5 - Barcelona
Wow...the final scenes, starting at the nightclub, are pretty sensational.
Also really appreciate how grounded and real this has been. Can't when authors start off with solid premises and then go all stupid and have the characters being asses; appreciating both the perceived need for a bit of deceit and the honesty that immediately arose when needed.
Aww... This was a sweet one.... And I simply love it! :D
The description of the dance was excellent. I could see it in my head! Well done!
You know, one has to wonder why the Cannons sucked so much if they have such a rigorous training regimen ... It doesn't seem to fit!
Great flying class. And a great date.
I must admit that at first I was skeptical about this story, but someone recommended it to me and I agreed to read it. i am very pleased that I did; it's an excellent story. The characterisation is brilliant and the dialogue is more or less flawless. There aren't any grammar errors as well, which always helps. It may be half one here, but the only reason that I've stopped reading is that I have to get up at five to catch a flight and I want some sleep.
Keep up the good work
This is possibly the best written fan fiction story I have ever read. Brilliant story!
Of course...I love this story. I've read it all the way through three times. You're a brilliant writer and I'm deeply envious of your skills.
BUT - you screwed something up and it needs to be corrected. You wrote:"
“Specifically, on your relationship with magic. It’s different from anyone I’ve ever seen or ever known, and I will not miss out on the chance to graduate a year early.”
It should be written: "“Specifically, on your relationship with magic. It’s different from anyone I’ve ever seen or ever known, and I will not miss out on the chance TO BE GRADUATED year early.”
OK - why, you say? it's because it's the SCHOOL that is doing the graduating. We MATRICULATE to a school and then we are GRADUATED FROM that school.
Anyway - it's a picky grammer point, but SO MANY morons get it wrong and you're just too good to be doing it, too.
Great chapter. I'm trying to find things I liked and disliked to try and be constructive buts its nigh on impossible. Its all so very good. The quidditch try outs; the prefects wouldn't be much use if they've never played either.
I liked how you made Ron and Hermione apologise separately. Harry seemed a lot harder on Hermione but it was justified.
Thanks for writing.
so when do u plan to update this one and post the uther Harry gabby fic
Now that is how you dance the pants off your date. Woot!
This chapter was really well written
Kokopelli says 'the next chapter will blow you away', but I don't know if I've ever seen a better chapter to any story.
So far, this is turning out to be one of my fav. stories of all time, and I've read an almost obscene, embarrassing amount of fanfiction.
I cannot wait to read the next chap.
WOOHOO! Harry and Gabrielle take there relationship to another level. Love the nightclub scene. The way to described her was perfect. I like how Hermione got a talkin' to and how Harry handled it. Awesome chapter.
WOoT! Harry/Gabrielle. Even thought I'm a big Harry/Ginny fan, I find this story very good. I also just found that this space is used for leaving comments. Looking for forward for the next chapter....Until then...
i love harry/gabby or harry/fleur pairings
You know, you're just making me feel so freakin' inadequate as a writer with this story.
Certainly not the first time I've read this story, but still enjoying it immensely.
"like a whisper over the wind"
Hmm. Albus, knowing it would help Harry out in the long run, just implanted the suggestion without any coercion . . . Young and impressionable Gabrielle, who'd just had her life saved, jumped on the possibility.
Or maybe it was Magic herself? She owed him a life-debt, and this was the most immediate and obvious way to pay it back.
Oooh, lots of possibilities. Looking forward to learning which (if any) are right.
I really shouldn’t be laughing at drunkenness but the inebriated boys were so funny I couldn’t resist. Let's just hope no one saw him leaving her room. I really like this - Gabrielle comes across very well.
Just a note... One of the problems with Houses at Hogwarts (from my viewpoint) is that they are in the same one for all 7 years and get way too clicky. I mean, snakes vs lions, dark vs light, etc. If the houses (via the flames) were to rearrange them every year (although not everyone would be moving, since it's random). You could even have the same colors, but next year it would be 4 famous French wizards, then Muggles, then towns, etc... It could be a very good educational tool, actually.
Just a thought.