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Reviews

Jimbocous posted a comment on Friday 22nd February 2019 4:06am for Chapter 7

Just a heads-up, fwiw. The embedded video link in Author Notes fails:

https://youtu.be/tCsUe_z1-H4

"The YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated due to multiple third-party notifications of copyright infringement."

NarutosBrat posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2018 12:32pm for Chapter 7

Good on Daphne seizing the day like that.

Podska over Quidditch any day of the week. That one section of Podska was more entertaining than every reference of Quidditch I've read whether it be books or fanfiction.

BAFan posted a comment on Friday 1st January 2016 4:20pm for Chapter 7

Excellent chapter! I love how their friendship has grown and become more important than winning, even though they're still competitive. And I'm so glad that Harry is beginning to realize that his instant attachment to Sirius was based more on desperation than on actual liking. Of course, so far at least Sirius hasn't been displaying any of the usual biased, Slytherin-hating, pranks-loving attitude we normally see in fanfics, which makes it easier for Harry (and me) to genuinely like/love him. I am enjoying this a lot.

Now having said all that, I was pondering why I'm not completely happy with this story, and I realized that something is missing (for me, at least). So far the focus has been almost entirely on Harry and Friends, which is understandable. We have very little idea of what is happening outside that group in terms of what the rest of the student body and staff are experiencing. We've been seeing events from inside a Harry bubble, so to speak. I for one would dearly love to know what Ron, Dean, Seamus, et al, are thinking and feeling. Ditto with Voldemort, for that matter.

JMO, of course!

~Debbie

jchangpa posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 3:49pm for Chapter 7

First, I am not against lesbians, I love the way they live there life withou trying to impose it to others. Now I dislike the way you are killing any posible romatic relation between Harry and same age laydies. First the whole sister thing between H/DG, then the lesbian part between DG/FD. Then HG said she has a crush on CD. Love the new sport, love the way the friendship between the champions been develope. Really love the future thinking carrer that is one thing almos nobody do at 15. So as a whole is a great story, as any excellent story it will bump with smaller thing that could be over look. So thanks for the excellent part. Let see how it coninue.

kstchr posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 7:06am for Chapter 7

Very cool game!!! I'm also glad that Harry's started branching off to making other things with his metalwork...that family crest he made/Daph designed sounds absolutely stunning!

Celebrithil posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 6:02pm for Chapter 7

My favourite moments in this chapter were how Daphne comforted Harry, showing that, however much of a badass he is, he's still vulnerable; the question and resulting advice about Sirius between Harry and Derek and Cressida; and how you handled the Horcurx. You could have taken a shortcut and just have Harry curse him in the most humiliating way he could find with Romilda and Nadyia, but instead of taking the easy road, you set it up to still (potentially) have an awesome final confrontation.

I hope Wednesday went well for you.

Patches posted a comment on Thursday 6th November 2014 9:50am for Chapter 7

This is a little sad in the beginning. Harry was really upset about the battle he just had and the lives he had to take. I'm so glad that the elf told Daphne that Harry needed her and why. Daphne fills a special place in Harry's life. She is truly filling the position of a sister for him. She really loves Harry for himself and for the role he has in her life. That is very well done. I really like the way the other girls handled the fact that Daphne was able to help Harry when he needed it and the rest also have their roles to fill. Very well done. I really like the interaction between Daphne and Fleur. It actually made sense though I usually don't like gay relationships. This one seems right to me. I will see how it developes. Augusta making an alliance with Harry made sense too. She is very old school and this is a great arrangement for her and Neville in relationship to Harry. Moody is a piece of work in himself. You portrayed him perfectly except I find it hard to imagine Moody saying "ooo, ooo, me, me!" to anything. It works here though. The Podska game was great. I can almost see all 6 of them bouncing around the field in all kinds of ways. A very believeable magical game. I especially like the way that Victor handled the press. Harry's handling of Skeeter with the elves was perfect. Thanks for writing. p

sanbeegoldiewhitey posted a comment on Tuesday 4th November 2014 12:58am for Chapter 7

Very, very good chapter. The best parts were Harry's platonic shower scene with Daphne and the Podska game. I felt bad for Tori and Romi. They really wanted to win.

bkfriend posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2014 7:42pm for Chapter 7

Hi,

Like Jbern you too have now created a new sport. Also, like Jbern it is an enjoyable one. Thank you for enriching my entertainment time!

Brian

Renzo7 posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2014 4:26pm for Chapter 7

As always, excellent work. You have such incredible talent, that every chapter has my mood swinging along with the character's.

Podska was fun! I enjoyed reading the game and the interactions. I found it very appropriate that Harry asked Dobby to stay for a while so he could also comment. Getting Skeeter ejected was brilliant! I laughed so hard at that, as well as the "will I get ejected..." from the other reporter.

Your writing has always been incredibly addictive to me. Hope, Hogwart's Dawn, White knight, Grey queen, Best Man, Blue Steel, Perfect Slytherins... You have so many wonderful stories. In Best Man, you stated that Harry/Fleur was your pairing of choice. I hope you have something planned with that ship, because it's one of my favorites, too, and I can see Daphne's got dibs here :P. (I also recall you saying this story wouldn't have Harry paired up). In case you aren't planning on writing a Harry/Fleur story, would you mind recommending a few? I've read many, but most don't have the character depth I have grown accostumed to with your works.

My condolences on your loss (regarding the funeral you will attend). I hope you find strength with family and friends in this challenging moment. Big hug from Honduras!

FeNo posted a comment on Monday 3rd November 2014 12:20am for Chapter 7

Well first of all: this was grandiose. Very emotional, almost to the amount that the backlash from "feeling" the emotions you're reading about was tiring me out. I guess it's not much better when you write this and it all takes place inside your head?

The scenes with Daphne and Derek were great. Harry is growing and maturing at an enormous rate throughout the whole story and yet it still feels pretty natural for all the weird things happening to him that would be not... I also liked the little Talk Hermione had with Romi... "I would go insane", indeed.

As for Podska... well it might have been nice to deliver the english translation with the bulgarian name and i'm a bit disturbed that the sport you came up with is even more athletic than Quidditch (yeah i know people usually sneer at guys sitting on a broom and calling that sport, but i can't help but think of driving a motorcycle through a 3D parcours at top speed and not having road friction to help with the steering and holding on path... it must take a lot of body work to keep those small twigs under control and do tight spins, climbs and whatever nots. No wonder only a miniscule amount of people even try to play the game for earnest.) and ultimately far more demanding than the older sport.

They really should do something to create "entrance"/ amateur level sporting challenges like the first game of "Tag" they tried out when Harry first made the boots. And maybe even make different kinds of boots for the different levels of adventure people would seek... not everyone will be able to master a firebolt after all, so why should all boots be the same when 90% of the potential customers never will be able to use the top level abilities to their fullest extent? and 100 yard high jumps through the neighborhood could frighten a lot of people regardless of the safety procedures built into the boots.

I'm not saying Podska is a bad idea, just that it needs a bit of refinement to make it playable if you don't have the world's elite sports stars at hand to try a quick game....

A similar feeling creeps into the story whenever you go that much overboard with the praise for Harry's products... yeah i understand it, he is a natural and he gives his all whenever he starts up his smithy. Yet he only did this for what? November to March? five months? which would make him a dedicated and talented noob but still a rookie in everything related to smithing. Where are the things he does not succeed in producing the first time? Where are the things he still is not good enough to try? Declaring every new attempt at smithing something into a work of beauty and have people lining up to buy "something like that" may seem a nice idea on paper, but if you sit down and think a bit about it it just elevates the poor boy into very elated heights, from which a drop would be very hurtful. Where can he still grow if you have him make beautiful, useful and nigh to indestructables items after just having learned how to swing a hammer? It feels rushed and too much too soon when reading it.

Would it really have hurt to make his gift to the Greengrasses a fireplace screen from those warped iron stuff he thinks about when confronted with a staircase he thinks he could replicate? Would it have hurt to make it nice to look at yet not quite perfect and with some minor quirks that future attempts probably will work out with more experience?

Harry now has such a strong personal life with a wonderful supporting group almost like a tight knit family around him, he really does not need to become more superman than superman, better at armoring than Iron Man and better at smithing than Vulcanus/Hephaistos himself... I get that it is not just a hobby but his future profession and something he can live out his ambitions in without ever being rueful or in doubt about it... But he also has got a century to become godlike in his chosen profession and not granting him any faults or imperfections hurts the character as much as the other factors of your story have been good to him.

Sorry for the long ranting, but i guess that really wanted out of my system. I still love the story and your two little heartbreakers are amongst the cutest and most adorable pairing ideas for Harry i#ve ever seen in fanfiction. It's just that some things still tend to drive me nuts when reading them and putting them into context when other things are happening around them... i can't help myself there.

joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 9:42pm for Chapter 7

Some extra funny moments, like when Moody got all eager-monkey with the AK.

Entertaining chapter. Thanks for the update.

Wolfric posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 9:17pm for Chapter 7

Great chapter. Can I get an elf as well? Thanks for writing. W.

Sanabalis posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:56pm for Chapter 7

Your writting is absolutely brilliant! Every chapter is, to me, perfect! I often re-read your stories, and always eagerly await updates! I hope your muse helps you write lots and lots and lots of stories more! And faster! :P

Michael Cornfoot posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:46pm for Chapter 7

No mention at all about any weasley. I know theyre not friends with Harry anymore but Im surprised that you havent mentioned Ron starting anything with Harry or Ginny starting anything with Romi or Tori.

Also, in regards to those two girls, I would suggest that both end up with Harry. It would be the easiest way to go I suppose and would be a good way of confusing Harry and him having to learn about unusual relationships. Im sure we both know that Harry has enough love to give and would be more than willing.

Lisagrace posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:39pm for Chapter 7

Fun chapter, enjoyed this and the game. Love Dobby's Elves speech.

Tim Sullivan posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:37pm for Chapter 7

A great chapter as usual. I was highly intrigued by some of the hints at background in Dobby's speech to that reporter.

The Seeker posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:03pm for Chapter 7

The scene with Daphne and Harry, at the start of the chapter, was wonderfully described, especially how well each knows the other and can provide the emotional support needed. Also, the snap shots of Daphne and Fleur, Astoria and Romi, especially in their x-rated thoughts, and of Hermione were written with your usual flair and attention to detail and much enjoyed.

Harry's actions and those of the ICW, along with the conversation between Harry, Albus and Mad Eye showed we're now on the final approach to the end of the story. Funny feeling, since I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing this could last much, much longer.

Harry's conversation with Cress and Derek (can't even type his name without smiling - he's an amazing, one of a kind character and a brilliant creation) was spot on, with the parents going to the crux of the problem and providing appropriate guidance. The topper, of course, was the Greengrass family crest, with the amazing reactions from Harry's surrogate parents. Back at school, the various reactions were entertaining, especially Astoria's incredibly cute business hat, and Viktor's comment about eliminating the middle man was hilarious.

You've got to license Podska and put teams together! I loved how you had the elves create the game and just as interesting, the playing field. Plus, it would be easier for HP fans to replicate than Quidditch. It was a very fun game, and you didn't surprise me at all by having the Blue team win, because we know for Harry it was the fun of playing, a chance to be with good friends and do something that put the elves' abilities center stage.

Your comments about Harry's relationship with Sirius made me think that his relationship with Molly Weasley was similar to that. Harry wanted a family he could identify with so badly and ended up bonding with the Weasleys to the point where Molly considered him another son, despite not having seen Harry very often at all through the first half of his time in the wizarding world. It applies even more strongly in Sirius' case.

Another excellent chapter. I hope all goes well next week and that the funeral is a positive experience. - The Seeker

tcl7189 posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 7:36pm for Chapter 7

Another awesome chapter.. Can't wait for the next one!!

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 6:41pm for Chapter 7

Another great chapter. This time I especially liked Harry's remorse and how he was helped through it. Well done and thanks.