Michael10 posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 4:56pm for Chapter 3

thank you for another chapter and as always keep up the good work

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 3:38pm for Chapter 3

A great update, I especially like the part where the children were still children.

keichan2 posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 1:12pm for Chapter 3

"he wouldn’t have had the patience to watch someone work on a forge as they had" Bwahahahahaha! I wouldn’t say it is patience ;-p

"just to reassure himself that he was still straight" Ooh… Must have been such a chore… ;-p

"They had found the spells to give him the experience[…]and increase his smithing ability" And right now, I’m expecting that Harry will need none of that and simply ask for the egg in Parseltongue…

"We do get to keep it, after we’ve killed it, right?" OK… I’m revising my previous comment, given Harry is already considering the armour(s) he’ll make with the remains of said dragon…

"Now I can make even better armour with dragon scale and bones." I find myself wondering: Does Harry intend to ADD to his armour to improve it, or REPLACE his basilisk armour by a dragon one?

"And let me remind you that he can make armour and a shield form from the ground." Hey! I didn’t think about it that way! We knew he spent time making the armour, and "just" found a flashy way to put it on and off, but indeed, to those that didn’t know that, it indeed might seem like he is able to conjure an armour strong enough to survive dragon fire…

I’m surprised about Amelia… She does seem to only be after one thing: herself! So… Was she manipulating the Minister, or is she no better than the rest of the Ministry? (edit: the ending notes answer this…)

"Yeah, but I think I’m a bit young to be licking spray cream off of his chest" Bwahahahahaha! (Couldn’t help but think this was an answer of the kind of those "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" from Pinky and the Brain :-D)

Thanks for the new chapter!

I hope to read more soon!

brennus posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 1:03pm for Chapter 3

*Sigh* It doesn't give me any pleasure to leave this review, but this is what the comments section is for. This story is awful. Oh, it has some positive points: as always, it's well written, gypsy Vane is an interesting character and I'm intrigued by what they'll do with the Horcrux in Harry, but the rest of it drags it down. Now, I'll ignore the Ginny-bashing as it’s a minor part of the plot, although I think you'd be better served just leaving her out rather than turning her into an unrecognisable OC. But really, the girls don't like most of the boys at Hogwarts because they smell? That's something a five year-old would say! Frankly, I would expect something better from the writer of 'This Means War' and 'White Knight, Grey Queen'. There are numerous other minor plot holes, like saying the Parkinsons are eating bread and butter because the elves won't cook for them now. No, they have enough money to hire staff - they'd just go out and eat! The whole Lucius song thing was ridiculous, too. Why would Narcissa believe a song that he was obviously charmed to sing would be true? And it's hardly justification to be arrested, is it? Astoria's is also a completely characterless, as well.

I think the main problem I have with the story is that it doesn't know what it wants to be. It's not funny enough to be a comedy and not exciting enough to be an action/adventure. The whole premise you based it on of Harry, dressed in armour, slaying a dragon just isn't strong enough to carry the story. This almost feels like a parody of a Super-Powered! Harry story.

Sadly, this story continues the downward trend in my opinion of your latest work. I really don't like 'Hogwarts Dawn' and even the last chapter of 'Perfect Slytherins' wasn't as good as what went before it. I appreciate that I'm a lone voice of dissent, but you were a major influence on me and one of a handful of writers that encouraged me to have a go myself. It pains me that I have to stop reading your work because I'm simply not enjoying it anymore. Thanks for all your past stories, and I wish you luck in your future work.

musketau posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 12:51pm for Chapter 3

Another great instalment. Harry is building on his own and his friends achievements, and it's leading in a fun direction. I do wonder how, or if, smithing can be used in the second task, unless he makes the old armored diving suit, although it could be used for his weapons.

I knew i knew Derek from something, but it took to his line about being ridiculously good looking for it to hit, then i had to go back and reread that part again.

12 for the girls is young, but you and they accept that, and that it will be in the future they get together, if at all. These ideas are interesting because i can believe them right up until i look at my 12 year old niece and think of her thinking the same. It doesn't compute. Yet it is still believable. In the past, marriage was at that age, and they were expected to run a home.

Okay, that went in a different direction.

I am enjoying what you are giving us through Blue Steel, and hope to see more soon (please give us the next part of Hogwarts Dawn as well. Please)

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 12:43pm for Chapter 3

I like the changes to the standard version, it did seem much more realistic. Loved the Zoolander bits!

joeBob posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 10:50am for Chapter 3

Entertaining chapter.

Killing that dragon was wrong. (1) Because they are almost certainly endangered species (2) It was a female of breeding age (3) It was a nesting mother. I'm not an eco-nazi saying that, either. I eat meat, harass Sierra Club members, and used to hunt. In canon, Krum lost points for damaging an *egg*. For killing a breeding female, Harry should have lost the whole tournament by the same standard.

Thanks for the update.

ILikeToRead posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 9:53am for Chapter 3

Great chapter and lots of fun with the Knight fighting the dragon scene. I like the relaxed relationship between Harry and Albus as well. Thanks for sharing!

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 9:15am for Chapter 3

Arresting someone because he have been cursed?

You write nice stories, but you unfortunately skew towards God Mode characters (which is not necessarily bad), and Acceptable Targets and a bit of Double Standard - what is unacceptable for villains (e.g. baseless arrest or summary execution) is acceptable for heroes...

NWL posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 8:14am for Chapter 3

Just a quick comment. Just as there's a difference between "All dead" and "Mostly dead", there is a difference between "Commercially extinct" and "Extinct". "Commercially extinct" means that your chances if finding any wood in quantity to work with are pretty much nonexistent; however, trees still can be found, the species is still available, and (with time and care) the species may one day be cultivated again in your typical tree-farm conditions. Cuban mahogany, which is what you reference here, is commercially extinct, though I understand some cultivation is occurring to produce a sustainable product that can be sold. "Extinct", on the other hand, means that no specimens of the species are alive today. It's gone; you're not getting it back short of mad-scientist work.

gosumdoji posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 7:30am for Chapter 3

This chapter just reinforces my conviction that you're one of the VERY few fanfic authors I can depend on to never leave me wanting (with a story). Excellent work again, Mr. J.

Puffyboots posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 7:07am for Chapter 3

Great story, very entertaining. Can't wait to read more!

Davideg posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 6:51am for Chapter 3

I am loveing this story thank you for sharing another fantastic chapter as well as for all the time and effort put in to this story please continue to update as life allows.

Wolfric posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 6:38am for Chapter 3

I enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for writing. W.

Mistress of Potions posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 6:31am for Chapter 3

Once again, the pitcher hangs a slow one over the plate and Jeconais knocks it out of the park!

sh8ad8ow posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 6:20am for Chapter 3

Excellent chapter, really liked what you did in this chapter with Amelia and Fudge as well as how you did the first task.

TheSandyToadfish posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 5:20am for Chapter 3

I really like this story. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise the zoolander reference. I like the less angsty take on the "betrayal". Well, not much to say except I can't wait to see more.

Anansii posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 5:15am for Chapter 3

I do believe you may have found a unique variation on the Tri-Wizard tournament. Shades of Saint George! The more I see of this story, the better it gets. Delightful, and looking forward to see what happens next.

gadriam posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 5:13am for Chapter 3

Awesome. Not much to say, really. Nothing is bad, or even normal. All is very well indeed. I like Derek as i like Michael. Prettyboy characters can indeed be a lot of fun and the flirting was great. The demise of the most unfortunate dragon was also fantastic. I really enjoyed the fact that the armor wasn't perfect, and didn't work quite as well as he had hoped. I'm eagerly awaiting next installment of the awesome adventures of Harry and his Horde.

Whenever you're ready, I'll be right here.

g

witowsmp posted a comment on Sunday 5th October 2014 5:08am for Chapter 3

That was an enjoyable, unique, first task. I've read (and even written) many versions of it, but never one like that. And that is the most important aspect of fanfiction - it's not the same as the books.