KC posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 12:07pm for Changes

Your writing talent makes even the most cliche-riddled story interesting, yet I must agree that continuing this story wouldn't be a productive use of time. (You've proven yourself to have much more worthwhile, creative stories.)

Just for the sake of even reading the abandoned fic it'd be nice to have one long run on sentence stating, "And things worked out just dandy for everyone and Tracy married thus and so, and Katie became the Minister of Magic, and Hermoine's business in portable living places revolutionized the world. . . and Harry defeated Voldemort a month later with his super!power and super!loyalty. . . and they all lived happily ever after."

seekertlk posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:48am for Changes

One other minor objection - Harry seems to be more than slightly prescient as to what's going to happen in year 5. That said, it was an interesting look at your writing process, and I'm glad you posted it.

DrT posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:18am for Changes

Well, I think you could have gotten around all the problems you mentioned and still have had an interesting story. Probably the most difficult point would have been getting Fleur back in the story in a believable way, assuming they weren't going to leap into a physical relationship.

Still, that doesn't mean that it would have been worth the effort in your opinion. Merlin knows, I have more than enough 1-10 chapters fics that just never got finished either. I even have a rather nice Harry time-travel back to Victorian Hogwarts, that just wound up going no-where. Thanks for sharing this anyways. I did like Tracey and Susan, would might have enjoyed more Malfoy torture.

"T"

Dellaran posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 10:35am for Changes

I like the dynamic that you were developing between Hermione and Harry's lieges - it was entirely reasonable for Hermione to be jealous at first, but she seems to have been able to get past those feelings. It would have been interesting to see how that evolved.

The Harry/Tracey relationship also has a bit of interesting potential, but also some risk. In what you've written, Harry has shown an almost superhuman will to be faithful to Fleur, even though he doesn't really know her so well yet. I would have to believe that Harry's resolve would weaken a little bit eventually, even if only for a moment. Living in such close quarters with Tracey is only the first of many tests of his resolve, and I'd have a little trouble believing it if he aced *all* of those tests.

At any rate, thanks for sharing this. It was interesting to read, even in its unfinished state.

CaptainG posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 10:34am for Changes

Fair enough, a lesser author would have worked and worked on this and finished with a cliche ridden story.
Saying that, i think the premise is one of the better ones ive seen in your abandoned/drabbles section (I still think that the Tomb Raider cross is a great idea) and that I would gladly read any aditions you have to this.

I do agree though, this isn't your best work, and although I'm sure that it would have improved with the beta process, I think it was a little heavy on dialogue.
The other thing that confused me was that there only seemed to be one night between Harry and Fleur, but then you referenced many other nights. Maybe a little explanation of what happened would have been helpful

Jason Karr posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 9:50am for Changes

I am sorry you let this story go it reads very well.

gadriam posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 9:03am for Changes

I hate it, but you're right. Not about the quality, mind you, but the closeness to well-known patterns. There wasn't many new places this could go. The Talk was brilliant, the insanely romantic follow-up even more so and the whole confidence thing was just great. I'd love to see that somewhere else in the future. Whatever you write, it has this special quality that marks it as both yours and great, even if it doesn't break new ground. Confident Harry isn't new, but you made him different. He was simply Harry Potter, in charge of his image. A nice guy with tons of integrity. I liked that.
Now i have to reread Hope. You are addictive, and i need a big fix.
g

Drake posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:57am for Changes

D':

can't you just write a short epilogue along the lines of "Harry married Fleur, had 2 kids, Tracy did....", pretty please.

I hate being left hanging on a story, and you said it yourself, it didn't pass QC, so, what's the harm in an epilogue?

Good stuff though, those "need mate" stories were all basically all the same.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:25am for Changes

Well, I'm sory that you didn't keep this going, as I really do like the idea here, and it would've been nice to get Tom out of the way sooner,a nd to see how Harry and the ladies could go about fixing some of whats broken in the wizarding world. Loved this a lot, and can't wait to see more of your stories as well. Just great, imo.

john2 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 7:43am for Changes

An enjoyable treat - I'm glad you posted it. Yeah, the plot has terminal problems, but it was fun.

J

Boofers posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 7:36am for Changes

While it was just as well written as all of your other stories I do have to agree with most of your ANs.. But now I'm an intrigued and have to wonder if you tihnk that you'll ever write a complete Harry/Fleur story?

happyreader posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 6:50am for Changes

Well,,,, as a reader I still must say I felt good about this story, I guess that puts me in the same cup as the folks who read (Sydney Shelton ??sp) Live well

amulder posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 5:33am for Changes

Well it was fun anyways. I'll confess, I liked this one better than "once more". I think Harry was more tired and jaded in that one.

Even though it was abandoned, it doesn't feel completely half finished, since you took it all the way to the Dursley's.

I like the technique of how you just skip over lots of stuff (the short time Harry had with Fleur) and then refer back to it later with a few comments here and there. It's one way to move the story along nicely

I do see the problem you have, of Fleur now suddenly being pushed off screen. Bringing her back to Hogwarts (as an assistant professor or something) would just be a horrid over-used fandom device. I can't count how many teacher-dating-student (with Harry in either role) stories I've read.

I guess the other option would be to have him drop out of Hogwarts. But then that wouldn't work with Dumbledore being really not a bad bloke after all.

You're right. This _is_ a problem.

On the other hand, if you could figure out a way to have Fleur there, it would be rather original. You'd have Fleur there, but Harry would be basically un-touchable to her for a year or two while he grows up. It'd be a bit like John's "Letters of the Summer" story where a relationship is built without any kissing taking place.

hope things are going well,
best wishes
...art

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 4:36am for Changes

I can see your reasons for discontinuing it. Still, it was an interesting way of starting off a story - the only problem being, as you more or less stated, that it's tricky to figure out where it goes.

Still, nicely written.