Hope
By Jeconais
this was the most dramatic thing i think i have ever read of urs, i luv it, it is creative, dramatic, romanic and more. i totally luved it. keep writing PLEASE. i luv ur writing. its like no matter how many times i read this it just gets better and better, like when i read the HP books. sry u will have to get used to me speaking my mind sometime i type, think, and speak without thinking. it is like i just do it cause it is natural and much easier then tryin to think things through even though it can get me into trouble. oh crap im doing it again. sry. any way i do luv this chapter of the tale of a girl and a boy with a small strand of sometimes unforgiving HOPE.
There's something wrong with your time in this one. 2 ends with He will ask Jean tonight about dating Gabby, then he sleeps at their house before asking him. Guess it could have been a nap but I
didn't get that impression when reading it.
Excellent chapter though I think Harry should have quizzed her harder before leaving. His anger seems too sudden.
Well written and I love the story.
Scott
Wow! That was one serious turn to the contentious. Obviously you'd made it clear that Harry was beginning to put the pieces together, but I didn't expect the revelations to be so sudden or
explosive. Still, I must say I'm pleased and impressed.
It's obvious there's not going to be an easy romance now, and I find that encouraging. It seems you've set a stage where your characters are going to have to grow and develop trust to fit together
and I think that's a nice change from your other novel-lengths. You've also set a stage where you could have gone dark just as easily as turn out a happy ending. If I didn't know this was a
"fairytale", from this point I wouldn't be at all surprised to see this end with an honorable but miserable Harry or an insane Gabrielle.
I appreciated that the rest of the chapter was was set in a way that it let you give us a good close-up look at many of your secondary characters. It's interesting, for example, that Jean calls Harry
a knight when he better fits the description himself. A war hero of obviously cultured taste who is a leader of men and lives in a castle? Doesn't get much more knightly than that.
Aimee is also an interesting character because, though she's half Veela and Gabrielle is envious of her looks, it's her intellect and intuition that stand out most. From their first meeting she reads
Harry better than just about anyone else in the story, and she also knows exactly to catch his attention. The combination of her instruction to Gabrielle and her subsequent entrance to the pool-side
scene might be the most clever -- and pleasantly vivid -- images you've given us so far. I also enjoyed the interplay between Harry and Bill. It helped lightened the mode, and I think it
strengthened your connection to canon roots nice.
But my favorite character in this fic so far is probably Ron. I liked his resistance in Chapter 1 and I was really impressed by how easily you made him understand and accept the consequences of his
actions in this chapter. It's obvious he wants what's best for Harry, and so far in this story that makes him pretty unique.
I wasn't a big fan of the flashback, though. Structurally, I think you would have been more natural to use first person and let Jean really tell his story if you needed to have a secondary flashback
within the flashback. And I thought the idea of Harry systematically hexing all his allies over an extended period of time was a bit much to take, both on the Super!Harry scale and within the
characterization of him as noble, inspiring scale. But maybe that's just me.
Either way, I'm very much looking forward to seeing where you go next. You've thrown your characters into quite the quagmire and It'll be fun watching them try to dig themselves out.
Thanks as always!
-KC
That conversation between Hermione and Ron was just a little scary. But I do like how you are writing a grown-up Ron.
Nice answer for why Harry goes arse over teakettle in the Floo... I wonder why that never occured to me before!
The wine tasting exposition was educational, but there seems to be a contradiction between 'more color=older' and 'red wines get paler as they age'. I know very little on he subject, but those two
facts seem to conflict.
"starfish on the bum" = Bwahahaha!
And the big revelation that caused all the controvery. I still think they were wrong to conceal it all this time... Harry not only couldn't form romantic attachments, but he had no way of knowing it
wasn't him. Damn lucky it didn't trigger a suicidal depression at some point. But we've beat that horse to death.
I'm glad that you didn't drag the manipulation out for that long. Good chapter.
monkey
And I just realise I screwed up the quote. It should of course be
"Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of war" (Mark Anthony - Julius Caesar)
I've thought it several times and finally am posting this.
Shurely it should be
"Cry God for Harry, England and St. George".
And while we're quoting Shakespeare how about using "Cry Havoc! And loose the dogs of war!"
RGH
I like how you displayed Ron and Hermoine in this chapter. The way they appear as a married couple is a lot like how I believed they would've turned out. I LOVE how you described Harry's reaction to learning out that he has been manipulated. How Gabrielle begged him not to break the connection, but all thought I think having her in a bikini would've proved more comical/sexier. I also believe his attitude towards learning about the bond is correct as well by having fought a war and having it affect Harry the way it did. I like how mature Gabrielle and how grown up she is. That is the kinda girl Harry needs. Bravo!
Was the for England and for Harry a deliberate Shakespeare quote? Silly girl, as if he would break the bond knowing what it would condemn her to. That's not our Harry. Excellent chapter though.
It's eerie that that was the precise outcome that would have happened when Harry found out, the anger, the begging, the ripping of the wards, the only thing that was different was the location. I thought it'd be in Beauxbatons.
hmmmm...wow its dramatical ..is that a word? ohh its really good!
I want to F*CKING KILL GABRIELLA!
finally a decent h/gabrielle fic
Very good story. I am enjoying this very much.
gunny
wow.
very well-written.
you truly give life to these characters.
:D
Wow, that is utterly fantastic. Really nice work on it. I'm almost afraid to see what happens next, but I'm sure I'll love it, so no worries. Goodnight!
So far very excellent. As always you are able to paint a vivid world, and have excellent characterizations.
I am always thrilled to read a story by you, and it looks like in this one, I won't have the dissapointment of it turning into a threesome like the Harry/Pansy one did.
I have really enjoyed your story and I am looking forward to the next chapter.
I know its probably too late to do anything about it. But in Harry's state of mind, he might wonder if she'd survive and not go insane if he were dead?
A little suicidal angsty Harry is always amusing. :D
