with all our teams.”
“Naruto’s going to be a legend,” Kurenai said happily.
“Iruka,” the Hokage said, “will you please attempt to re-teach Naruto some of the rules we follow, including the ones on freelance work, and why we don’t do it!”
“I’ll try, but Naruto will follow them right until they get in the way of something he considers more important, they they’ll fly out the window.”
“Thank you,” The Hokage agreed. “Now, Kakashi, I think we’ll need a full report, not the extended highlights that Naruto gave us. And then we’ll have a very nice chat about procedure, and why we aren’t too proud to ask for backup.”
“Yes,” Kakashi agreed softly.
Naruto arrived back in the Hyūga compound, to find that Hiashi, Neji, Hinata and Hanabi had just finished dinner.
“Kawaii,” Naruto announced his return by pouncing on Hanabi. For the first time, Hanabi gave him a brief hug back.
“Hiashi-sama,” Naruto said, as he sat down. “Do you know anyone who can help me with money?”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, Tazuna – the bridge builder who hired us for escort journey – asked me to kill Gatō – the infamous merchant, and I took a commission from some of the cash he had on his boat. I’ve given the Hokage the normal share, but I don’t know what to do with the rest.”
“How much is it?” Neji asked.
Naruto shrugged. “No idea, I just separated it and bunged it in a storage seal.”
“Naruto-kun,” Hinata said softly, “you need to know how much you have before you can make any decisions.”
“Agreed,” Hiashi said. “Get it out, and we’ll see.”
“Here?” Naruto asked in surprise.
“Yes.”
Naruto shrugged and pulled out the seal. He cut his thumb on his teeth, and used the blood to unseal it. The money started to pour in a great rush, diamonds, emeralds and sapphires sparkled in the golden shower.
Naruto moved on to the table to avoid being buried. With a shake, he closed the seal. “There,” he said.
Hiashi, Hinata, Neji and Hanabi all looked stunned. “Is that a lot?” he asked innocently.
The Hyūga’s nodded in unison, before their eyes lit up.
“Hanabi, the jewels, Hinata, Neji, the gold, I’ll take the paper.” Without protest, the four of them started to work, happy smiles on their faces.
Naruto had never seen them so happy. He figured it was to do with the money, so he jumped on to the ceiling, and took a nap.
“Naruto?”
Naruto opened his eyes and stretched. The floor below was clear, with all the money in neat chakra-reinforced piles.
He released his Chakra and fell to the floor, somersaulting on the way so that he could sit on the table. All the Hyūgas looked happy.
“Have a good time?”
They all nodded in a display of family unity.
“Well, Naruto-kun,” Hiashi said with an amused look. “You could retire today, buy a large mansion, hire the best ramen chef in the world, and eat ramen for every meal for every day for the rest of your life, and hardly make a dent in this.”
“Tempting,” Naruto said thoughtfully, “but foxy-chan would kick my arse for being lazy, and I’d never be able to protect you guys, so no. Hey, I have some land, so I can afford to build my own place?”
“Easily.”
“Cool,” Naruto breathed slowly. He created two clones. “Go and have a look at our land, and make some plans for what we want to build. Come up with some rough sketches we can give an architect,” he told the first. “You, go and send a message to Tazuna, offer Wave the contract, tell them I’ll help with the work.”
“Aye aye, captain,” they saluted, before running out the door.
“Now that’s sorted,” Naruto said cheerfully. “Neji, you have ten Ryō on you?”
Neji nodded.
“Swop,” he said, offering him a scroll.
“What is it?”
“Give it to Tenten-chan, say you bought it for her.”
Neji smirked and shook his head. “I’ll be back later,” he said as he walked out as well.
Naruto turned to Hinata, and walked up to her. The girl turned bright red, as Naruto took her hand and quickly attached a gold bracelet. He took a second to admire it, before grinning. Hinata passed out gracefully.
He somersaulted backwards, pouncing on Hanabi, knocking her to the floor, where he attached a gold locket around her neck.
Hanabi looked at it, and flushed slightly. “Thank you, Naruto-kun,” she whispered.
Naruto threw a box to Hiashi, “you don’t get the personal touch.”
“This is not necessary, Naruto,” Hiashi pointed out.
“I picked out gifts for all my favourite people,” Naruto said firmly. “Refusing would be an insult.”
Hiashi sighed and opened the box, before putting the signet ring on his left hand. “Thank you.
“Anyway, as for the businesses that you now own…”
Neji sprinted over the roof tops, aiming for his girlfriend’s bedroom. Being a ninja really helped in these situations.
He knocked on the window, which was quickly opened. “Hi,” he said.
“Hey,” she greeted him. “Wanna come in?”
He nodded, and swept through.
Tenten relaxed back on her bed. “What brings you here?” she asked curiously.
“You know how I promised to never lie to you?”
She nodded.
“Well, Naruto got this for you, and sold it to me for ten Ryō so that I could say I got it for you.” He held the scroll out.
Tenten bounced to her feet and opened it. “It’s a sealing scroll.” She released it, and jumped back in shock. “On my stars,” she squealed. “That’s Kubikiri Houcho! One of the swords of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. How did Naruto-kun get it?”
“I think he killed the owner.”
Tenten was admiring the giant carving knife reverently, before she carefully placed it on the floor. “I am going to have to kiss him for this.”
Neji rolled his eyes and sighed.
“However,” Tenten continued, her voice gaining a purring sound, “you get the main reward as that’s what Naruto wanted.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back on to her bed.
Before he lost his mind to his girlfriend’s demanding kiss and aggressively wandering hands, he swore that he would follow the path of chaos for the rest of his life.
Naruto was up and about bright and early. He hadn’t agreed a schedule with his teachers yet, so took the first few hours of the day to get a few things done. His first stop was the Uchiha compound, where he slipped in easily. Sasuke and Haku were sat at a table in silence, eating some breakfast.
“Morning,” Naruto said cheerfully. “I’m here to change Haku’s mission.”
“Git,” Sasuke mumbled.
“Naruto-kun?” Haku asked softly.
“Right, your job is twofold. The first part is to pose as Sasuke’s girlfriend, and protect him from the fan girls that will come back when I announce the updated sexuality – and that includes Sakura. You’re possessive, okay?”
Haku nodded firmly.
“The second is the same as before, bodyguard to Sasuke and Sakura. That may change in the future, as I have many people who will need protecting at the same time. In return, I have a Jutsu for you.”
“Oh?” Haku asked, looking up curiously.
“You got a training ground, bastard?”
Sasuke nodded, and stood, preceding them through the house and into a courtyard.
Naruto walked up to a training dummy. “Right, channel your ice into your hand, then make these seals – dragon, boar, dragon, dragon, then punch forward, and at the same time…”
It took Naruto another few minutes to explain the rest of the procedure, but it was soon time for Haku to try it out.
The androgynous boy’s hands flashed in a silver glow, before he punched forward. The dummy froze completely. Naruto jumped forward, throwing a kick into it. The dummy shattered into a million parts that tinkled on the ground.
“Wow,” Haku whispered. “I mean, just wow!”
Even Sasuke looked impressed.
“Naruto,” Sasuke started, before he stopped and took a deep breath. In a thin voice, he said, “I’d appreciate it if you ever come across a Jutsu I can do, if you could teach it to me.”
Naruto looked at him for a long moment, before he nodded. “I’ve got more things to do this morning, so I’ll catch you at the bridge at ten, when Kakashi shows up.”
Both boys nodded, and Naruto made the hand signals, so that he could teleport away.
His next stop was his favourite Ramen stand in the world. The old man and Ayame were still opening up.
“Ayame-chan, how about a kiss?” he asked with a foxy grin.
She looked at him, up and down slowly, “excuse me?”
Naruto waved a folded piece of paper. “I have something for you, but I want a kiss before you get it.”
Teuchi was looking on in amusement.
“It might not be worth a kiss,” Ayame said. “I don’t want to be tricked.”
“Ahh, but I don’t lie,” Naruto said. “And I think you’ll agree that this is worth a simple kiss.”
“Fine,” Ayame sighed, amusement dancing in her eyes. She leaned over and pecked him on the lips.
Naruto sighed happily, and gave her the scroll.
She grinned and unrolled it, before going white as she read it.
“Ayame?” the old man asked.
“N-N-N-N,” she stuttered.
Teuchi yanked the paper out of her hands and stared at it. He reached out and smacked himself on the back of the head, and then read the paper again.
“You can’t do this,” Teuchi said forcefully.
“Yes I can,” Naruto contradicted him cheerfully. “You heard the deal, I get a kiss from Ayame-chan, she gets the paper. You now have the paper, so there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“I love my daughter, but one of her kisses is not worth a stand in the middle of the market place! This is the best spot in Konoha!”
“I think you’re very wrong,” Naruto said. “Look, I came in to some money recently, and along with that, I got a few businesses, including that spot. As I’m not going to have money problems, I need to share the wealth with my friends. You two kept me alive at times, and I certainly value my life higher than anything I could give you, so you will smile at me, say thank you very much, and prepare to move, okay?”
The two looked at him in shock, before Teuchi slowly smiled. He bowed his head in a gesture of deep respect, and said thank you.
“I’ll be here at lunch for some ramen,” he promised, as he turned.
“Naruto-kun, wait,” Ayame yelled, as she jumped over the counter. He turned to face her, as she grabbed him, wrapped her arms around him, and pulled him in for a kiss, her tongue pushing straight in to his mouth.
He kissed her back eagerly, his hands roaming her back, although keeping to the safe spots.
Ayame broke the kiss. “Thank you, Naruto-kun.”
He smiled at her. “It’s nothing, I promise.”
“No, it’s not, and you know it.” She grinned. “My first kiss might not have been worth the spot, but when I tell my friends later, I’ll talk about my second one.”
He laughed and pecked her on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, Ayame-chan.” He made the familiar hand-seals and teleported away, heading for his next destination.
He arrived outside Ino’s parents’ flower shop, and entered quickly. To his good fortune, Sakura was already there, talking with Ino. “Hey,” he said cheerfully. “You heard the latest gossip about Sasuke?”
The two girls turned to look at him, their eyes wide. “What’s that, Naruto-kun?”
“Turns out he’s actually bisexual, as he does like girls as well. He asked Haku out last night.”
“That bitch!” Sakura yelled after a second, where the light in her eyes changed, and the fan-girlitus faded from her view of him. “Sasuke-kun should be mine. Out of the way, Naruto!”
“Me first,” Ino said as they barged past him.
Naruto shook his head and smirked as the two girls disappeared into the distance.
“Sometimes, having a daughter isn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” Yamanaka Inoichi, Ino’s dad, sighed.
“Don’t worry about it,” Naruto said as he leaned against the counter. “Far better they chase after Sasuke than me.”
“Indeed, I’ve heard that your tastes are a little more refined.”
“I like women who don’t play stupid games, who demand that I act like an adult, and are sure in themselves. I find it as sexy as hell.”
Inoichi laughed softly. “That it is, Naruto. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Naruto shook his head. “I just dropped by to distract those two. Let them have a few more weeks of being kids, before they find out what real life is like.”
Inoichi nodded. “I heard about your mission. Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” Naruto said brightly. “It was fun, but now I have to train twice as hard. I couldn’t really fight anyone in a straight fight, I beat one guy because he was on a ship and he was an earth user, the others I just overpowered with numbers. While I have no wish to fight fair, those tactics wouldn’t work against a better class of enemy.”
Inoichi smiled. “Wise words.”
“Anyway, I’ve still got some errands to run this morning. Bye.” He made the hand signs again and vanished with his lightning. He appeared in a living room. With a grin, he cast his latest Jutsu on himself. “Chibi No Jutsu,” he whispered, and the whole room seem to grow, as he shrunk to his six year old size – complete with one missing front tooth.
He ran through the half-open door, and pounced on the two sleeping Ninjas.
Hayate almost leapt out of bed, as Yugao sat up, holding the covers to her chest. Naruto grinned and snuggled into her, giving her a large hug. “Hiya Unky Haya,” he lisped cutely.
Yugao squealed and her hug tightened.
“Naruto,” Hayate sighed, as he got back under the covers.
“He’s a gwumpy gus in the morning,” Naruto whispered conspiratorially to the woman holding him.
“He gets better when he’s not surprised,” Yugao replied dryly.
“Oh, I gots you both a pwesent,” he said, continuing his lisp. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two boxes. He chucked one to the playfully scowling Hayate, and offered the other one to Yugao. She opened it and gasped.
“I can’t accept this.”
Naruto looked at her, his eyes wide, as he made his bottom lip quiver. He looked up at her, his eyes bright. “But,” he whimpered.
Yugao managed to hold out for two and a half seconds, before she was defeated by the look. She took out a slim gold watch, and put it on her wrist. Hayate was putting on a thicker matching watch.
“Thank you,” he said.
Naruto grinned at him and stood, before bouncing off the bed.
“Naruto,” Hayate called. “Why the small version?”
Naruto smiled innocently at him. “Because I’m too old to be jumping into bed with adults and it be innocent.” He paused. “I might flirt a lot, but I would never get in the way of a relationship.”
“We know,” Yugao said gently.
“I’ll see you later,” Naruto said cheerfully. “I’ve got more pwesents to give out.” He made the hand signs and vanished, cancelling his Jutsu at the same time.
Kurenai was in the shower, so he left her present on the corner of a table, with a simple card on the side. The card just had a small grinning fox printed in one corner. He knew Kurenai would appreciate the gesture.
The Sandaime Hokage sighed in pleasure and leaned back in his chair, blowing smoke at the ceiling.
Today was starting out to be a fine day.
The door opened, and his son entered, dropping down in the chair in front of him. “What have you found, Asuma?” he asked, after a suitably long pause.
“Okay, Kawaii No Jutsu,” Asuma said, before he paused. “Wait a second, are you smoking Kika Island tobacco!?”
The Hokage smirked. “I am.”
“But that stuff is impossible to get hold off. They don’t sell it to anyone! Not ever the Fire Lord could get some!”
“The Fire Lord hasn’t got the friends I have,” he smirked. “It was a bribe from Naruto this morning.”
“A bribe?”
“Yes. He wanted me to put Haku on Team 7.”
“Didn’t you say that you were going to do that last night?”
“I did,” he said smugly. “So I was willing to be bribed. And this is the result. A priceless bribe for no gain.”
“Can I try some?” Asuma begged. “Please, dad?”
If there was one thing that was going to help their relationship, this was it. He handed another pipe over.
Asuma lit it expertly, and sighed deeply in pleasure. “Thanks.”
The Hokage smiled lightly. It was worth it. Just.
“Anyway,” Asuma said as he relaxed back. “Kawaii No Jutsu. At first I couldn’t understand it, it didn’t make sense, but then I remembered who his dad is. The Jutsu is a slimmed down, childish version of the Hiraishin. That’s why it works with so little Chakra. It uses some to lighten the body, but that is automatic, and the rest is used for direction and jumping.
“It’s bloody clever, but we’re not got a clue how to make it into a full Hiraishin. Which is probably a good thing. I think that the reason that the Fourth used special weapons was to stop others from working out how it went. It was a good distraction.
“Interestingly, the amount of chakra used has a base point for up to a five mile radius, from there, the amount needed is exponential. Jounin should be able to manage forty miles, Chunin ten miles, and everyone else five miles.”
Sarutobi raised his eyebrows and took another puff of the fine tobacco.
“So, next I got a few friends, and we looked at that body he bought back from Wave. Every single organ in the body showed the results of large electrocution. It was like he was hit with controlled lightning. I suspect that only someone with a lightning element affinity could even attempt it. Same with his lightning teleportation I’ve not got a clue how it works, or what the limit is.
“Sexy No Jutsu is interesting, and from what I can tell, Naruto didn’t realise he was supposed to make a henge, so he just turned himself completely. Insanely logical, really.
“Sunlight No Jutsu is just embarrassing. Every single Jounin should have seen the possibilities of Gai’s stupid Jutsu years ago. Gai himself needs a chat with Naruto, as Gai is wondering if his flames of youth are diminishing. He’s proud of Naruto, but is experiencing some self doubt.”
“Thank you, Asuma,” the Hokage said thoughtfully. “That was a worthwhile use of your time.”
“Interesting, too. You know that he is more at home with the Jounins than with the other Genins? We all like teaching, and having a sponge like him who wants to learn everything and anything is a lot of fun. Seeing him flirt with Kurenai and hold his own with Anko is great. The betting pool is huge.”
“Betting pool?” the Hokage asked, reaching into a drawer for his wallet.
“About a quarter of the money is on Naruto getting Anko, another quarter on Kurenai. A third says that the Genin’s get their heads out of their arses, and he goes with one of them, about fifteen percent has him going for a civilian, with the cutie from the Ramen stand a favourite.”
“One hundred thousand Ryō on Naruto getting both Kurenai and Anko,” the Hokage said after a moment’s thought.
Asuma blinked, before he slowly nodded. “Oh yes,” he agreed. “I forgot that Anko’s been chasing Kurenai for years.” He sniggered. “Lucky brat.”
The Hokage just smiled, and his son went silent, as the two men sat in silence, enjoying the finest tobacco the elemental countries had to offer. The Jounin meeting wasn’t due to start for an hour yet.
Naruto arrived at training ground seven bang on time. And traditionally, Kakashi wasn’t there yet. With nothing to do, he decided to flirt with Haku. It would irritate Sasuke, and help the appearance that Haku was female.
Sakura was glaring at Haku, which suddenly gave Naruto a wicked idea. “Hey, Haku-chan,” he called. “Want to go on a date?”
Sakura, for the briefest of seconds looked shocked that Naruto wasn’t asking her out.
“I’m sorry, Naruto-kun,” Haku said gently, “but I am already dating Sasuke-kun.”
“But I’m more fun than the stuck-up bastard,” Naruto begged.
“Bite me, dead last,” Sasuke muttered.
Unable to contain himself, Naruto replied. “I believe that’s now Haku-chan’s job.”
Rather than blush, as he hoped, Sasuke just smirked. “Quite, and I got there first.”
Naruto sighed. “Are you sure?” he asked Haku. “Your duties as his girlfriend will include sticking that stick up his arse every morning.”
Haku giggled cutely.
“Well, if I can’t date you, at least show me that you’ve been practising?”
Haku slid to his feet. “I have, Sasuke-kun and I practised this morning.”
Naruto created a clone and stepped out of the way.
Haku’s hand flew through the signs as he pushed forward. The clone was instantly frozen, and he punched the clone with an uppercut, who shattered, before poofing away.
“What the hell was that?” Kakashi asked, from a corner of the training ground.
“A new Jutsu Naruto-kun taught me,” Haku said softly.
Kakashi sighed. “Well, we’ll be quick today. I have a meeting I can’t be late for. Naruto, you are off team seven. Haku you’re in.”
“What?” Sasuke demanded. “How the hell can I help keep the idiot alive if we’re on different teams?”
Naruto blinked, a sudden feeling of warmth shooting through him. Perhaps, just perhaps, Sasuke was changing, a little.
“Naruto will still train with us, occasionally. But he will also train with the other Genin teams, and keep up his remedial lessons.”
Naruto walked over to Sasuke and nodded to the far side of the bridge, ignoring the others. The two boys walked off together. “I asked the Hokage to do this. As a team, we don’t work. We have two leaders, me and you. And while I respect you - a little, I don’t want to constantly bat heads with you over which one of us is top.”
Sasuke nodded slowly. “I could let you lead,” he whispered.
“Look, I don't want some nice guy act from you; I want the bastard that’s my best friend. With both of us here, we won’t get the attention we need. So, you train your arse off in a situation that suits you, while I do the same in one that suits me. And you prepare for when we go and kill Itachi. Oh, and try and encourage Sakura to be useful - that's the cost of me backing out so you get what you need.”
“I’ll see what Haku needs, and I won’t let Kakashi play favourites again. We will be a team, the best team. The most powerful.”
Naruto grinned at him. “That sounds like someone’s been talking to Haku.”
“He said something to me. Divided we fall, united we stand. He then created an Ice Clone, and the two took me out in a spar in seconds. With someone protecting his back, Haku is great. It was bad for my ego, but he has a way of talking to me, I guess. Anyway, the point is, if I have powerful people with me, I'm going to be even harder to beat.”
Naruto nodded and grinned. “You’re finally learning something. And just think how cool it will be to show up with Itachi, and be happy, fulfilled, and stronger than him? You’ll have beaten him in every way.”
“But he said that I needed to hate to beat him!”
“Bollocks,” Naruto replied instantly. “Here’s an idea, let’s take advice from a maniac who killed everyone you loved! He said that so that you’d be stuck in some tosspot avenger role, never learning where real strength comes from!
“It is only when you fear you could lose everything that you find the strength to persevere.”
“See, you turning up to kill him not through hatred, but because it needs to be done – and because you need his eyes, not for yourself, but for your son or daughter – will completely invalidate everything he’s done.”
Sasuke’s eyes gleamed.
“My advice, is find out today what Haku can do. I’ll bet he’s far better than both of us. After all, he’s been trained by Zabuza practically all his life!”
Sasuke grudgingly nodded.
“Anyway, I’ve got things to do.”
“Naruto,” Sasuke called. “Stop by later?”
Naruto flashed him a grin, and vanished.
The Hokage’s office had automatically been expanded – seals supporting the ceiling – so that all his trusted Jounins could sit down.
As the Hokage was about to start, Anko stumbled in.
“Anko?” The Hokage asked, as the woman looked irritated, amused, and slightly embarrassed.
“Anyone else get a visit from Naruto this morning with a cool present?”
All the people involved in training Naruto raised their hands.
“Yeah, me too. Little bastard pounced on me while I was asleep. I elbowed him in the face, and we struggled, before the damn brat cheated.”
“How?” Kurenai asked curiously.
Anko pouted. “He kissed me, bleeding lip and all. And you know how I feel about a little blood play. Anyway, next thing I know, fox boy had my arms pinned over my head, was writhing away playfully, and then he got my gift out.” She pointed to an item on her belt proudly. “Aren’t they beautiful?”
“Solid gold handcuffs?” Asuma asked doubtfully.
Anko nodded. “He handcuffed me to the bed, I was figuring he’d finally got over his silly morals, when he kissed me lightly, said, ‘hope you like your present!’ and vanished!
“After I finished swearing at him, it took me ages to get out.”
“Why didn’t you just break the bed?” Asked a highly interested Kakashi, whose infamous book was not under his nose.
Anko shot him a look that questioned his sanity. “Because it’s a chakra reinforced bed. It wouldn’t be much fun if you were having fun and accidentally broke out of my restraints, would it?”
The Hokage coughed politely. “As fun it is to hear how one of my special Jounins was defeated by a Genin and a pair of handcuffs, I did call you all here for a reason.”
“I preferred hearing about Anko and Naruto,” Kakashi muttered, to some agreement from the other males.
A wave of killing intent filled the room. “Now that I have your attention,” the Hokage snarled, “I was going to do this the nice way, but I’m tired and I’ve just realised that I was scammed this morning.
“Ibiki, you’ve got the first round of the Chunin exams in a month’s time. Anko, you’ve got the second. Pile on the pressure so that we get as many to quit as possible. The stronger we make the test, the better we will look to our enemies.
“Those of you with Genin groups, I’ll ask you in three weeks time if you want to nominate your teams, and no, Gai, I don’t want to hear about Youth.
“Those not on missions, work on the defences, we’re always the most vulnerable when we’re open. Questions?”
No one said anything.
“Right, as of this morning, Naruto is no longer a member of Team Seven. He now has my permission to join up with the other Genin teams, and to train as he has been with Anko, Ibiki, Kurenai, Hayate, Yugao, Iruka and Hiashi.”
“If anyone else wants to help, there’s plenty of fox boy to go around,” Anko added cheerfully. “The boy throws himself into everything he can, and he’s got so much Chakra it’s beautiful, and that’s without the Fox teaching him stuff.”
“Speaking of which,” Kakashi interrupted. “Naruto taught Haku a new move this morning, and this one is deadly. Haku has a lot of control over the ice element, and this move pushes it. She makes a few seals, and pushes forward. The victim is instantly frozen solid, and then Haku follows it up with a punch, shattering the victim into a thousand pieces.”
“I’ve got to get fox boy to teach me something like that,” Anko almost moaned in pleasure. “As much as I hate the Kyūbi, having an all powerful nine tailed demon helping us out makes up for a lot of it.”
“Anko,” Kurenai sighed, she was playing with a golden hair clip. “That sound is disturbing, whether it’s to do with sex or violence, both of which Naruto-kun is a little too young for.”
“Bollocks,” Anko snapped back. “Any man who can become the hottest chick I’ve seen, and then kiss me like a chick, is not to young for some fun and games.” She paused, “I wonder if she’d be a virgin every time she changed, and I could take it again and again.”
A couple of men collapsed from blood loss.
“Only three?” Anko asked. She sighed and shook her head in disappointment.
“Anko,” the Hokage sighed. “Do you have to do this every meeting we have?”
She nodded. “Yes, definitely. The only time I didn’t was because Yugao, Hana and Kurenai had me fucked silly the night before.”
“Yay,” Anko cheered, as another four of the males fainted. It was her goal in life to get Gai to faint, but he was too innocent, and even now, all he was doing was muttering about unyouthfulness.
"Anko," Tsume muttered, "could you not use my daughter's name like that while I am around?"
“Get out of here, the lot of you,” the Hokage said. “Take your fallen colleagues with you, and next time, could we please not act like children?”
“No deal, old man,” Anko said.
She was suddenly held against a wall by an extremely annoyed Hokage. “I allow Naruto to call me that because I have known him all his life, and because it is his way of showing me the greatest of respect. I will not accept it from others, understand?”
Anko looked at him for a long moment. “Where the hell have you been for the last ten years, professor?”
The Hokage looked surprised.
“You’ve spent so much time dealing with crap, you forgot who you are.”
Kurenai moved over. “We’ve been pushing you because we want our boss back, not some old man who is a shadow of his former self.”
The old man looked around, to see most of his Jounins nodding in agreement.
“Hayate?” the Hokage said softly.
“Professor?”
“Many years ago, I disbanded a training organisation named Root. It was lead by Council Member Danzo, and it tried to brainwash our young into following him, and him alone.
“I’ve been aware for some time that they are still in operation. I believe it is time I did something about it. Lead the Jounins. I want Danzo’s head on my desk by the end of today.”
Anko cheered happily.
“Right,” Hayate said, “as the boss is back, he can look over our plans. Ideas, people.”
Naruto frowned as he couldn’t find any of the people he normally trained with, so he went to see the Hokage.
He was a little surprised to find everyone together, pouring over maps and blue prints.
“Please tell me that you’re not planning something secret,” he groaned.
“Why?” Hayate asked.
“Because I won’t have been the only person to notice that you’ve all been gone this morning.”
The Jounin – those that weren’t wearing masks – looked slightly embarrassed. “What are you planning anyway?”
“Eliminating a problem in Konoha. There’s a group call Root lead by Danzo that the Hokage disbanded many years ago. They’re still going, so it’s time for Danzo to pay,” Hayate explained. “The Hokage has allowed me the honour of being in charge.”
“Cool,” Naruto said. “Way to go Sleepy. So what’s Root all about anyway?”
“Basically, Danzo tried to make super loyal soldiers with no personality, loyal to only him, and we think he wants to rule Konoha.”
“Gotcha, so it’s a case of cut of the head and the body dies?”
Hayate nodded.
Naruto stared at the plans for a full invasion of the Root compound and rolled his eyes.
Anko groaned and started to bang her head against the table.
“Anko?” Kakashi asked.
“We didn’t look underneath the underneath,” she mumbled.
“Naruto-kun,” Kurenai said softly, “what have we missed?”
“You mean apart from thinking that you’re Samurai, not Ninja?”
Everyone in the room went quiet.
“Right, Hayate, stand here,” he pointed to a spot. “And ready your sword. Swing one second after you see the lightning. Everyone else, put this room back to normal and hide.”
Naruto made some hand signs and vanished, appearing outside Danzo’s council rooms. He knocked politely. The door was opened by a masked ANBU member.
“I’ve got a message for Danzo-sama,” Naruto said politely.
“Let him in.”
Naruto walked into the room, and looked at the old man. Despite the fact he was missing an arm, he held an aura of power around him. Naruto bowed formally. “The Hokage politely requests your presence.” There were two other people sat at his desk, Koharu and Homura, they’d often tried to keep him away from the Hokage when he was younger. And they'd obviously had a hand in making Sasuke such a git. The Hokage needed advice from people that Naruto trusted, not self-serving wretches like these.
“Oh?” Danzo asked. “That’s the third time this week,” he grumbled. “Do you know what it is about?”
Naruto looked around conspiratorially. “I think the old man’s getting ready to retire,” he said.
“Really? Well, we wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, would we?”
Naruto looked around again. “How about I take you and your advisors via the lightning?”
Danzo looked interested. “You can take others?”
Naruto nodded. “It’s harder, but I can do it. I’ve wanted to share the technique, but no one else has been able to do it.”
“That is very rare, but it is good to see the young dedicated to Konoha.” Danzo stood, and moved in front of his desk, the two advisors flanking him.
“Please place a hand on my shoulder,” he said, as he started the hand signs slowly. They vanished, and arrived in front of the Hokage’s desk. Without hesitation, Naruto ducked and thrust both his hands out, one to each side. His swords launched into his hands, and in to the unsuspecting stomachs of the Koharu and Homura. At the same time, there was a slight crack of a sword breaking the sound barrier, followed by a thump as Danzo’s head landed on the Hokage’s desk.
Kakashi and Gai both moved forward and ended the lives of the two disembowelled council members.
“Well, that was fun,” Naruto said cheerfully. “I’m going to see if my favourite Ramen stand is open in its new location.”
The Sandaime looked at his Jounins and sighed. They were all hanging their heads in embarrassment, which looked amusing from Ibiki.
“What have we learnt today?” he asked. The good thing about being the boss was that he didn’t have to admit that he hadn’t thought of something so sneaky, and he could use it as a training exercise and keep his reputation intact.
He would, of course, reward Naruto later.
“Not to forget that we are Ninja,” Asuma sighed.
“And that all plans should be run through the brains of a child to check they’ve not got massively obvious holes in them.” Kurenai added.
“That the power of youth shines brightly in Naruto.” Gai cheered.
“That we can be glad he’s on our side?” Akimichi Chōza added cheerfully.
“That maybe Anko and Kurenai have been telling the truth,” Inuzuka Tsume said thoughtfully.
“Quite,” the Hokage said. “Direct confrontation should always be avoided. Babe-chan… Sorry, Yugao, could you please go and fetch Hiashi?”
The masked ANBU member nodded and vanished.
“Babe-chan?” Tsume asked.
“Naruto’s fault,” Hayate explained. “He calls me ‘Sleepy’ and Yugao ‘Babe’ when we’re in ANBU masks.”
Some of the Jounins snickered.
“Oh, speaking of which,” Hayate continued. “Another new Jutsu popped up this morning when Naruto was delivering our presents. This one turns him in to the single cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It was all I could do not to pounce on him screaming Kawaii myself.”
“Oh?” The Hokage asked.
“Henge,” Hayate muttered.
“KAWAII!” Tsume yelled, at the gap-toothed smiling child. She was in the air to glomp him, when Hayate cancelled the Henge.
Tsume managed to stop in mid-air, and only looked faintly embarrassed.
Yugao appeared back, with Hiashi. He looked at the Jounins, the dead council members, then at Danzo’s head. “I’m going to love this story,” he said slowly.
When Naruto arrived in the main market place, he found that Ayame was still moving bits and pieces, while her old man was setting things up.
Five minutes later, with the aid of several hundred clones, they were moved and ready, and both his friends were inundated with hungry patrons.
Naruto smiled to himself. Life was good.
The Third Hokage stood in front of a cloth covered table, as the council entered the room.
“I’m glad you could make it,” he said cheerfully.
“What about Danzo?” Tsume asked.
"Why, he's already here,” the Hokage pointed out, as he whipped off the cloth, showing the heads of his two ex-teammates and Danzo.
He had mourned the memory of his friends earlier that day, but he found he was more upset about the memory of how they had been, rather than how they were before Naruto had introduced his sword to their stomachs.
“As you can see,” the Hokage continued in the silence, “Danzo was found guilty of running an illegal operation in Konoha, and was sentenced to death. Sadly, my two advisors were killed during the sentencing.
“Now, as I have everyone's attention, it's time to talk about the role the civilian council play in our lovely village.
“The clan leaders do, of course, have other responsibilities, but I was unsure as to what the civilian council actually does.”
Some brave individuals tried to interrupt, but he wasn't in the mood for interruptions, so he flooded the room with just how peeved he was at the moment. Extremely.
“I was stunned to learn just how much the civilian side of the council gets in remuneration for your many duties, and while I'm sure that it is a fair scheme, I tried to find out what you actually do.
“You can imagine my surprise when I found out that you were supposed to do a lot more than you actually are.
“So, I thought I’d be nice, and let anyone who didn’t want to fulfil the work they are supposed to do, quit.”
Several people started to raise their hands.
“After you’ve paid back the money you received under false pretences,” he finished.
The hands shot down.
“How wonderful,” he remarked, and nodded. Hiashi clapped his hand, and several Jounins entered, each carrying stacks of paperwork, which they quickly handed out.
“So you know,” he said to no one in particular, “the punishment for getting paperwork wrong is death.”
There were some gasps, but no one seemed willing to actually face him. Which was good, as Naruto had pointed out earlier, they were Ninja, not Samurai, and it was about time these civilians realised that their power was what he gave them, and not an ounce more.
He smiled to himself. He was the first Kage in history to defeat paper work. He was, indeed, the Professor.
A few weeks later, several men with white eyes were talking together. “He has gone too far,” the first said. “We cannot have unmarked slaves wandering around.”
“Agreed,” the second said. “The removal of the seal from Neji, as well as the improvement of Hinata and Hanabi is bad for the Clan.”
“So what shall we do?” the third one asked.
“We will remove Hiashi, and his family, and return our Clan to greatness.”
“How? We cannot kill the demon brat, the rest of Konoha would not stand for it, no matter what excuse we give.”
“He is scheduled to meet with the insect clan tomorrow evening. We will poison Hiashi and his family, and then ensure that they are taken out while the slaves see what happens to those who think they can flout Clan tradition.”
“I will call a meeting of the slaves. Once again, the Hyūga clan will be feared and our place will be assured as the strongest Clan.”
Naruto knocked on the Aburane clan gates. They swung open silently. Two people approached him. One was Shino, his old classmate, and one of Kurenai-chan’s Genins. The other, he presumed, was Shino’s father.
This presumption was soon proved correct. “Naruto, welcome. This is my father, Shibi.”
Naruto bowed deeply. “An honour, Shibi-sama.”
“Your words are correct,” Shibi noted. “However, for the purpose of this evening, please utilise the non-formal method of addressing me.”
Naruto grinned at him. “Do I need to send a clone home to get me a thesaurus?”
A flicker of a smile flew over his face, for the briefest of seconds, illuminating his eyes.
“Come,” he said. “A wonderful meal has been prepared.”
“I can’t wait,” Naruto said eagerly, as he looped an arm around Shino. The boy jerked a little, then relaxed as Naruto let him go again, the slight hug over.
Naruto knew that the boy wasn’t used to human contact, people disliked him because his bugs lived inside his skin. As far as Naruto was concerned, that was nothing compared to having a fox live inside you.
They sat down at a large wooden table, at the top end. Naruto was opposite Shino, with Shibi next to them, at the head. Silent serving staff moved around, bringing out the first course, and the drinks.
Naruto frowned. “I was under the impression that your hives generally eat with you?”
“When we are entertaining, we have found that most people prefer not to see our friends crawling over food.”
Naruto shrugged. “I once ate some meat with maggots on it, I was so hungry. A few bugs aren’t going to bother me. You said we were being friendly, so let’s relax.”
Shibi clapped his hands, and two large plates of honey were brought out. A long trail of insects quickly started to drain from each of the men, into the honey, before they trailed back.
“Cool,” Naruto noted. “So, as we’re being friendly. Why the invitation?”
“It was logical,” Shino said. “You have been changing the village, and you have not been following the path of logic, yet you are accomplishing things.”
“Not following logic?” Naruto demanded playfully. “I’ll have you know that I’m extremely logical. It’s everyone else who is insane. And if I had my sweet hat, you’d understand.”
Shibi blinked. “You wore a pirate hat?”
“It was close, but not close enough,” Naruto agreed. “A sweet hat is all that stands between me and greatness.”
“But that is not logical.”
“Nor is dancing in the rain, but that doesn’t stop it from being fun.”
“So your purpose is fun?” Shibi asked.
“No,” Naruto said, shaking his head. “What do your hives want?”
“To live, and to breed the next generation,” Shino replied.
“Is that what you want as well?”
“What else is there?”
“Life, my friends, life. The purpose of life is simple. Progeny is a part of that, sure, but the biggest thing in life is the ability to look back when you are about to die, and know that you have lived!
“I wake up each morning excited about the new things I am going to learn, about the experiences I am going to enjoy. And even if things are bad, I’ll keep going, because it can’t rain forever, and if, as a Ninja, I die young, I’ll still be able to say that I lived every damn day I could!”
Shibi and Shino looked at each other. “Your words are not what we expected,” Shibi admitted. “I am not sure how to respond.”
“You don’t need to,” Naruto said, “my life is suited for me. I think that everyone should try it, but it might not suit you. You have a simple outlook on life that works for you, why change it?”
“Because change is good?” Shino asked. “It can flush out the decay and leave you ready to rebuild.”
Naruto winked at them, before he frowned. “That’s not right,” he muttered. “Excuse me.” He made a clone, and muttered “Kawaii No Jutsu,” under his breath. He vanished out the roof window.
“Hi,” The clone said cheerfully. “You can call me Eleven.”
“Eleven?” Shibi asked.
The clone nodded. “Naruto’s got a lot of decent clones out and about today. One of us is reading in the library at the moment. Another is… well, I’m not allowed to tell you that, I don’t think. We’re all very protective of the people we love.”
“A clone is not supposed to be able to hold a conversation,” Shibi pointed out calmly.
The clone took a bite of the food. “Mmm,” he murmured. “Yeah, so Foxy-chan told Naruto. Problem with the boss is that he decides which rules he follows and which he doesn’t. He prefers intelligence, so he makes us with intelligence.”
“You said that one of you is in the library, why?” Shino asked.
Shibi smiled. “One of the secrets of the technique he uses, is that when a clone disperses, the original gets all the information the clone picked up.”
Shino nodded slowly. “So you could create a thousand clones and use them to read the whole library?”
Shibi looked at the clone and raised his eyebrows.
“Before Naruto, the record for clones was eight,” Eleven said. “And that was pushing it. It was when we were building the bridge that Naruto found out that things aren’t as they seem.
“To draw an analogy, you talk to your hives, correct?”
Both bug uses nodded.
“And the hives can tell you what they know, through one voice?”
Again, dual nods.
“Now, what if you had a hundred hives, all talking at once?”
“So you are saying that after a certain number, the data dump is just too loud to be useful?”
“Exactly,” Eleven agreed. “Two or three is a maximum. I think Naruto likes it that way. It means that he has to work for everything himself. It makes him self-reliant, and that’s something he’s proud of.”
“He does use clones all the time,” Shino noted.
Eleven nodded. “He has a goal, we think he’s insane, but then, that’s why he’s the boss. He wants to be able to create a thousand clones with Jounin level chakra.”
Both Father and Son frowned. “Why?”
“Can you imagine anything more terrifying than appearing to have the upper hand, when you are suddenly outnumbered, with a thousand clones, all of whom have Naruto’s skill, and the ability to use Jutsus like Jounins?”
Shino whistled softly.
“Exactly,” Eleven said cheerfully. “I’m the eleventh special clone he has created. I’ve been created fourteen times, and I’m only Chunin level. His maximum is fifteen Chunins at the moment, so he has a long way to go. But like everything, the best way forward is to practice, and the more time Naruto creates clones, the easier it gets.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Shibi asked.
“Shoot,” the clone said, digging into the food.
“What is it like, being a clone?”
“Hmmm,” Eleven said thoughtfully. “It’s weird. I’m not human, but I’m sentient. The only analogy I can give is a basic understanding of your hives. Naruto is the queen, and we’re all the workers. We’re incapable of betraying him, as we are created from him, and we know him inside and out. And that’s not just because we’re dependent on him.
“Naruto isn’t right, we all know this, but his wrongness is just exhilarating. He doesn’t accept obstacles; he sets his eyes on a target and goes for it, and just because the root he takes is as straight as a corkscrew, doesn’t make it any less effective.”
“Thank you,” Shibi said. “This is fascinating.”
Eleven frowned. “Naruto will be back shortly, they were lucky they didn’t touch her, we’d tear them apart limb from limb while there were still breathing.”
“What are you talking about?” Shino asked.
“A load of level ones have just dispersed, so I got a view of the whole thing.”