Always
1 - Blaze of Glory
By Jeconais
Xander woke with a start, his hands instinctively going to the old six shooter in his lap. He had 'borrowed' it from his Uncle Rory a few hours ago. He knew that sleeping out in the open was almost an open invitation to be eaten, but he could not face going home again. He sighed tiredly, wondering how he was going to get through the day.
He unrolled the old coat he had used for a pillow and stood, stretching. He winced as the bright Californian sunlight burnt his eyes.
He looked at his watch, he was wearing the present from Willow all those years ago. It was nearly time for school. He trudged slowly, convinced that his would be his last day on earth.
He was alone as he walked. Willow and Oz were 'panicing', Buffy was recovering in hospital, with Giles watching over her. At their graduation this afternoon, Mayor Richard Wilkins III was planning to become an immortal demon.
Xander knew that they would not be able to stop him, the Mayor had been planning this for too many years to be stopped at this last point.
I wake up in the morning
And I raise my weary head
I've got an old coat for a pillow
And the earth was last night's bed
I don't know where I'm going
Only God knows where I've been
I'm a devil on the run
A six gun lover
A candle in the wind
When Xander had eventually arrived home, earlier this morning, his parents had been arguing again. He had stopped by the door, then decided he could not face his last night on earth with them. About all they had done for him was give birth and feed him.
"Come on, Baby" Jack whispered, kissing his girlfriend hard.
"Jack, stop it," she whined, her voice sounding slurred. "I don't wanna do this."
"Sure you do," Jack said, pulling back. He passed her the toke they had been smoking.
She inhaled hard, drawing the smoke into her lungs. Her head rolled back as she half passed out.
Jack grinned and moved over her.
"You got her pregnant." Jonathan Thomas said, sounding disgusted. "Now, You're going to marry her."
"What?" Jack exclaimed, shocked. He turned to look at his father, who shook his head, telling him he had no choice. Jack slumped back in chair, shaking his head.
"You have a son," his father told him. He shrugged, "She can name him, I don't care."
His father frowned and sighed, for some reason he felt worried for his grandson. "She named him Alexander."
"Where have you been, Xander?" Willow demanded, then ignored him before he could answer. "I've got your graduation clothes here."
"Thanks Wills" he said with a smile.
When you're brought into this world
They say you're born in sin
Well at least they gave me something
I didn't have to steal or have to win
Well they tell me that I'm wanted
Yeah, I'm a wanted man
I'm a colt in your stable
I'm what Cain was to Abel
Mister catch me if you can
Xander saw Anya running down the hall.
"Anya, wait!" Xander shouted, "Where you going?"
"Anywhere. If there's a lunar shuttle going up anytime soon, I'm on it."
"We need you here. You might be able to help."
"Or I might be able to live. You can't stop the Ascension."
"We have to try, we can't just give in."
Anya paused for a second, "I'm thousands of years old, I'm not going to loose all that now. Come with me, think of your future, what it would be like to be old."
Xander sighed softly, "I'm not convinced I'm going to see tomorrow, never mind ten years time."
"What about sex, Xander? We could go somewhere, have lots of hiding sex, come back when it's over."
Xander's smile twisted as he looked at her in complete disbelief. "Go Anya," he said calmly, turning away and walking back to the library.
As he walked, he thought of Cordelia, the girl he had betrayed. He thought about Buffy, the girl who controlled his heart, even though she didn't seem to care. He realised he couldn't let them die, he couldn't let the mayor succeed.
He ducked out of a side door, running to his car.
He arrived home minutes later, bursting through the door. His fathers drunk voice yelled something at him, but he ignored it. He ran into his room, carelessly thowing the bed to one side. He pulled up the flooring, revealing the plastic explosive he had stolen along with the rocket launcher.
'I knew this would come in handy' he whispered to himself.
You ask about my conscience
And I offer you my soul
You ask if I'll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I'll grow old
You ask me if I've known love
And what it's like to sing songs in the rain
Well, I've seen love come
And I've seen it shot down
I've seen it die in vain
It wasn't working. Buffy had just jumped out of the window. The explosion was supposed to happen next, but it hadn't. Xander looked around, searching. Giles was desperately pressing the plunger. The students were still fighting hand to hand with the vampires. They fought for their lives, and for the first time, revenge.
He swore loudly, a giant snake, which was the newly ascended mayor, came slithering back out of the school.
"Buffy!" he yelled, pointing, before being distracted by a vampire attacking him. He ducked, then stood up as fast as he could, jamming the stake in his hand into the vampires chest.
As Buffy got close to the snake, it whipped it's tail around, sending her flying. She landed against a wall, her hand banging and slumped down, unable to move.
"God, give me the strength to do this," Xander prayed, taking a deep breath.
The giant snake reared back, then swallowed one of the students whole. The others screamed, backing away, starting to panic.
"Stand firm," Xander screamed, "Fire your cross bows at him. Give me time."
The students obeyed him, trusting him as they had since the start.
Small fires had broken out across the field, causing smoke to fill the area.
Xander met Giles's eyes, he gave him a half salute, then started to run, tearing off his graduation gown.
Giles shouted something, but Xander couldn't hear, didn't want to hear.
Willow watched him run directly at the giant snake, and screamed as well.
"Hey, snake face," Xander shouted, pulling out his six-shooter again. "Down here, come on, eat me, I'm full of twinkies, very sweet." He shot at the giant serpent, drawing its attention as it screamed in pain, the heavy pullets piercing its skin.
The Mayor responded, rearing up and striking down at Xander.
Buffy's head cleared, she managed to stand, only to see the Snake bearing down on Xander, she took a step, another, trying desperately to get there, to save him.
Xander stared up at his death and did the only thing he could. He grinned. He moved his hand, grasping the detonator to the plastic explosives her had wrapped around his body.
There was a seconds stillness as everyone watched, unable to believe that Xander was gone.
A second later, a huge explosion knocked everyone back as the Snake exploded from the inside. The explosion finally set off the diesel fuel and fertilisers inside the school. Xander's death was marked with a fiery blaze that illuminated the sky for miles around.
Each night I go to bed
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
No I ain't looking for forgiveness
But before I'm six foot deep
Lord, I got to ask a favour
And hope you'll understand
'Cause I've lived life to the fullest
Let this boy die like a man
Staring down a bullet
Let me make my final stand
Buffy fell to her knees, her eyes fixed on the spot she had last seen him. Her mind refused to process what had happened.
Giles slowly walked over to her, dropping down on to his knees. He hugged her silently.
Willow and Oz walked up, Willow was crying as Oz supported her.
Through the smoke, two firmen were helping Wesley into an ambulance. "If I could... could just get something for the pain. It's rather a lot of pain, actually. Aspirin? If you would... uh... ah..." he groaned as they lifted him. "Perhaps I could just be knocked unconscious?"
"He doesn't know, Giles" Oz said, correctly reading the expression on the librarians face.
Giles nodded slowly, turning his head away.
Jonathan approached them, looking a little nervous.
"Hi, Xander asked me to," he started, then rubbed his eyes. "Xander asked me to give you this, if he didn't make it."
He held out a white envelope. Willow grabbed it, tearing it open. Jonathan nodded slowly, then turned, leaving them to their grief.
"Hey Guys," Willow read aloud.
"I figure that if you’re reading this, something went wrong, and key-guy had to put the back-up plan into action.
Before I forget, if you can find the gun I had, return it to my uncle Rory. I kinda borrowed it without permission.
I've not got long to write this, the mayor's speech is due to kick off soon.
Willow, I love you, I always have. Stick with Oz, he's a good guy.
Cordy, I'm sorry. I had a really good thing and I blew it. Its one of the few big regrets I have.
Giles, (yeah, I didn't call you g-man) as hard as this is to say to another man, I love you. You looked out for me, when those that birthed me didn't.
Buffy, I love you, I never stopped.
Well, someone's shouting my name,
Love ya,
X
Ps, If Anya shows up again, don't be to hard on her. Deep down she's a nice person..honest.
Pps, Congrats. You survived. High School is finally over."
Willow finished reading and threw herself back into Oz's arms. She started to cry again, holding him tight.
Buffy did the same, hugging Giles tonight, still unable to believe that Xander was gone.
Cordelia just stood there, stunned, tears slowly dripping down her face.
Somehow, the victory didn't seem to matter any more.
Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I'm going out in a blaze of glory
Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
And I'm no one's son
Call me young gun
I'm a young gun